就分句间的相对位置而言,汉语的顺序相对比较固定,一般按照先因后果、语序与时序相一致的顺序排列。而英语则比较灵活,语序与时序常常不相一致。这也是汉译英时需要调整语序的重要原因。
(26)①我走过地板时,②一块板子吱吱作响。
A board creaked as I crossed the floor.
原文按照先因后果顺序排列,译文正好颠倒过来。它也可以译作When I crossed the floor, a board creaked.
(27)①佗用刀刮骨,②悉悉有声。
②The knife made a thin, ①grating sound as it scraped the surface.
(罗贯中《三国演义》,Moss Roberts译)
原文语序与时序一致。译文颠倒了语序,并以The knife(刀)替换了原主语“(华)佗”。译文符合英语习惯,行文也更加连贯。
(28)①如果说白天广州像座翡翠城,②那么当太阳沉没,③广州就成了一颗夜明珠,④灯光如海,⑤千街闪烁。
①If Guangzhou is like a city of jadeite in the daytime, ③it becomes a luminous pearl, ④with a sea of lights twinkling ⑤in the streets ②after the sun sets in the west.
(碧野《广州抒情》,李定坤译)
原文含5个小句,完全依照时间先后顺序排列。译文重新调整了语序,表达流畅自然。
(29)①女主人已经离开人世,②再没有人喂它了。③它好像已经意识到这一点。
③He must have been aware ②that nobody was going to feed him ①after the death of his mistress.
(季羡林《加德满都的狗》,张培基译)
原文是典型的汉语语序。译文将原文的三个小句并成了一句,语序恰好相反,符合英语表达习惯。