你的孩子是欺负别人还是被欺负的?

你的孩子是欺负别人还是被欺负的?

Middle school can be tough: switching classes, learning locker combinations, more challenging coursework. It’s also where the most bullying begins. According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, about 49 percent of children in grades four to 12 reported being bullied by other students at least once a month, and 31 percent of children reported being the ones who bullied.

中学生活可能很艰难:换班，学习储物柜组合，更有挑战性的课程。这也是最大的欺凌开始的地方。据美国卫生与公众服务部的数据，大约49%的四年级至12年级的孩子每月至少会被其他学生欺负一次，31%的孩子称自己是欺负别人的人。

Those numbers suggest that it’s more likely than not that your child will either be the target of bullying or the instigator.

这些数字表明，你的孩子更有可能要么成为欺凌的目标，要么成为煽动者。

Prevalent Perpetrators

普遍的罪犯

We think we know what a bully looks like. Pop culture paints an image of an alpha male or female who is either the star football player or head cheerleader. However, it’s not always that easy to identify the problem child, especially if their misdeeds occur primarily online. More male students may be physically bullied than female (6 percent versus 4 percent), according to the National Center for Educational Statistics. Jennifer Knack, an associate professor of psychology at Clarkson University who has researched bullying for 15 years, points out that girls are typically socialized out of physical bullying and, instead, start using bullying tactics like ostracism or spreading rumors. However, cyberbullying affects both genders.

我们认为我们知道恶霸是什么样子的。流行文化把足球明星或啦啦队长描绘成男性领袖或女性领袖的形象。然而，识别问题儿童并不总是那么容易，尤其是如果他们的错误行为主要发生在网上。根据国家教育统计中心的数据，男生可能比女生更容易受到身体上的欺负(6%比4%)。克拉克森大学(Clarkson University)心理学副教授珍妮弗·克纳克(Jennifer Knack)研究欺凌问题已有15年时间。她指出，女孩通常不受身体欺凌，而是开始使用排斥或散播谣言等欺凌策略。然而，网络欺凌对两性都有影响。

Seeking Solutions

寻求解决方案

Many schools have turned to bullying prevention programs and policies as a solution; however, they aren’t usually that effective, Knack suggests. Adults may look at these initiatives as a positive step, but Knack says that depends on the specific programs and how they’re implemented. “I always worry about this one week we care about this issue,” she says, in reference to annual bullying awareness events nationwide. “Kids can see right through that.”

许多学校已经把防止校园欺凌的计划和政策作为解决办法;然而，Knack建议，它们通常没有那么有效。成年人可能把这些计划看作是一个积极的步骤，但是Knack说这取决于具体的计划以及如何实施。“我总是担心这一周我们关心这个问题，”她说，指的是全国范围内的年度欺凌意识活动。“孩子们能看穿这一切。”

Schiff, whose school hosts a Kindness Week, says resources would be better spent by hiring more counselors or social workers who can make connections with students so those students have someone at school they can trust.

希夫所在的学校举办了一个慈善周，希夫说，如果能雇佣更多的辅导员或社会工作者来与学生建立联系，让学生在学校里有一个可以信任的人，资源会得到更好的利用。

Who’s a bully?

欺负弱小者是谁?

The distinction between bully and bullied isn’t always clear. In a school environment, social hierarchy often determines these two positions, which isn’t always a good thing.

欺凌者和被欺凌者之间的区别并不总是很明显。在学校环境中，社会等级往往决定这两个位置，这并不总是一件好事。

“Bullies who are on the higher end of the social hierarchy are often liked by teachers, liked by administrators and so they often get a pass even though they’re harming other children in terms of their social relationships,” says Knack.

Knack说:“那些社会等级较高的恃强凌弱者通常会受到老师和管理人员的喜爱，所以即使他们在社会关系方面伤害了其他孩子，他们也会得到原谅。”

Kids who are bullied often withdraw from activities, go from being talkative to quiet, experience fluctuations in grades — all red flags that parents need to be aware of — but what about the kids who are doing the bullying? If you notice that your child is suddenly getting a lot of extra attention from classmates, that could be a different sort of red flag.

被欺负的孩子经常不参加活动，从健谈到安静，经历成绩的波动——这些都是家长需要注意的危险信号——但是那些欺负别人的孩子呢?如果你注意到你的孩子突然从同学那里得到了很多额外的关注，这可能是另一种危险信号。