美国流行笑话：Where did you get that haircut 你在哪里理的发

148　Where did you get that haircut 你在哪里理的发

Bob walked into Mike's Barber Shop for his regular haircut. Mike asks, “What's up?” Bob proceeds to explain he's taking a vacation to Rome. “ROME?” Mike says, “Why would you want to go there? It's a crowded dirty city full of Italians! You'd be crazy to go to Rome! So how Ya getting there?” “We're taking TWA,” Bob replies. “TWA?” yells Mike. “They're a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly and they're always late! So where you staying in Rome?” Bob says, “We'll be at the downtown International Marriot.” “That DUMP?” says Mike. “That's the worst hotel in the city! The rooms are small, the service is surly and slow and they're overpriced! So whatcha doing when you get there?” Bob says, “We're going to go see the Vatican and hope to see the Pope.” “HA! That's rich!” laughs Mike, “You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on THIS trip. You're going to need it!”

A month later, Bob comes in for his regular haircut. Mike says, “Well, how did that trip to Rome turn out? Betcha TWA gave you the worst flight of your life!” “No, quite the opposite” explained Bob. “Not only were we on time in one of their brand new planes, but it was full and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a beautiful 28 year old flight attendant who waited on me hand and foot!” “Well, I bet the hotel was just like I described.” “No, quite the opposite! They'd just finished a $25 million remodeling. It's the finest hotel in Rome, now. They were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us the Presidential suite for no extra charge!” “Well,” Mike mumbles, “I KNOW you didn't get to see the Pope!” “Actually, we were quite lucky. As we toured the Vatican, a Swiss guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained the Pope likes to personally meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into this private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, after 5 minutes the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand. I knelt down as he spoke a few words to me.” Impressed, Mike asks, “Tell me, please! What'd he say?” “Oh, not much really. Just ‘Where did you get that awful haircut?’”

鲍勃到麦克的理发店剪头。麦克问他：“有什么新鲜事？”鲍勃说他要到罗马去度假。麦克说：“罗马？你为什么要到罗马去？那是一个又脏又挤、满是意大利人的城市。你一定是发疯了才要到罗马去。那么你们怎么去呢？”鲍勃说：“我们乘TWA去。”“TWA！”麦克大喊起来，“那是糟透了的航空公司。他们的飞机陈旧，空中小姐都很丑，他们还老是晚点。那么你们到罗马住哪里呢？”鲍勃说：“我们要住在罗马市中心国际万豪酒店。”麦克说：“那个垃圾？那是罗马最糟的酒店！房间小，服务又慢又生硬，价钱还忒贵。那么你们在罗马要干什么呢？”鲍勃说：“我们要去梵蒂冈，希望能见到教皇。”“哈！够劲儿的。”麦克大笑起来，“你和成千上万的人挤着去看他。他看起来就像蚂蚁那么大一点儿。乖乖，祝你一路交好运。你会需要好运的。”

一个月以后，鲍勃又到麦克的理发店剪头。麦克问他：“你的罗马旅行怎么样？我敢打赌TWA是你这辈子飞过的最差航线了吧？”鲍勃解释说：“不，恰恰相反。我们不但坐了他们的新飞机，飞行正点，而且因为满员，让我们免费升级到一等舱。食物和酒都很棒。而且有一位28岁的漂亮空中小姐尽心尽意地为我服务。”“那么我敢打赌，旅馆一定像所我说的那样糟。”“不，恰恰相反。他们刚刚完成了2500万美元的装修，现在是罗马最好的旅馆了。他们的客房预定过了头。所以向我们道歉，让我们免费升级到总统套房。”麦克喃喃地说：“嗯，我知道你们没有见到教皇。”“事实上，我们非常幸运。我们在梵蒂冈观光的时候，一位瑞士卫兵拍拍我的肩膀，向我解释说教皇愿意单独会见一些观光客。如果我肯赏光到教皇的房间等候，教皇会单独会见我。确实，五分钟以后教皇从门里出来和我握手。我跪下来。他对我说了几个字。”麦克的心被打动了，说：“快告诉我，他说什么了？”鲍勃说：“哦，没说多少。他只是问我这么难看的头发是在哪里理的。”