GRE作文范文 Argument-30

"Over the past few years, the number of people who have purchased advance tickets for the Glenville Summer Concert series has declined, indicating lack of community support. Although the weather has been unpredictable in the past few years, this cannot be the reason for the decline in advance ticket purchases, because many people attended the concerts even in bad weather. Clearly, then, the reason for the decline is the choice of music, so the organizers of the concert should feature more modern music in the future and should be sure to include music composed by Richerts, whose recordings Glenville residents purchase more often than any other contemporary recordings. This strategy will undoubtedly increase advance ticket purchases and will increase attendance at the concerts."

嘉文博译Sample Essay

This argument addresses the problem of a declining number of people purchasing advance tickets for the Glenville Summer Concert series, which the arguer states indicates a lack of community support. The arguer states that bad weather cannot be the reason for the decline because even though the weather had been unpredictable over the past few years, people attended the concerts even in poor weather. The arguer then concludes that the problem must lie with the choice of music, and that more modern music as well as recordings by Richerts, whose recordings are purchased more often by Glenville residents than any other contemporary recordings, should be included to increase advance ticket sales and increase attendance. This argument is unconvincing because the arguer reaches the conclusion based on faulty logic.

In the first place, the writer of the letter states that the decrease in the number of people who purchase advance tickets for the event indicates a lack of community support. A simple decline in advance ticket sales does not necessarily indicate a lack of community support; it may just be that there is no benefit to buying the tickets in advance. It is possible that more people will continue to attend the concert than ever before by buying tickets at the gate rather than in advance. There may be other reasons instead of a lack of community support for the decline in advance ticket sales. For example, in the past there may have been a discount given for buying the tickets in advance. Perhaps in the past there was a "rain-out" provision where advance ticket holders could get a refund if the weather was bad. The dropping of these advance ticket benefits would explain the decline in the number of people buying them. If there is no benefit to buying advance tickets, there is no reason for the community to buy the tickets early. The arguer fails to take these possibilities into account, thus weakening his or her argument.

Furthermore, the writer states that although the weather has been unpredictable in the past few years, this cannot be the reason for declining advance ticket sales because people still attended even in bad weather. Those that attended in bad weather probably only had two choices: attend the concert and suffer through the weather or stay at home, thus wasting the money that was spent on the tickets. Once they attended in the concert in bad weather and had a terrible time, it is likely that they decided that it was not worth it to buy tickets in advance and therefore decided to wait until the day of the show to purchase them in the future. Additionally, it does not follow that the decline is due to the choice of music at the concerts - there is no evidence presented that modern music would attract more advance or regular ticket purchasers or that Richerts' compositions would get more people to buy tickets in advance or attend the concerts. Simply because Glenville residents buy more Richerts recordings than any other contemporary recordings does not mean that they would like to see them performed at the Glenville Summer concert series; in fact, there may be more out-of-town residents that usually attend the concerts than Glenville residents. Again, the writer fails to address these factors in his or her argument.

In summary, the letter writer reaches his or her conclusions based on poorly interpreted information. Without providing direct evidence that the music included is to blame for the decline in advance ticket sales and that changing the music would increase those sales as well as overall attendance, the writer's argument ultimately fails to deliver on its premise.

(618 words)

参考译文

下述文字摘自一封致某地方报纸《格兰维尔报》编辑的信函：

"在过去的几年里，预购格兰维尔夏季系列音乐会门票的人数有所下跌，这说明社区的支持力度不够。尽管在过去的几年里天气变化出人意料，但是这并不是预购门票下跌的原因，因为许多人甚至在坏天气时照样去听音乐会。显然，下跌的原因在于对音乐的选择，所以音乐会的组织者在未来应该演奏更多的现代音乐，应该保证演奏里查兹谱写的乐曲，因为比起任何其他当代作曲家的唱片，格兰维尔的居民更经常地购买他的唱片。这一策略将保证增加门票的预购数，并将增加听音乐会的人数。"

这一论证陈述道，格兰维尔夏季系列音乐会预购门票的人数下降，论证者认为这表明社区的支持力度不够。论证者声称，坏天气不可能是人数下降的原因，因为尽管在过去的几年里天气变化出人意料，但是人们在出现坏天气时照样去听音乐会。论证者接着得出结论：问题在于对音乐的选择，应该演奏更为现代的音乐以及里查兹谱写的乐曲，因为格兰维尔的居民购买他的唱片比购买任何其他当代作曲家的唱片更为频繁，这样便能增加门票的预购数以及听音乐会的人数。这一论证缺乏说服力，因为论证者所得出的结论是基于错误的逻辑。

首先，信函作者声称预购音乐会门票的人数下跌表明社区的支持力度不够。单凭预购门票的下降，并不能完全说明社区的支持力度不够。很可能是因为预购门票没有什么益处。也可能与以往任何时候相比，更多的人会随时在售票处购票而不是预购门票来继续听音乐会。可能存在其他原因导致预购门票下降，而不是因为社区的支持力度不够。例如，过去，可能预购门票可以获得打折。或许过去有"遇雨取消"的规定，如果天气不好预售票持有者可以退票。这样的预售门票裨益的取消，可以解释预购门票人数下降的原因。倘若预购门票没有益处，也就没有理由让社区居民提前购票了。论证者没有把这些因素考虑在内，因此削弱了他/她的论证。

再者，信函作者说道，尽管在过去的几年中天气变幻无常，但这不能构成预售票下降的原因，因为人们在遇到坏天气时照样去听音乐会。那些在坏天气去听音乐会的人可能只有两个选择：去听音乐会并忍受坏天气，或者呆在家里并浪费门票钱。一旦他们在坏天气去听音乐会而且过得很不愉快，他们很可能会认为不值得提前买票，从而决定在将来要等到演出那天才去买票。此外，说预购门票数量的下降是由于音乐会对音乐的选择所造成的，这也没有道理--没有证据表明现代音乐会吸引更多的预购门票和普通门票的购买，或者说里查兹的曲目会让更多的人预购门票和听音乐会。只是因为格兰维尔居民购买里查兹的唱片比购买其他当代唱片多，并不能意味着他们喜欢看到他的这些音乐在格兰维尔夏季系列音乐会上被演出。实际上，经常性听音乐会的城外居民可能要比格兰维尔的居民来得多。信函作者又没能在其论证中探讨这些因素。 总之，信函作者只是凭借没有经过恰当解释的信息得出其结论。因为没有提供直接的证据证明音乐会所选择的曲目是预售票下降的原因，以及改变音乐会的曲目会增加预售票和听音乐会的人数，信函作者的论证最终无法自圆其说。