双语笑话：变味的结婚誓言

Wedding Vow Bribe

During the wedding rehearsal，the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer.“Look，I’ll give you$100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to me and the part where I’m to promise to ‘love，honor and obey’and ‘forsaking all others，be faithful to her forever，’I’d appreciate it if you’d just leave that part out.”He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied.

It was now the day of the wedding，and the bride and groom have moved to that part of the ceremony where the vows are exchanged. When it came time for the groom’s vows，the pastor looked at the young man in the eye and said，“Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her，obey her every command and wish，serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman，as long as you both shall live？”

The groom gulped and looked around，and said in a tiny voice，“Yes.”The groom leaned toward the pastor and hissed，“I thought we had a deal.”

The pastor put the $100 bill into his hand and whispered back，“She made me a much better offer.”

变味的结婚誓言

在婚礼彩排的时候，新郎走到牧师跟前，向他提出了一个不同寻常的要求。

“瞧，这里有一百美元，我准备给你，但你得改一改结婚誓词。当轮到我宣誓时，你要把誓词里的那段‘你愿意爱她，尊重她，依顺她吗’和‘你愿意抛弃其他所有的人，只对她永远忠实吗’这些删去。”新郎说着递给了牧师一百美元，满意地离开了。

婚礼的当天，新郎和新娘开始交换结婚誓言。轮到新郎宣誓时，牧师看了他一眼，道：“你愿意服从于你的新娘，顺从她的每一个要求和愿望，并且在你有生之年每天服侍她在床上吃早餐吗？你愿意在上帝和你心爱的新娘面前发誓在你们的有生之年，你将永远不再看别的女人吗？”

新郎吃了一惊，看了看四周，小声说道：“我愿意。”接着他靠近牧师，轻轻说道：“我想你答应过我的。”

牧师把一百美元塞到他手里，耳语道：“因为她给我的钱多得多。”