新编大学英语第三册unit9 Text D: The Value of Friendship
UNIT 9 AFTER-CLASS READING 3; New College English (III)
The Value of Friendship
1 Friendship is both a source of pleasure and a component of good health. People who have close friends naturally enjoy their company. Of equal importance are the concrete emotional benefits they derive. When something sensational happens to us, sharing the happiness of the occasion with friends intensifies our joy. Conversely, in times of trouble and tension, when our spirits are low, unburdening our worries and fears to compassionate friends alleviates the stress. Moreover, we may even get some practical suggestions for solving a particular problem.
2 From time to time, we are insensitive and behave in a way that hurts someone's feelings. Afterward, when we feel guilty and discouraged, friends can reassure us. This positive interaction is therapeutic, and much less expensive than visits to a psychologist.
3 Adolescence and old age are the two stages in our lives when the need for friendship is crucial. In the former stage, teens are plagued by uncertainty and mixed feelings. In the latter stage, older people are upset by feelings of uselessness and insignificance. In both instances, friends can make a dramatic difference. With close friends in their lives, people develop courage and positive attitudes. Teenagers have the moral support to assert their individuality; the elderly approach their advanced years with optimism and an interest in life. These positive outlooks are vital to cope successfully with the crises inherent in these two stages of life.
4 Throughout life, we rely on small groups of people for love, admiration, respect, moral support, and help. Almost everyone has a "network" of friends: coworkers, neighbors, and schoolmates. While both men and women have such friends, evidence is accumulating that indicates men rarely make close friends. Men are sociable and frequently have numerous business acquaintances, golf buddies, and so on. However, friendship does not merely involve a sharing of activities; it is a sharing on a very personal level. Customarily, men have shied away from close relationships in which they confide in others. By bottling up their emotions, men deprive themselves of a healthy outlet for their negative feelings.
5 The picture is different among middle-class, middle-aged women. They tend to be more emotionally stable when they are upset because they vent feelings and concerns. They receive support and sympathy from close friends. In fact, being good at forming close friendships is a most valuable asset for widows. Having a few good friends makes the transition from living with a husband to living alone less lonely and frightening. Conversely, widowers whose sole confidants were their wives have greater difficulty adjusting, feel abandoned, and deteriorate physically more rapidly.
6 Because friendships enhance our lives, it is important to cultivate them. Unfortunately, it is somewhat difficult to make long-lasting close friends. People are mobile, and mobility puts a strain on friendships. Long distances between friends discourage intimacy. Long-distance telephone conversations are costly, and letter writing is not a firmly established habit. Divorce is also destructive to friendships. In many cases, when divorce occurs, friendships disintegrate because couples usually prefer to associate with other couples.
7 People choose some friends because they are fun to be with; they "make things happen." Likewise, common interests appear to be a significant factor in selecting friends. Families with children, for instance, tend to be strongly attracted to families with children. It is normal to befriend people who have similar lifestyles, and organizations such as Parents Without Partners have appeared on the scene as a natural outgrowth of this tendency. These groups provide an opportunity to socialize, make new acquaintances and friends, or obtain helpful advice in adapting smoothly to a new lifestyle. Other groups focus on a specific interest such as camping or politics. It is perfectly acceptable to select friends for special qualities as long as there is a balanced giving and taking that is mutually satisfying.
8 Very close and trusted friends share confidences candidly. They feel secure that they will not be ridiculed or laughed at, and their confidences will be honored. Betraying a trust is a very quick and painful way to terminate a friendship.
9 As friendships solidify, ties strengthen. Intimate relationships enrich people's lives. Some components of a thriving friendship are honesty, naturalness, thoughtfulness, and some common interests.
10 Circumstances and people are constantly changing. Some friendships last "forever"; others do not. Nevertheless, friendship is an essential ingredient in the making of a healthful, rewarding life.
