One method I've found helpful is "punting". You're punting when you tell the person you need to think about the request and that you'll get back about it. Say a colleague calls and pressures me to give a lecture at his university. I've learned to say, "I'm flattered that you thought of me. Let me check my schedule, and I'll call you back. "
This gives me time to deal with any feelings of guilt if I have to say no. Suppose I decide it is better to decline; punting allow me to plan what I will say when I call back, "I appreciate being asked," I might indicate, "but I find I'm over-committed right now. However, I hope you'll think of me in the future. "
Responding to difficult people with patience and empathy can be tough, especially when you feel upset. But the moment you give up your need to control or be right, the other person will begin relaxing and start listening to you. The Greek philosopher Epictetus understood this when he said nearly 2, 000 years ago, "If someone criticizes you, agree at once. Mention that if only the other person knew you well, there would be more to criticize than that !"
Real communication results from a spirit of respect for yourself and for the other person. The benefits can be amazing.
1. The principle the writer has discovered to stop any conflict from going worse is to find a way to agree.
2. The taxi driver thanked the businesswoman because she was very polite to him.
3. Difficult people mentioned in the passage include those who give occasional complaints.
4. One way to deal with the person who is unreasonably abusive is to walk away from the situation.
5. If Mr. Barry had followed Brad's advice, he would have solved all his personal problems.
6. What habitual complainers need is a good listener.
7. It will end up in unhappiness whether you have satisfied your friend's request or not.
8. You will be rewarded with a real communication if you______for others.
9. A difficult person can become a relaxing and good conversational partner if you______your control.
10. According to the author, one effective way to deal with a demanding friend is______.
I. Y 2. N 3. N 4. Y 5. NG 6. Y 7. N 8. show respect 9. give up 10. punting
