散文佳作108篇 第29期:夜间来客 A night Visitor
A night Visitor
——“名人”被访实录
-A true Story a ‘Celebrity’ Being Interviewed
楼适夷
By Lou Shiyi
老黄老了，人称“黄老”。老啦，没办法，吃过晚饭，看了点电视新闻，有些迷糊了，打算洗个脸、泡泡脚，上床寻梦去。
Mr. Huang was old. People addressed him as “Respected Mr. Huang”. Being old, he easily gottired and could not help it. After supper, having watched News Today on the TV, he began tofeel sleepy, so he went about washing his face and feet before going to bed.
门铃一响，来了客人。从不谢客，礼当接待。忙把袜子穿上，整冠而出。来客红光满面，一开口就知道是远客。他拿出一张名片：“我是S文艺报记者，由X同志介绍来的。来京开会，兼带访问在京名人的使命。已拜访过Z老、J老。”
Suddenly the door-bell rang, announcing the arrival of a visitor. As Mr. Huang had neverrefused any visit before, this one should be received with courtesy too. Quickly putting hissocks back on and smoothing his hair, he hurried to the door, and there he was confronted bya man with a glowing face. By the first word he uttered Mr. Huang knew that this man wasfrom a far-off place. The man took out a calling card from his pocket and said: “I’m a reporter ofthe Literature and Arts Gazette of S city, and I’m here to see you on Mr. X’s recommendation.I’ve come to attend a symposium in Beijing and in the meantime I’m visiting some celebritieshere. I’ve had the honor of visiting with Respected Mr. Z and Mr. J.”
“我算什么名人，哪能比他们两老。既来之，则安之。那就请坐，不知要谈点什么，请提吧?”
“I’m not much of a celebrity though. How can I be lined up with them. However, since you’vecome, come on in and take a seat. Whatever you want to talk about please go ahead.”
“您叫什么名字?”
“What’s your name?”
老黄吓了一跳，访问名人，居然连名字还没搞清。
Mr. Huang was shocked. How come he is here visiting me as a “celebrity” and doesn’t evenknow my name?
“嗯嗯，我叫……”
“Well, my name is…”
“不，请教黄老的原名。”
“No, but I’m asking about your original name.”
“小时候妈妈叫我的吗?八十年啦，自己也忘掉了，真抱歉。”
“You mean the one my mother gave me when I was small? But it was eighty years ago and I’veclean forgotten it myself. I’m sorry about that.”
“常用的笔名呢?”
“What about the pen name you use regularly?”
“乱七八糟地写了那么些年，东换西换的，一时也排不出队来了
“For so many years I’ve written all sorts of stuff under all sorts of pen names. I’m not sure Ican sort them out at the moment.”
于是，第二个问题：
Then came the second question.
“黄老哪里人，南方的?”
“Where are you from? From the south?”
“不错，也不太南，就是你们那边一律叫‘上海人’的那种地方。”
“Yes, quite, but not too far south. In fact I’m from a place where people are known to your areaas ‘Shanghainese’.”
“在哪工作，多少工资?”
“Where do you work and how much do you earn?”
“老啦，干不了啦，也没什么工资，拿些退休金，就是外国人叫‘养老金领取者’
“I’m too old to work any more. I’m not drawing any salary except some pension-I’m a‘pensioner’ as the Westerners call it.”
“啊，离休了，每月多少，不少吧?”向会客室打量了一下。
“:I see. You’re retired. How much pension do you receive each month? Not too small a sum, Iguess?” he said, running his eyes around the sitting-room.
“还可以就是了!”
“Enough to keep me going, that’s all.”
见回答太简单，另换题目了。
Thinking that the answers given were too curt and brief, he came up with a new idea.
“Shall we have a photo taken together?”
“咱们合照一个相。”从手提包中拿出摄影机来：“请刚才那位倒茶的，按一下就行!”
He produced a camera from his bag and went on: “Let’s ask the old woman to help us, the onewho’s just brought us tea. Give a push to the button. Just as simple as that.”
老黄心里对太太抱歉了，连忙声明：“对不起，刚才没介绍，那是我老伴，她不会照相，免了吧，还是谈问题。”不免暗暗地反感了，是查户口还是什么，看他一边问，一边还记录。
Feeling terribly sorry for his wife, Mr. Huang protested: “I’m sorry I forgot to introduce her toyou. ‘The old woman is my wife. She knows nothing about the camera, so forget about thephoto. Let’s go on with your questions.” Mr. Huang was kind of irritated to find that the visitor,while asking questions, kept jotting down notes like a security policeman checking householdregistrations.
“在家做什么，写自传吗?”
“What do you do at home? Writing an autobiography?”
“哪有这种资格，坐家呗，好久拿不起笔了，没作什么!”
“Not qualified to do that. Just sitting idle at home. I haven’t touched the pen for ages, as amatter of fact.”
“那我们谈谈文艺问题!”
“Shall we talk about literature and arts?”
“请说具体些可以吗?”
”Could you make it more specific, please?”
“比方说，现在大家正讨论P诗人的朦胧诗，您老是个什么看法。”
“For example, these days people are discussing Poet P’s mystic poetry. What do you think ofit?”
“对不起，没读过，也读不懂，落后了;报刊少看，讨论也没关心过。”
“I’m sorry I haven’t read any of his poetry and I don’t think I can understand it. I have yet tocatch up. I seldom read newspapers and magazines and never concern myself with thediscussion of his poetry.”
“那谈谈文学的通俗问题，这次我来京就参加这问题的讨论会，请黄老谈谈。”
“Would you like to talk about literature going pop, then? This is the theme of the symposiumthis time. Could you air some views on that?”
“通俗嘛，好啊，人人看得懂，这就是我的意见。”老黄两眼皮又迷糊起来了。
“Literature going pop? Very Well. Make it understandable to all. This is my view, if you like?”Mr. Huang began to feel drowsy again.
“那谈谈对目前文艺形势的感想，好吗?”
“Could you please tell me how you feel about the general trend of literature and arts at themoment?”
“也没多少感想。至于目前，我‘感到’有些困，‘想’睡觉了!”
“I don’t ‘feel’ much about that but, ‘ at the moment’, I ‘feel’ sleepy. I ‘feel’ like going to bed.”
这一下，可大扫了远客的兴头，“啊吆，对不起，打搅了，下次再拜访!”站起来了。
This was terribly disappointing to the visitor. “Well, well, I must apologize for havingdisturbed you. I’ll visit you again next time I am in Beijing.” With this he stood up.
“是我对不起您啦，远道而来，无可奉告，恕不远送了!欢迎下次再光临。”
“I must apologize to you, sir. You’ve come from afar but I haven’t got much to offer. Pardonme for not seeing you off. You are welcome to drop in next time.”
