职场笑话：8、 You vs your boss 你和你的上司

8. You vs your boss

When you take a long time, you're slow. When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough.

When you don't do it, you're lazy. When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.

When you make a mistake, you're an idiot1. When your boss makes a mistake, he's only human.

When doing something without being told, you're overstepping your authority2. When your boss does the same thing, that's initiative3.

When you take a stand4, you're being bull-headed5.When your boss does it, he's being firm.

When you please your boss, you're arse-creeping6. When your boss pleases his boss, he's being co-operative.

When you're out of the office, you're wandering around.

When your boss is out of the office, he's on business.

When you're on a day off sick, you're always sick. When your boss is a day off sick, he must be very ill.

When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview. When your boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked.

Notes:

1. idiot 蠢货

2. overstep one's authority 超越权限

3. initiative 创造性

4. take a stand 表态，表明立场

5. bull-headed 固执

6. arse-creeping 拍马屁

你和你的上司

当你做事花费很长时间时，你是效率低；当你的上司做事花费很长时间时，他是精益求精、尽善尽美。

当你不做这件事时，你是懒惰；当你的上司不做这件事时，他是太忙了。

当你犯错误时，你是傻瓜；当你的上司犯错误时，他终究是人啊（人总会犯错误的）。

当你不经同意就做某事时，你是越权；而你的上司做同样的事情时，那叫有创造性。

当你坚持己见时，你是固执；当你的上司这样做时，他是坚定不移。

当你取悦你的上司时，你是在拍马屁；而你的上司取悦他的老板时，那叫团结协作。

当你在办公室外被人看到时，你是四处闲逛；当你的上司在办公室外被人看到时，他是在出差忙业务。

当你请了一天病假时，你这个人怎么老请病假；当你的上司请了一天病假时，他的病一定很重。

当你申请离职时，你一定是去别处应聘求职了；当你的上司申请离职时，那是因为他工作过量了。

Useful link:

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