生活英语听力文章：丹尼斯威特力的14种方法来构建你的自尊
14种方式建立起你的自尊——丹尼斯-韦特利
Recently I listened to an interview between Denis Waitley*, one of the greatest teachers in human achievement and Darren Hardy, publisher of Success Magazine. One of the questions Hardy asked Waitley was, “How can people improve their self-esteem?”
Waitley first defined the term by saying, “Your self-esteem is the deep-down, inside-the-skin feeling of your own worth, regardless of how you look or where you came from. It is the feeling of worthiness—just being glad you are you. It’s the feeling of identity—finding something unique about yourself. It has the feeling of competency—if I do something and it works out, it gives me the courage to do something more.”
Continuing, Waitley listed fourteen ways that people can strengthen their self-esteem.
1. Lead with your hand. When you walk into a room always lead with your hand by offering a firm handshake. This gives you a feeling of self-assurance and indicates to others that you are confident in who you are.
2. Make eye contact. Making eye contact indicates you are a caring person capable of holding the glass of another person.
3. Offer Your Name First When meeting people, always introduce yourself by saying your name.
4. Smile. A smile indicates there’s a light on in your window and that you are a caring and sharing person inside.
5. Dress your best. Always dress your best—not necessarily in designer clothing—and take pride in how you look. It’s the outside of the package that draws people in.
6. Ask engaging questions. When you ask questions you are demonstrating your genuine interest in others.
7. Sit in front. When you attend meetings, sit up front and be an active participant.
8. Walk with confidence. Walk with a spring in your step—a certain type of charisma and feeling about yourself.
9. Use a positive explanatory style. Listen carefully to how people describe themselves, as that often tells a lot about how people feel about themselves. Do they say negative things? Do they make excuses? Always explain yourself with a positive explanatory style.
10. Accept compliments. When you graciously accept compliments, you are accepting yourself for who you are rather than making excuses about yourself.
11. Keep your self-talk positive. We are all our own worse critics. No eyes are as critical as our own. We don’t like pictures and videos of ourselves. There is no voice or set of eyes that has the power to discourage like your own. Look for the good in you, not the bad, and when you look in the mirror count your blessings, not your blemishes.
12. Look at what you do well. When things aren’t going well, look back at the things you have done well. When we focus on what’s good about ourselves, we feel good about ourselves. When we focus on our faults, mistakes and weaknesses, we naturally feel poorly about ourselves.
13. Hang around the right people. Our circle of influence is our circle of influencers that have a powerful impact on how we feel about our abilities and ourselves. Hang around people with the same goals, rather than the same problems. Play with better golfers and bowlers. Spend your time with people who have been more successful in the same fields.
14. Expect good things from yourself. You will not do anything or reach any goal you don’t expect to achieve. Our expectations are at the root of all our achievements, and our achievements have a profound impact on how we view and feel about ourselves.
I encourage you to print out Denis Waitley’s list of ways to improve your self-esteem and read the linked Little Things Matter posts that edify his ideas. I then challenge you to be intentional about implementing each of them into your daily lives.
As you focus on building your self-esteem, remember the wise words from Ralph Waldo Emerson who said, “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”
最近我收听了《成功杂志》的出版商达伦-哈代对丹尼斯-韦特利的访谈，后者是人类成就学领域最杰出的讲师之一。(其中)哈代问惠特利的一个问题是：“人们如何提升自尊感?” 惠特利首先对“自尊”做了定义，说“你的自尊是内心深处对于自我价值的感知，它不受制于你的长相或你的出身。它是对(自我)价值的鉴赏，为自我的存在感到快乐。它是对(自我)身份的鉴赏，发觉自己的独特魅力。它有着对(自我)能力的鉴赏，即如果我把一件事做得很好，这就使我有了勇气去做更多的事情。” 接着，惠特利列举了14种方式，都是帮助人们加强自尊的。
1. 从手开始。当你走进一个房间，你要时常先给对方一个坚定的握手。这能给你自我肯定的感觉，也给他人展现出你的自信。
2. 眼神交流。眼神的交流显示了你是一个关切他人的人，能够帮助他人。
3. 先报上名。当你和人会面时，应该时常自报姓名地介绍自己。
4. 保持微笑。一个微笑就像一窗户上的一道光，表示你是真心关怀和分享的人。
5. 漂亮穿衣。永远要穿你最漂亮的衣服——不一定是名牌的——为自己的打扮感到自豪。外在的包装也拉近人的距离。
6. 魅力提问。当你提问时，你是在展示你对他人真正所感兴趣的地方。
7. 坐在前面。当你参加会议时，要坐在前排，做积极的与会人。
8. 步伐自信。走路步伐要轻快——领导者的一个典型特征，自我鉴赏。
9. 积极阐述。认真地听别人阐述自己，这通常也表明他们如何看待他们自己。他们会说自己的负面信息吗?他们给自己找托词吗?你要一直用积极的言语阐述你自己。
10. 接受赞许。当你和蔼地接受赞许时，你是在自我接受，而不是为自己找台阶。
11. 积极自诩。我们都是自己的“恶评员”。没有谁的眼睛比我们自己的更挑剔。我们(往往)不喜欢自己的照片或视频。没有谁的声音或眼睛更能挫败我们自己了。你要学会去看自己好的一面，而不是糟糕的一面，当你照镜子的时候，看自己的美，而不是瑕疵。
12. 关注成功。当事情进展不顺利时，回想自己的成功。当我们关注自己的优势时，我们会赏识自己的优点。当我们聚焦自己的缺点、错误和弱点时，我们很自然地会自我贬低。
13. 结交益友。我们的朋友圈对我们的影响可以延伸到我们如何看待自己的能力和我们本身。结交与我们志趣相投的朋友，而不是同病相怜的人。和更棒的高尔夫球手、更好的保龄球手一起玩儿。多花时间和那些你的领域中有更多成就的在人一起。
14. 自我期待。你不会做自己不想做的事，也不会达成自己不想要的一个目标。我们的期望是我们成功的根源，而我们的成功会深深地影响我们对自己的看法和认知。 我鼓励你们将丹尼斯-韦特利的这些建议打印出来，并阅读相关的细节例子，提升自尊意识。然后我要求你们用心地将它们付诸实践到生活中去。 在你专注提升自尊的时候，请记得拉尔夫·瓦尔多·爱默生的至理名言，他说，“我们的过去和我们的将来如何都很渺小，因为我们内心如何才更关键。”
When you concentrate on positive actions and attitudes, not only will you achieve greater personal and professional success, but you will also enjoy the powerful side effect of an improved self-image.
当你关注积极的事情和心态时，你不仅可以收获个人和职业上的更伟大的成功，你还将享受随之而来的更好的自我评价。
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