结婚前必须要问自己的6个问题（双语）

But most of them happen because they were not in the right marriage to begin with. Those marriages took place because the partners didn’t (or couldn’t) give as much thought to their decision (of getting married) as they should have。但大多数人会离婚是因为他们一开始就没有选择正确的婚姻。他们会结婚是因为夫妻双方没有(或者没能)对结婚这个决定做出应有的思考。

here are the six crucial questions that you must ask yourselves before you pop the question. While there are many more factors specific to your relationship which you can (and should) take into account, make sure you don’t miss out on these six。下面这六个关键问题是你在准备结婚之前必须问自己的。关于你们的关系，还有许多你可以(或者应该)考虑的因素，确保你不会错过这六点。

1. Are our life and career goals similar?我们的生活和事业目标相似吗?

Marriage is a decision to inextricably join your life with someone else’s. Aligning your life, career and other important goals is crucial。一旦做出结婚的决定，你的生活就无可避免地会介入另一半的生活。调整你的生活、事业、以及其他重要的目标非常关键。

Do you want to settle down in a quaint suburb and have lots of kids? Then don’t marry someone who wants to live and work in five continents。你想在一个清净的郊区定居下来生很多孩子吗?那么就不要和那些想在世界各地生活工作的人结婚。

2. Do we fulfill each other's needs?我们是否可以满足对方的需求?

We all have emotional, intellectual, physical, practical, social and various other needs from a relationship. If you’re in a relationship and are planning to get married, ask yourself – have you made a rational, clear-headed evaluation of whether and how much of your needs your significant other fulfills?在一段关系中，我们都有情感的、理智的、生理的、实际的、社会的以及其他各种需求。如果你处在一段恋爱中正计划结婚，问问你自己，你是否已经理性、清醒地评估过，你的另一半是否满足了你的需求，满足了多少?

Now nothing can be truer than the fact that every relationship takes some ceding of grounds, and kudos to you if you’re willingly doing your bit. But if you ignore your basic needs, they will find a way to come back to you in the long run – in the form of fights, emotional abuse, cheating and even divorce。事实上如果你想继续下去，每段感情都需要一些退让，放下一些尊严，这一点再正确不过了。但是如果你忽视了自己基本的需求，它们最终还是会回来找你——形式也许是争斗、精神虐待、欺骗甚至离婚。

3. Do we know really know each other?我们真的了解对方吗?

Knowing your partner and allowing them to know you are vital aspects of a stable relationship. Trust takes an immense amount of work (and time) to build, but only seconds to lose。对于一段稳定的感情来说，了解你的另一半并且让他们了解你是至关重要的。建立信任需要大量的努力(还有时间)，而失去信任只需要几秒钟。

Be honest and tell your partner everything you think they should know about you. This will make it easier for them to do the same. Needless to say, if you can’t trust your partner enough to do that, it is probably not the time to think about marriage。诚实地告诉你的另一半所有你认为他们应该知道的关于你的事情。这样让他们坦白起来也更容易一些。不用说，如果你还不能足够信任你的另一半这样做，也许你们还不是时候应该考虑结婚。

4. Do we know how to deal with each other’s "negative" sides?我们是否知道该如何应对对方的消极面?

We all have our negative aspects. If you’re thinking about making a lifelong commitment to someone it’s crucial to understand and develop strategies to deal with each other’s less-than-desirable traits。我们都有自己的缺点。如果你正在考虑向某人许下一生的承诺，那么理解并想出办法应对彼此那些不太尽如人意的特质就非常重要。

It takes time to understand and deal with things we don’t like about our partners. And until and unless you’ve spent that time, you’re not ready to make a decision on marriage。理解并应对那些另一半身上我们不喜欢的东西是需要时间的。除非你付出了这个时间，否则你就还没有做好准备要结婚。

5. Do we admire and respect each other?我们是否赞赏并尊重对方?

Falling in love with someone “for no particular reason” is great for the heady period of infatuation but not nearly enough for the everyday reality of marriage。和某人“莫名其妙”地坠入爱河在疯狂的迷恋期是好的，但对于每天现实的婚姻来说就不够了。

Ask yourselves whether you admire each other for the special individuals that you are and the unique qualities that you both possess。问问你自己，你们是否因为彼此的特别和共同拥有的特质而相互赞赏。

Marriage is a long – sometimes boring, but stable – commitment. It cannot be based on whether someone is exciting to you. It has to be about finding long-term fulfilment and happiness in the individuals that you are。婚姻是一种长期的承诺，有时候很无趣，但是又很稳定。它并不建立在一个人是否让你兴奋的基础上。它必须在你身上找到长期的成就感和幸福感。

6. Am I ready to think of him/her as a parent of my children?我是否准备好让他/她做我孩子的父亲/母亲?

You love your partner like mad? Great. But do you also respect them? Are you proud of them? Remember, your legacy to this world will be as much a part of you as of him/her。你疯狂地爱着你的另一半?很好。但是你是否也尊重他/她，为他/她感到骄傲呢?记住，你对这个世界的遗产就是你们二人结合的一部分。

Unless it fills your heart with joy to think of them as a parent of your children, you should probably think about that marriage thing again. In this regard it’s important to take not only your significant other, but also their family into account. Your child will carry as much of your genes as theirs. Is that something that makes you happy?除非你一想到他/她会成为你孩子的父亲/母亲就满心欢喜，否则你恐怕应该重新考虑婚姻这件事。在这一点上，不仅要考虑你的另一半，还要考虑到他的家庭，这是很重要的。你的孩子携带的他的基因会和你的一样多。这会让你感到高兴吗?