英语GRE作文：点评一篇GRE 作文习作

       11.“And this illustrates how culture gap develops, in a much simpler process, of course. From the two reasons above, we can see the importance of encouraging people to study and seeking the meaningful similarities to cultural communications as well as individuals.” 本句中，“culture gap”应改成“cultural gap”；“to study and seeking”应改成“to study and (to) seek”；“the meaningful similarities to cultural communications as well as individuals”应改成“meaningful similarities to promote / facilitate communications between cultures as well as between individuals”。

　　12.“In conclusion, similarities and differences are both equally important and indispensable to our society.” “both”和“equally”存在重复，应删除“both”。

　　13．“Without differences and varieties, we risk of making a dull world, without diversity and variety.” “risk of doing sth.”用法有误，应改成“risk doing sth.”；此外，在“without diversity and variety”中“variety”属于重复，因为前面已经有“varieties”一词了。

　　14.“Without similarities and conformity, we risk ourselves of losing our willingness and ability to communicate efficiently between both individuals and different cultures. ” 句中，“conformity”一词常带有贬义色彩，表示“雷同，人云亦云式的顺从，因循守旧”等意思，这里改成“shared values”为好。“risk ourselves of losing”应改成“risk losing”，反身代词“ourselves”不必要。“efficiently”（效率高的）应改成“effectively”（有效地）；“between both individuals and different cultures”应改成“both between individuals and between cultures”。

　　15.“We should therefore get out to make apparent differences and personality on the foundamental basis of sharing and acknowledging the meaningful similarity between we human beings.” 这里，“get out to…”应改成“go all out to…”表示“全力以赴做某事”的意思，“make apparent differences and personality”应改成“strive for differences and individuality”，“foundamental”拼写有误，应改成“fundamental”，“similarity”应由单数改为复数；“between we human beings”应改成“between us human beings”，因为介词后面是不允许出现代词的主格的。

10-4: 改后稿

整篇文章经过修改、调整、润色后，全文如下：

Some people maintain that differences and individuality play a crucial role in our society in many　 aspects, whether in human thoughts, individual behavior, or group activities, for, amidst the increasing output in our society of both new high-tech products and elite people and groups, it is extremely necessary to stand out in order not to be obliterated in the sea of overwhelming similarities. On the other hand, there exists an opposite belief that assuming excessive differences from others can result in people’s failure to see meaningful similarities among related things. As far as I am concerned, however, pursuing differences or individuality and seeking similarities among apparently different entities are not necessarily mutually exclusive, and a combination of both can be possibly or necessarily realized if handled properly, which will considerably benefit our society with an appropriate proportion of each of them to maintain a state of balance or equilibrium.