如何帮助一个焦虑的孩子

如何帮助一个焦虑的孩子

Childhood anxiety is one of the most important mental health challenges of our time. One in five children will experience some kind of clinical-level anxiety by the time they reach adolescence, according to Danny Pine, a child and adolescent psychiatrist at the National Institute of Mental Health and one of the world's top anxiety researchers. Pine says that for most kids, these feelings of worry won't last, but for some, they will — especially if those children don't get help.

童年焦虑是我们这个时代最重要的心理健康挑战之一。美国国家心理健康研究所儿童与青少年精神病学家、世界顶尖的焦虑症研究人员之一丹尼·派恩表示，五分之一的儿童在进入青春期之前会经历某种临床级别的焦虑。派恩说，对大多数孩子来说，这种焦虑感不会持续太久，但对一些孩子来说，特别是如果这些孩子得不到帮助的话，这种感觉会持续很久。

Here are four takeaways that all parents, caregivers and teachers can add to their anxiety toolkits, including information on how anxiety works, how parents can spot it and how to know when it's time to get professional help.

以下是所有家长、照顾者和老师都可以添加到他们的焦虑工具包中的四个要点，包括关于焦虑如何起作用的信息，父母如何发现它，以及如何知道什么时候该寻求专业帮助。

1. Anxiety is a fear of the future and all its unpredictability.

焦虑是对未来及其不可预测性的恐惧。

"The main thing to know about anxiety is that it involves some level of perception about danger," says Pine, and it thrives on unpredictability. The mind of an anxious child is often on the lookout for some future threat, locked in a state of exhausting vigilance.

派恩说:“关于焦虑最重要的一点是，它涉及到对危险的某种程度的感知。”一个焦虑的孩子的大脑经常处于一种令人筋疲力尽的警觉状态，时刻关注着未来的威胁。

We all have some of this hard-wired worry, because we need it. Pine says it's one of the reasons we humans have managed to survive as long as we have. "Young children are naturally afraid of strangers. That's an adaptive thing. They're afraid of separation."

我们都有这种根深蒂固的担忧，因为我们需要它。派恩说，这是我们人类得以生存的原因之一。“小孩子天生害怕陌生人。这是一种适应性的东西。他们害怕分离。”

2. Be on the lookout for the physical signs of anxiety.

留意焦虑时的身体迹象。

The worried feelings that come with anxiety can seem hidden to everyone. That's why it's especially important for grown-ups to pay close attention to a child's behavior and to look for the telltale signs of anxiety in children.

焦虑带来的烦恼似乎隐藏在每个人的心里。这就是为什么成年人密切关注孩子的行为，寻找孩子焦虑的迹象是特别重要的。

Anna, of Brampton, England, remembers when her 7-year-old son started having trouble at school. (We aren't using parents' full names to protect their children's privacy.)

来自英格兰布兰普敦的安娜还记得她7岁的儿子在学校遇到麻烦的时候。(为了保护孩子的隐私我们不会使用父母的全名。)

"He was just coming home and saying his stomach hurt. He was very sick," Anna says. When she followed up with him to try to get to the root of his stomachache, she says, "he did tell me he was worried about school, and he told me specifically it was a teacher that he was worried about."

“他刚回到家，说他的胃疼，他病得很厉害，”安娜说。当她跟踪他，试图找到他胃痛的根源时，她说，“他告诉我他担心学校，特别是担心一位老师。”

A stomachache, headache or vomiting can all signal anxious feelings, especially as a child gets closer to the source of the anxiety.

胃痛、头痛或呕吐都是焦虑的信号，尤其是当孩子越来越接近焦虑的源头时。

"You'll see that they'll have a rapid heartbeat. They'll get clammy, you know, because their heart is racing," says Rosemarie Truglio, the head of curriculum and content at Sesame Workshop. "They'll become tearful. That's another sign. ... Anxiety is about what's going to be happening in the future. So there's a lot of spinning in their head, which they're not able to articulate."

“你会看到他们的心跳很快，他们会浑身冰冷，你知道，因为他们的心跳在加速，”芝麻工作室的课程和内容负责人罗斯玛丽·特鲁格里奥说。“他们会变得泪流满面。这是另一个迹象。焦虑是对未来会发生的事情的担忧。所以他们的脑子里有很多东西，他们无法表达出来。”

3. Before you try to reason with a panicked child, help the child relax.

在你试图和一个恐慌的孩子讲道理之前，先帮助他放松。

"You're not going to be able to move forward until you get them to calm down," says Sesame's Truglio. "Because if you can't calm them down, you can't even reach them. They're not listening to your words because they can't. Their body is taking over, so talking and shouting and saying, 'You're going to do this!' is not very helpful."

芝麻的特鲁格里奥说:“除非你让他们冷静下来，否则你无法取得进展。”“因为如果你不能让他们平静下来，你甚至无法接触到他们。他们不会听你的话，因为他们做不到。他们的身体正在控制一切，所以即使你大喊着说着:‘你要这么做!’不会有很大帮助。”

4. Validate your child's fear.

确认孩子的恐惧。

We heard from lots of parents who say they really struggle to know how to respond when their kids worry about unlikely things — especially if the fear is getting in the way of a busy daily routine, maybe a fun family outing or sleep.

我们听到许多父母说，当他们的孩子担心不可能发生的事情时，他们真的不知道该如何应对——尤其是当这种恐惧阻碍了他们繁忙的日常生活，比如一次有趣的家庭出游或睡觉时。

"She comes down. It's 2 a.m. And she wakes me up," says Amber, of Huntsville, Ala., about her 8-year-old daughter. "And she said, 'I don't want to go away to college. I want to live at home for college.' And it's 2 a.m. ... That's when I really have to filter and not say, 'That is ridiculous. This is not a big deal!' "

”她2点下来把我叫醒了，”来自阿拉巴马州亨茨维尔的安布尔说。这是她8岁的女儿。“她说，‘我不想去上大学。我想在家里读大学。“现在是凌晨两点……那时我真的需要再三思考，而不是说，‘这太荒谬了。这没什么大不了的!’”

Amber's filtered response was exactly right, says Truglio. Never dismiss a child's worries, no matter how irrational they may seem. A parent's priority, she says, should be "validating your child's feelings and not saying, 'Oh, you know, buck up. You can do this!' That's not helpful."

特鲁格里奥说，安布尔的再三考虑完全正确。永远不要忽视孩子的忧虑，无论它们看起来多么不合理。她说，父母的首要任务应该是“确认孩子的感受，而不是说，‘哦，你知道，振作起来。你能做到的!’那没用。”