GRE作文范文 Argument-23

The following is a recommendation from the personnel director to the president of Acme Publishing Company.

嘉文博译Sample Essay

"One recent research study has indicated that many adolescents need more sleep than they are getting, and another study has shown that many high school students in our city are actually dissatisfied with their own academic performance. As a way of combating these problems, the high schools in our city should begin classes at 8:30 A.M. instead of 7:30 A.M., and end the school day an hour later. This arrangement will give students an extra hour of sleep in the morning, thereby making them more alert and more productive. Consequently, the students will perform better on tests and other assignments, and their academic skills will improve significantly."

In this argument, the letter writer argues that the high schools in his or her city should begin classes at 8:30 a.m. rather than 7:30 a.m. and end the school day an hour later. The writer cites as reasons two separate studies: one indicating that adolescents need more sleep than they have been getting and the other showing that many high school students in this city are dissatisfied with their academic performance. The writer further argues that starting classes an hour earlier will make students more alert and productive, thus leading to better performance on tests and other assignments with a significant improvement in academic skills. The argument sounds good, but it is based on problematic reasoning and is therefore unconvincing.

First of all, the writer is combining two separate and unrelated research studies to arrive at his or her conclusion. There is no correlation demonstrated between the two studies. The writer simply assumes the relationship between the two studies for the sake of his or her argument without any evidence that the two are in fact related.

Furthermore, the writer states that many high school students are dissatisfied with their own academic performance. The writer does not state the number of students that are actually dissatisfied - how many is "many"? It is only natural that unless the students are at the top of their classes and receiving perfect marks, they will be dissatisfied with their academic performance. Citing this rather vague idea of dissatisfaction with academic performance does not advance the writer's argument.

Additionally, by beginning classes an hour later, it may give the students an extra hour of sleep but it does not automatically mean that they will be more alert or productive. As just one example, the students may stay up an hour later at night and be just as tired and non-alert as they were when classes began at 7:30 a.m. Even assuming that the students would be more alert and productive during the day, this does not necessarily equate to better performance on tests or other assignments or any significant improvement in academic skills. It takes more work on the students' part than just being more alert and productive - they must study harder to improve academic performance. Starting the school day one hour later does not necessarily transform poorly performing students into brilliantly performing ones.

In summary, the writer's argument is based on faulty logic. Simply starting the school day one hour later does not mean that the students will do better on their exams and assignments or become more skilled academically. To strengthen the argument, the writer should provide evidence that the two studies are related, and that an extra hour of sleep in the morning would actually benefit the students in their studies. Without such proof, the writer is attempting to apply to separate and unrelated studies to the student's situation. The result is an unpersuasive argument, because it simply does not follow that beginning classes at 8:30 a.m. rather than 7:30 a.m. will make students more alert and productive. Even assuming that they would be more alert and productive, it again does not necessarily indicate that they would do better on tests and assignments, nor that they would significantly improve their academic skills.

(589 words)

参考译文

下述文字摘自一封致某家市报的信函：

"最近一项调查研究表明，许多青少年需要得到比他们现在更多的睡眠;另一项调查表明，我市许多高中生实际上对他们自己的学业并不满意。作为解决这些问题的方法，我市高中应该在上午8:30开始上课，晚一个小时放学。这一安排将在早晨给学生提供多一个小时的睡眠，从而使他们更精力充沛、学习更加有效。这样，学生将在考试和其他作业上表现得更好，他们的学业将会极大地改观。"

在这段论证中，信函作者说到，其市的高中应该在上午8:30而非7:30开始上课并推迟一小时放学。作者引用两个不相关的调查作为理由：一个调查表明青少年需要比他们实际睡眠时间更多的睡眠，另一项调查显示该市的许多高中生对他们的学业不满意。作者进一步声称，晚一个小时上课会使学生更精力充沛、学习更有效，从而使学生在考试和其他作业上表现更佳，会极大地增进学业。此论证听起来似乎合情合理，但是它的基础却是错误的推论，因而是不能令人信服的。 首先，作者把两个彼此分离的、没有联系的调查研究放在一起以便得出他/她的结论。作者没能在两项调查之间证明有任何的联系。作者只是假设了两者间存在着某种关系来支持他/她的论证，但并没有提出任何证据说明两者真有联系。 再者，作者说到，许多高中生对他们自己的学业不满意。作者并没有说明不满意的学生的数目--多少是"许多"呢?自然，除非学生在班里名列前茅而且成绩优秀，否则，他们都会对自己的学业不满意。引用这一含混不清的学业不满意作为例证，并不能增强作者的论点。

此外，晚一个小时上课，可以让学生多睡一小时，但这并不自然而然地意味着他们会更精力充沛或学习更有效率。例如，学生晚上晚睡一小时，他们就会与7:30上课时一样没精打采。即使我们假设学生在白天会更精力充沛、学习更有效率，但这并不必然等于他们会在考试和其他作业上做得更好，或者在学业上会有很大进步。要做到那些需要学生更多的付出，而不仅仅是更精力充沛、学习效率更高--他们必须更努力地学习来改进学业。晚一个小时上课并不必定能把表现不好的学生改变成表现优秀的学生。

总之，作者的论证是基于错误的逻辑。单单晚一个小时上课并不意味着学生在考试和做作业时会有更佳的表现，也并不意味着他们会在学业上更棒。要使其论证更有力度，作者应该提供证据证明这两项调查是相关的，以及早晨多睡一小时会有利于学生的学习。没有这样的证据，作者只是试图把彼此无关的调查研究强行应用于学生的实际境况。结果只能是一篇不能令人信服的论辩，因为它不能说明在8:30而不是在7:30上课将会使学生更精力充沛、学习效率更高。即使我们假定学生会更精力充沛、学习效率更高，那也并不能必然地说明他们在考试和作业上能更加出色，更不能说明他们可极大地改进学业。