成长的烦恼第三季Growing Pains 309

Friend #1: Hi Carol!
Carol: Hi.
Friend #2: Wanna come with us to watch the basketball team workout?
Carol: Why would I want to do that?
Friend #1: Tall, tall guys in teeny-weeny shorts?
Friend #2: Gluteus to the maximus, if you get my meaning.
Carol: Uh, sorry, I can’t. I’m helping Bobby study for an English test.
Friend #1 and #2: Whoop-de-do.
Friend #2: Carol, when you and Bobby started going out we had great hope for you.
Friend #1: Great hope!
Friend #2: But your relationship has turned into something disgustingly boring.
Carol: Boring, huh? Well, just because we don’t run around here like teenagers, doesn’t mean
that underneath there’s not a seething river of white, hot passion.
Bobby: Yo, Carol! Look, I’m sorry I’m late, but I can’t study right now. I owe Coach Lump
some power squats. But I’ll study at your house after football practice, ok?
Carol: Sure.
Bobby: Kiss!
Carol: Kiss!
Friend #1: Is that sick or what?
Friend #2: Carol, admit it. The river of passion has dried up like my mother’s skin.
Carol: Well, it’s obvious that neither one of you have ever been involved in a mature, lasting
relationship.
Friend #1: Who’d want to be?
Carol: So how could you possibly understand that Bobby and I are different? We’re not into
that typical flirty, giggling kind of teenage fling. We’re building something lasting and good.
And even if Mr. Perfect were to walk up to me right now, I’d say, ‘I’m taken.’
Jeffrey: Oh, excuse me.
Carol: No, it’s my fault.
Jeffrey: Could you tell me where the biology lab is? I’m new.
Carol: I’m taken.
[Next scene]
Jeffrey: Not only was I born in Salinas, but I lived there all my life. So when my dad
announced that we were moving, it was quite a shock.
Carol: I’ll bet.
Jeffrey: Change is good, right? I mean, who wants life to be the same, day after day after
day?
Carol: Not me.
Jeffrey: New places, new adventures.
Carol: New people.
Jeffrey: Yea, chance at the unexpected.
Carol: Yea. Yea, well, this is my house.
Jeffrey: No kidding! I’m just down the road a couple of blocks!
Carol: Really?
Jeffrey: It’s gotta be fate.
Carol: Must be.
Jeffrey: So, uh, maybe we can walk to school together sometimes?
Carol: Well, uh, I usually ride the bus or my brother takes me… We could do that.
Jeffrey: You know, this has been a pretty good first day at my new school. Geez, I sound like
James Dean in Rebel Without A Cause.
Carol: Where he met Natalie Wood!
Jeffrey: Yea!
Carol: Yea!
Jeffrey: Only she wasn’t as nice to him as you’ve been to me.
Carol: Well, how could she be? I mean, she was going steady with Buzz. At that point in the
movie she had no idea that, that James Dean was fated to be her soul mate, her… Boy, was
Natalie a dunce.
Jason: Ben, what are you doing?
Ben: Watching Carol flirt with some guy and he’s not Bobby.
Jason: Well, that’s not of your bus… What guy?
Ben: I don’t know, but I think he’s a little weird.
Jason: Why?
Ben: He’s interested in Carol.
Jason: Didn’t I tell you to stay away from that window? Besides, your sister is not the type
who flirts.
Ben: They all are, Dad. Wait ‘til I tell Bobby.
Jason: Ben…
Ben: Yea, yea, yea.
Jeffrey: Well, if I’m gonna get to the library, I better get going.
Carol: Yea. I gotta go, too. Lots to do.
Jeffrey: Thanks, Carol. And for what it’s worth, I’m really glad I bumped into you today.
Mike: Yo, Carol!
Carol: Bobby! Mike, you were spying on me!
Mike: Me? Oh, no, no, Carol. I didn’t hear a word the guy said including, ‘And for what it’s
worth, I’m really glad I bumped into you today.’
Carol: You are so gross. You are so indescribably low.
Mike: Oh? Oh, maybe, would you say as low as somebody who would two-time their
boyfriend?
Carol: Just because I extend my hand in friendship to a new student on his first day of school
is no reason to think that I’m, I’m, I’m interested in him.
Mike: So, does Bobby know you stutter when you lie?
Carol: I do not!
[Next scene]
Maggie: Carol, honey, are you forgetting about Bobby?
Carol: I am not forgetting about Bobby. I was just being friendly. What is with you people?
Maggie: Carol, honey, I just meant Bobby’s waiting downstairs to study with you.
Carol: Oh, yea.
Maggie: Carol, is everything ok?
Carol: Mom, do you believe in fate?
Maggie: Fate?
Carol: Well, you know, that there are these inexorable forces that can push us towards certain
things and we’re powerless to stop them?
Maggie: What, uh, things?
Carol: Uh, let me put this another way, Mom. Ok, alright, alright. Let’s say you’re out for a
walk, ok? And you pass a shoe store, ok? And we’ll say the mall. Now in this shoe store you
see this really hot looking pair of shoes. Now you really don’t need new shoes, I mean, your
old ones are very comfortable and fine and you wouldn’t have even thought about getting a
new pair except that fate brought you to this store, with this window, and these shoes…
standing right there looking so sexy and right. Uh, what would you do, Mom?
Maggie: What color are these shoes?
Carol: Mom, color doesn’t matter.
Maggie: Well, of course the color matters. If you have to buy a new dress to go with them,
it’s…
Carol: Mom! Mom! They’re the right color, the perfect color and style.
Maggie: Ok, are they on sale?
Carol: Never mind, Mom.
[Next scene]
Friend #1: He’s cracking his knuckles again. How gross.
Friend #2: So what? This is what building a mature, long lasting relationship is all about.
Friend #1: Oh, yea, I forgot. Well, Carol will probably get used to it after they’ve been
together for about twenty or thirty years.
Carol: Would you stop that please?
Bobby: What?
Carol: Cracking your knuckles.
Bobby: Oh, I didn’t even know I was doing it.
Friend #2: Ok, he’s not perfect.
Friend #1: He’s no James Dean.
Friend #2: What matters here isn’t a few annoying little habits like cracking his knuckles,
breathing through his nose, scratching himself, hit and miss personal hygiene…
Friend #1: Don’t they shower after football practice?
Friend #2: What matters is what’s beneath the surface. Bobby here is someone intelligent you
can talk to.
Bobby: You know, I don’t get this Scarlet Letter garbage at all. I mean, if I was this Hester
chick, I’d rip off the A and stuff it in the mouth of any guy who got smart. Boy, this Nate
Hawthorne guy is a major ying yang, you know what I mean?
Carol: Uh, yea, yea. Yes I do.
Friend #2: I wonder what that cute transfer student is doing right now?
Friend: #1: You mean James Dean?
Friend #2: No, his name is Jeffrey.
Bobby: Hey, what do you say we got to a movie tomorrow night?
Friend #2: Forget Jeff. He may be perfect but Carol’s already taken by a guy who’s completely
reliable and predictable.
Bobby: Carol?
Carol: Oh, uh, what word don’t you know?
Bobby: No, I wanted to know if you wanted to go to a movie tomorrow night.
Carol: Well, gee, we never go to the movies on weeknights.
Bobby: So? Do we have to do the same thing day after day, day in, day out?
Carol: No.
Bobby: So, let’s get crazy!
Carol: Well, ok, yea! You know, you know, maybe we could rent something. I’m really in the
mood to see a James Dean movie.
Bobby: James Dean! I like him!
Carol: Oh, you do?
Bobby: Heck, yea! So he acts when he’s not cranking out sausages, huh?
[Next scene]
Jeffrey: Carol!
Carol: Bobby! Where have you… Oh, hi.
Jeffrey: You are not gonna believe this. On my way to the library yesterday, I passed that
revival movie theatre and guess what was playing?
Carol: What?
Jeffrey: Rebel Without A Cause.
Carol: No!
Jeffrey: Yea, isn’t that incredible?
Carol: Must be fate.
Jeffrey: So I was thinking, maybe we could go tonight.
Carol: Go out with you? Well, I really don’t… Go out with you, huh?
Friend #2: Carol, you said it. It’s fate!
Friend #1: Don’t try to fight it.
Friend #2: Dust Bobby! Go for it!
Friend #1 and #2: Go for it! Go for it! Go for it!
Carol: Go for it!
[Next scene]
Jeffrey: Pick you up at seven.
Bobby: Yo, Carol! Sorry!
Carol: Bobby! Where have you been? I didn’t think you were coming.
Bobby: Well, you know me, Carol. I’m always late.
Carol: Exactly.
Bobby: Well, what is that supposed to mean?
Carol: There’s no reason to yell.
Bobby: I’m not yelling.
Carol: If you’re going to carry on this way, it’s only going to embarrass us both.
Bobby: Huh?
Carol: If you can be so inconsiderate of me, it can only mean one thing.
Bobby: What’s that?
Carol: You’re tired of me.
Bobby: I’m tired of you?
Carol: Oh, so you don’t deny it!
Bobby: Deny what?
Carol: I suppose next you’re going to say you want to break up with me.
Bobby: Wait a minute here. What’s going on? Why you acting like this?
Carol: Oh, so childish to blame me.
Bobby: Oh, there’s something going on. You got another guy or what?
Carol: Oh. You have to drag this into the gutter don’t you?
Bobby: Drag what?
Carol: I suppose next you’re going to say you want to break up with me, huh?
Bobby: I don’t want to break up with you.
Carol: Well, neither do I! But, but under the circumstances I do think it would be a good idea
for both of us to see a little less of each other.
Bobby: Ok, ok, fine. If that’s the way you want it. We’ll break up! Fine!
Carol: Fine! But just remember, breaking up was your idea!
Friend #2: Carol!
Friend #1: What is going on with you and Bobby?
Carol: As if you didn’t know.
[Next scene]
Maggie: I did not say you were insensitive to Carol.
Jason: Oh, no, no, no. You said, ‘Honey, couldn’t you muster a little sympathy for our
heartbroken daughter?’
Maggie: Yes, after what this jock did to her.
Jason: Honey, she didn’t say that he dumped her. She said they broke up.
Maggie: And you believed her.
Jason: You know what I think? I think that you’re just getting swept up in all the melodrama.
Maggie: Melodrama? Jason, our innocent little girl takes one tentative step into the tumultuous
world of dating only to have it chopped off!
Jason: I really don’t think Carol has lost a limb.
Maggie: Ok, this time I will say it. You are insensitive.
Jason: Well, I’m sorry. I didn’t notice Carol was all that broken up.
Maggie: She was covering. Jason don’t you know anything about women?
Jason: No.
Maggie: Bobby was her first boyfriend, her first real love.
Jason: I know.
Maggie: You know what I think? I think when Carol told us they broke up she was lying. I
think Bobby dumped her.
Jason: You do?
Maggie: And you’re happy about it.
Jason: Honey, do I look happy?
Maggie: Jason, how many times have you said that Carol should not be going steady with the
first guy she ever dated?
Jason: And you agreed with me.
Maggie: Of course I did.
Jason: Well, then, you think it’s good that they’re not together?
Maggie: No!
Jason: Oh, so you prefer that Carol and Bobby were together for the rest of their lives so Carol
wouldn’t meet any other guys and she’d never have a chance to broaden her horizons?
Maggie: Oh, of course not!
Jason: Maggie, I’m getting very confused with this conversation.
Maggie: Well, obviously!
Jason: Well, maybe I am insensitive! Maybe she’s nuts!
[Next scene]
Carol: Come in.
Maggie: Honey, I know exactly what you’re feeling. I’m a woman, too.
Carol: I know that.
Maggie: All I can say is the hurt will fade with each passing day it’ll easier and easier to forget
him.
Carol: Who?
Maggie: Bobby.
Carol: Oh, yea.
Maggie: Honey, I want to tell you a story about my first love and how he broke my heart and I
ended up stronger for…
Carol: Mom, is this a long story?
Maggie: No, no, not really.
Carol: ‘Cause I have a date.
Maggie: Good because it’s important for you to realize there are so many other boys out there
and you have a date?
[Next scene]
Jason: Hey, I decided you were right. I should let Carol know that I hurt for her, too.
Maggie: Why?
Jason: Pardon me?
Maggie: She doesn’t need you to cheer her up. She’s got a date!
Jason: Oh, with Bobby?
Maggie: Of course not! She dumped Bobby!
Jason: I thought Bobby dumped her.
Maggie: Jason, how many times do I have to go over this?
Jason: Oh, just one more.
[Next scene]
Natalie Wood: Is this what’s it like to love somebody?
James Dean: I don’t know.
Natalie Wood: What kind of a person do you think a girl wants?
James Dean: A man.
Natalie Wood: Yes, but a man who can be gentle and sweet, like you are.
Carol: Oh, gosh, do I love this movie.
Jeffrey: It’s even better seeing it with you.
Carol: Thanks. Jeff, Jeff, Jeff. We should watch the movie. Ok?
Jeffrey: Alright.
Carol: No, Jeff. I’m serious.
Jeffrey: What’s with you?
Carol: What do you mean?
Jeffrey: I know you like me. You wouldn’t have dumped your boyfriend if you didn’t.
Carol: I didn’t dump… Wait, how did you know I was going with Bobby?
Jeffrey: I don’t know. Heard it around school.
Carol: So you knew that when you asked me out?
Jeffrey: Sure.
Carol: Why didn’t you say something?
Jeffrey: Why didn’t you?
Carol: I don’t know.
Jeffrey: See? You didn’t want that to stand in our way anymore than I did. I knew exactly
what I wanted from the moment I decided to bump into you at your locker.
Carol: Really? But I thought it was fate that brought us together.
Jeffrey: It was.
Carol: But, you just said you planned our meeting.
Jeffrey: Ok, I did plan it. A guy cannot depend on mere fate when he’s trying to meet the
most popular girl in school.
Carol: What? What makes you think that I’m that?
Jeffrey: The girl who goes with the captain of the football team is always the most popular girl
in school.
Carol: But I’m not the most popular girl in school, not even close! That’s not me at all!
Jeffrey: Why are you getting so excited?
Carol: I’m not sure. This just isn’t exactly what I thought it would be like at all.
Jeffrey: Well, what did you expect?
Carol: Something, something like up on that screen. Something meant to be. Something
destined. See, I thought that you came out of the blue and that you were so right. And it was
not just some accident that we met but that it was fate. But it wasn’t. You were just scheming
because you thought that I was popular.
Jeffrey: Hey, come on! Look, we’re here together at a great movie. So we both schemed a
little bit to get here. So what? What matters is that I’m a lot better for you than what’s his
name.
Carol: His name is Bobby and he doesn’t flinch when I do that to him.
Audience: Shhh!
Carol: Shh, yourselves!
[Next scene]
Maggie: Ok, here she comes. You want to talk to her?
Jason: Well, I think both of us would be a bit much.
Maggie: Right. You handle it.
Jason: What?
Maggie: Hello! Jason!
Jason: Yes, well, Carol, I think that we should have a little talk about this whole situation with
Bobby.
Carol: Bobby? The situation with Bobby? I blew it! Carol Seaver the girl who’s supposed to be
so smart, just lost the only guy she’s ever cared about because she treated him like dirt! I was
mean and I was selfish. That’s the situation with Bobby.
Jason: Aw, honey, I didn’t…
Maggie: Jason, I didn’t say to browbeat her.
[Next scene]
Bobby: Carol, what’re you…
Carol: Bobby, honey, before you say anything. I just want to apologize for my obnoxious
behavior yesterday. I am so…
Friend #1: Hi, Carol.
Carol: Hi. What?
Bobby: Carol, you were absolutely right about seeing other people.
Friend #1: We better get to class, Bobby, honey.
Bobby: She won’t let me be late.
Carol: This is not happening.
[Next scene]
Jason: No, no. Truth is, Ben, even I don’t understand women.
Carol: Dad, I would like to thank you for allowing me to blunder my way into an even bigger
mistake that’s virtually ruined my entire life.
Jason: What happened?
Carol: After all that Bobby and I have meant to each other he dumps me for that airhead
Debbie, a girl that he hardly even knows, Dad. Can you believe that?
Jason: Well, you know…
Ben: Isn’t that exactly what you did to Bobby?
Jason: I think maybe Ben has a point.
Carol: You do?
Ben: Yup, he do.
[Next scene]
Bobby: You sure she’s not home?
Mike: Yea, yea, look, if she was, she’d be sitting there on the couch, doing her stupid
homework, making me look bad.
Bobby: Look, Mike. I just want to get my stuff and get out of here.
Mike: Yea, come on. I know which drawer she keeps everything in.
Bobby: No, I no longer have the right to go near Carol’s drawers.
Carol: What’re you doing here?
Bobby: I thought you had chess club this afternoon.
Mike: Oh, well, right. I’ll leave you two alone. I’m sure you two got lots to talk about.
Carol: Well, I don’t have anything to talk about.
Bobby: Neither do I. I’ll come back later for my Tony Danza tank top.
Carol: Say hi to Debbie!
Bobby: You know, you’re the one who went out with other people in the first place. I only went
out with Debbie ‘cause you went out with Mr. Va-va-va-voom!
Carol: Well, what’s wrong with going out with other people? We weren’t officially going steady
remember?
Bobby: You’re right. It wasn’t official. So that’s why I’m going out with Debbie. And you got no
reason to be mad, Carol!
Carol: Well, yea? Well, you’re right.
Bobby: And what’s good for the goose is good for the mice to play when the cat’s away.
Carol: You’re right.
Bobby: And I’m right! I’m right?
Carol: Yes. Look, I never should have gone out with Jeff. It was the worst mistake I have ever
made. And you have every right to hate me.
Bobby: No, Carol. I couldn’t hate you.
Carol: Sure you can. It’s easy. I’m a slime bucket.
Bobby: No, I was the first guy you ever dated. I can see how you might get a little curious.
Hey, it’s amazing you did so well your first time around.
Carol: You’re so understanding.
Bobby: I know temptation. I mean, I see girls every day that I would just love…
Carol: Bobby.
Bobby: I’ll shut up.
Carol: Look, I’m really sorry. You mean more to me than anybody and I don’t care about your
irritating habits.
Bobby: Oh, that’s just the way I feel about you, too. You can still see other people if you want.
Carol: Oh, you too.
Bobby: Right.
Carol: Bobby, we can stand here and lie to each other or you can kiss me.
Jason: So, we agree it’s a good thing that Carol and Bobby are finished.
Maggie: Absolutely.