法庭上的那些搞笑段子，有时候不只是肚子疼.....

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?

律师：你早上听到你丈夫说的第一句话是什么？

WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'

证人：他说‘我在哪，cathy?’

ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?

律师：这有什么让你沮丧的吗？

WITNESS: My name is Susan!

证人：我的名字是susan!

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?

律师：你第一次婚姻是怎么结束的？

WITNESS: By death.

证人：因为死亡。 

ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?

律师：是因为谁的死亡而结束的？

 WITNESS: Take a guess.

证人：你觉得呢？

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?

律师：医生，你有多少次解剖是在死人身上进行的？

WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.

证人：所有都是，活人一般都忍不了。

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

律师：你还记得你检查尸体的时间吗？

WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

证人：解剖是晚上八点半开始的。

ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?

律师：所以邓盾先生那时候已经死了？

WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.

证人：如果没有，尸体解剖之后他肯定死了……

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

律师：碰撞发生时,你的车子在几档?

WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

证人：我穿着GUCCI套衫，锐步鞋。

引申：Gear有多种含义，一是汽车排档的档位，二是身上为特定目的而穿的装备、衣物。这里attorney问的是“撞车的时候你在什么档位”，证人理解成“撞车的时候你穿戴如何”，于是回答“我穿Gucci汗衫和锐步鞋”。

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

律师：这个重症肌无力影响你的记忆力吗？ 

WITNESS: Yes.

证人：影响。

ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

律师：那么它是以什么方式影响你的记忆力的呢？

WITNESS: I forget.

证人：我忘了

ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

律师：你忘了？你能给我们一个例子说说你忘了什么事儿吗……  

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?

律师：她有三个孩子，对吗？

WITNESS: Yes.

证人：是的

ATTORNEY: How many were boys?

律师：几个男孩？

WITNESS: None.

证人：没有男孩

ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

律师：那有女孩吗？

W ITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

证人：尊敬的法官，我想我需要另外一个律师，可以换一个新的给我吗？