双语 ● Hello, 6-year-old Child　你好，6岁的朋友

Hello, 6-year-old Child　你好，6岁的朋友

◎ Amy Ozols

Seeing as how fate has brought us together here, in the crowded coach section of this expensive airplane, I thought I should introduce myself.

既然命运让我们在这架豪华飞机上拥挤的二等舱里相遇，我想我有必要介绍一下自己。

My name is Amy, and I’m an adult. I suspect that you’re too young to understand what “adult” means, so let me explain. It means that I’m taller than you, and smarter, and that I get to do lots of awesome things, like smoke cigarettes and ovulate It also means that I like to take naps on airplanes and read my newspaper in silence. These things seem to be very different from the things that you like to do.

我叫艾米，是一个大人。我猜你还小，不明白什么是“大人”，那就让我解释一下吧！它的意思就是：我比你高，比你聪明，而且我做了很多可怕的事情，例如抽烟和排卵。当然它也意味着我喜欢在飞机上小憩，或者静静地看报纸。看样子，你喜欢做的事情和以上这些是大不相同的。

I’ve gleaned from its near-constant utterance by the woman sitting next to you—your mother, I suppose, or perhaps a social worker or a federal prisoner who’s being paid to spend time with you—that your name is Timmy. It’s probably Timothy, actually, but people call you Timmy because it’s cuter. Which is appropriate, Timmy, because you’re very cute, you really are.

我从坐在你身边的那位妇女——我猜是你的母亲，或者也许只是别人花钱雇来陪你玩的社工或联邦囚犯——口中得知，你的名字叫蒂米。我不敢确定，也许你的真名叫蒂莫西，只是人们觉得蒂米这个名字更可爱，于是就这样叫你了吧！这个名字的确很适合你，因为你真的很可爱。

I’m going to drink this cup of coffee—would you like some? I didn’t think so. You’re more of a juice-box man, from what I gather. The way I gather this is by looking at the stain on my ninety-eight-dollar pants, the one you made when you put your juice box there. If I touched your pants, Timmy, I would probably be sent to jail. There are lots of differences between you and me, but that’s one of the big ones: the quality and the seriousness of what happens when we touch other people’s pants.

我要喝咖啡了，你想来一杯吗？我想你不会喜欢咖啡的。据我观察，你最多只喝果汁。那么，我是怎样得出这个结论呢？我注意到我那条价值98美金的裤子上有一个污点，那是你把果汁盒放在上面时留下的痕迹。蒂米，如果我碰到你的裤子，我很可能会被关进监狱。你我之间有太多不同，其中一个最大的不同就是：当我们碰到其他人的裤子时，我会受到责骂，而你不会。

You’re not much of a sleeper, are you, Timmy? We’ve just met, but it seems to me like maybe you don’t really enjoy sleeping all that much. In fact, it seems to me that one of your greatest joys in life is wakefulness—and not simply passive wakefulness but the kind of vigorous wakefulness that makes a person like me start to question the very possibility of silence as a condition that can exist in the universe. I can see that I’ve confused you, Timmy, and I apologize; I was only trying to point out that you really seem to enjoy being awake. Let me make it up to you by giving you this modest dose of Ambien. It’s a kind of candy for your soul. Your soul is a kind of mouth that’s inside your brain.

蒂米，你不大喜欢睡觉，是吧？虽然我们刚认识，可在我看来，你并不把睡觉当作一种享受。事实上，你人生中的最大乐趣之一就是醒着。你醒着，不是消极地，而是精力旺盛地。于是，像我这样的人便开始质疑——在宇宙中生存的条件真的是沉默吗？蒂米，我知道我让你困惑了，我向你道歉。我只是想说你真的很享受醒着的每分每秒。让我为你适当地开一些安眠药吧！它就像是为你的心灵准备的糖果，而你的心灵就是大脑的嘴巴。

Here comes the nice stewardess lady with a bag for collecting people’s garbage. Would you like me to give her some of the garbage that’s strewn all over your seat—and, if we’re being perfectly honest here, Timmy, all over my seat as well? And, while we’re at it, maybe I could give her this talking doll—the one that sings songs, very loud songs, songs of terrifying and ungodly volume, from that animated movie about adventurous insects. It’s not that I don’t love the doll; it’s just that I’m pretty sure it’s illegal for children to carry such things on airplanes. Have you heard of terrorism, Timothy? That’s why it’s illegal for you to have this doll.

迎面走来一位拿着塑料袋的女服务员，她正在收拾垃圾。你要不要把自己座位上的那些垃圾交给她呢？蒂米，不如我们诚实一点，把我座位上的那些也交给她吧？也许我该把那个会说话的布娃娃——大声唱着热门电影昆虫历险记里的主题曲，声音还大得惊人的娃娃——交给她。我这么做只是觉得儿童携带这样的东西上飞机是不合规定的，并不是因为我不喜欢那个布娃娃。蒂莫西，你听说过恐怖主义吗？这就是为什么不允许你把这个布娃娃带上飞机的原因。

Your whimpering and your dripping facial parts suggest that perhaps this conversation has run its course, so I’ll let you get back to your finger painting, your fidgeting, and your wanton, inexplicable shredding of the in-flight magazine. I’ll be here in my seat, fantasizing about hurtling my childless adult body out of the airplane and into the sky. Enjoy the rest of the flight, Timmy. I’ve really enjoyed sitting next to you. It’s fun to make new friends.

你脸上的泪滴表明，或许这次谈话起作用了。所以，我让你回去继续你的手指画，你的好动，你的任性，你无理取闹地将飞机内的杂志撕毁。我则安坐在我的座位上，幻想着那个幼稚的我能够在飞机外的天空中奔跑。蒂米，好好享受接下来的旅程吧！很高兴能够坐在你旁边。结交新朋友真是一件有趣的事情。

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