The Wedding Dance
The hand that clasps mine is not that of the child I can still remember,but that of the man he has become.From that hand to his face to the smile he beams at me,he is his father in days gone by.We move gracefully across the floor as his young bride looks on.My new daughter.Oh,how the years have passed.It seems I didn't even notice.One day,I held a squalling infant in my exhausted arms and counted tiny pink fingers and toes.The next,I'm no longer the most important woman in his life.
An effortless spin1) and he's taking me across the floor with a flare2) like his father's.I wonder if he's looking down on us at this moment as my son' s eyes sparkle3) with his mischief4).Suddenly,I'm bent back-ward and laughing like a girl half my age,my young rogue leaning over me and guests applauding.He kisses my cheek and spins me upright a gain.The regretful tears of the past threaten my eyes.
No,they are not regretful tears.I have no regrets where this boy--this man--is concerned.He has been,and always will be,my pure joy.Time cannot wipe away the sadness and heartache,but there was never regret.Heartache comes with having children as it does with being alive.If my son is all he wants to be,I have no regrets.
As the music slows,his mood seems to waver.Knowing that if I see any of what I'm feeling in his eyes I will surely cry,I move into his arms and rest my head on his strong shoulder.A hush has descended on the entire room;not even the babies are fussing.The gentle piano guides us around the floor,passed faces that have always been near,and new ones destined for the same.Their smiles bring one to my face as I realize this is not a day for tears.The hand against my back gives me a squeeze.It is a most subtle5) gesture to let me know my new daughter's turn to care for him has come.
It is not a day for tears,but they threaten nonetheless6).I sigh and touch his smooth cheek,seeing the face of a baby,child,teen,and man.Is this day so difficult for all mothers?I can't help wondering.As the music switches with ease to the one he chose to dance to with his bride,I turn and find her shy face with my other hand.I can't speak to either,but I know that my heart is in my eyes as each receives my kiss.
Walking to the edge of the floor,I suddenly realize I do have one regret today.I regret that my husband is not here to hold my hand.
□by Melissa K.Beynon
婚 礼 之 舞
握着我手的这只手不再属于我记忆中的那个孩子了,他如今已长大成人。不论是他的手、他的脸、还是他的微笑,都令我感到阵阵暖意。随着时光流逝,他越发像他的父亲了。我俩优雅地翩翩起舞,而他年轻的新娘则站在一旁瞧着我们。哦,我有了一个新的女儿。日子过得真快。不知不觉地恍若隔世。那天我还用疲惫的臂膀怀抱一个哇哇啼哭的婴儿,数着他粉嫩的手指和脚趾;如今,我却已不再是他生活中最重要的人了。
一个轻松的旋转,接着他带我大步舞动起来,就像他父亲当年一样。此时此刻,我儿子的眼里闪动着当年他父亲的那份顽皮,我不知他父亲是否正注视着我们。猛然,我被拦腰仰面向下折弯,接着我像一个小我一半岁数的女孩儿一样开怀大笑起来。我的小调皮鬼顺势俯身贴近我,这招来满堂的喝彩。他在我的面颊上吻了一下,然后猛地又将我扶正。这时,往昔一种遗憾的泪水几乎要夺眶而出。
不,这不是遗憾的泪水。对这个男孩儿,不,对这位男士,我没有什么可遗憾的。他一直,也将永远会是我纯粹的快乐。时间洗刷不了悲伤与心酸,但是永远不会存在后悔。有孩子就会有伤心;就如同活着就会有伤心一样。假如我的儿子心想事成,我便无怨无悔。
舞曲放慢了节奏,儿子的情绪似乎也开始摇摆不定。假若在他的眼神中我看到他已看出我此时心中某种感受的话,我会哭出声的。一想到这里,我情不自禁地把身子投入他的怀中,头倚着他强壮的肩膀。整个大厅这时一片安静,即使婴儿也不再出声了。轻柔的钢琴曲带着我们翩跹于大厅之中。一张张面孔离我们越来越近,随着又迅速离去。他们的微笑使一张面孔映入我眼中,我同时意识到今天不是哭泣的日子。儿子的手在我的后腰上压了一下---这一微妙的姿势暗示着我照顾儿子的任务将从此由我的新女儿接替了。
今天不是哭泣的日子,可却令我发慌。我轻叹了一声,用手抚摸着他平滑的面颊,我看到了那张脸由婴儿,到儿童,到少年,再到成人的变化。这一天对所有母亲来讲是否都是难过的一天?我不禁这样想到。当音乐慢慢地变成儿子特意为与新娘共舞而挑选的舞曲时,我转过了身,将另一只手放在了她羞涩的脸上。我对谁也说不出什么,但是当我亲吻他俩时,我的眼神传递了我的心意。
在走向舞池一角时,我猛然意识到我的确有种遗憾。我是在为自己的丈夫不能在此紧握我的手而遗憾。
NOTE 注释:
1. spin [spin] n. 旋转
2. flare [flZE] n. 闪光, 闪耀
3. sparkle [5spB:kl] v. 用眼神表达
4. mischief [5mistFif] n. 恶作剧, 淘气
5. subtle [5sQtl] adj. 敏感的, 微妙的, 精细的
6. nonetheless [nQnTE5les] =nevertheless adv. 尽管如此;仍然