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优雅地接受失败,你能做到吗?

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2015年08月20日

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  1. Become aware of your emotions.

  意识到自己的情感。

  Think about what you just experienced, and try to understand how you are currently responding to it. If you are angry, ask yourself why you are angry. If you are disappointed, ask yourself what you hoped to achieve. Before you accept or control your emotions, you must first understand them.

  2. Validate yourself.

  证明你自己。

  Tell yourself that there is no way to "feel wrong". No emotion is inherently good or bad. They simply are, and it's healthy to embrace them. Acknowledge the fact that whatever you are feeling is entirely acceptable.

  3. Keep perspective.

  保持洞察力

  You may have not been able to prevent your defeat, but you can control your reaction towards it. Take a deep breath, and try to be as levelheaded as possible. Remind yourself that what has happened has happened, and that you cannot change it. This attitude will allow you to be flexible and adaptable – and you may find yourself better at handling negativity and loss in future situations.

  4. Don't take yourself too seriously.

  别把自己太当回事。

  A situation can always be worse. Consider whether there is a silver lining that you haven't yet seen. Try to find the humor in what has happened, and keep a smile on your face – even though it may be hard for you to crack a natural smile. You may find that the situation is funnier, smaller, or more absurd once you take a step back from your personal investment.

  5. Let go of defeat.

  失败了,就由他而去吧!

  When you fail, your emotions can distort your perspective. Do not linger on what happened, and do not let your defeat continue to defeat you. You might feel yourself welling up with anger, frustration, or indignation: feelings that, in this case, will only feed themselves. Learn to recognize these non-accepting emotions, catch hold of them, and cast them aside.

  6. Lose with grace.

  优雅地失败

  Show respect to whomever or whatever has defeated you. Shake hands with your opponent, and congratulate her on a job well done. Whether you lost a fight, a debate, or a competition, try not to resort to pettiness. You won't be able to reverse the results by complaining about them, or by acting bitter toward the winner. Be as polite and gracious as possible.

  7. Don't let judgment get to you.

  别让他人的判断左右了你

  If others will judge you for being defeated, let them do so. You know who you are, and you don't need to justify yourself to someone else who doesn't know your heart. Be your own center. Losing with class turns your loss into a much bigger victory than any win would.

  8. Do not lay blame.

  不要责怪

  If you blame another person, group, or set of circumstances for your defeat, you will keep yourself from accepting what happened. If you blame yourself, you will make yourself miserable, and you'll miss out on the chance to grow from the experience. Try to take the situation exactly as it is: what happened, happened, and no amount of blaming will reverse that.

  9. Focus on admiring how well your opponent played rather than your own defeat.

  把精力集中在欣赏你的对手打得好上,而不是总想自己的失败。

  Praise them for a particularly clever or effective move. This has the added benefit of letting you take effective strategies from them and figure out flaws in their strategy.

  10. Admit that you were wrong.

  承认自己错了。

  If you lost a debate or an argument, you can improve your image by admitting that you were wrong or defeated. Consider apologizing, acknowledging your mistake, or explaining how you were wrong; after all, it's more shameful and immature to cling to what's wrong than admitting someone else is right.

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