特朗普团队的着装密码

Donald Trump is trying to implement some sartorial rigour within his administration. According to intelligence from the White House, the president believes his staff should “have a certain look” and aspire to “be sharply dressed”. Men should wear a tie. Female colleagues have been told to “dress like a woman”, whatever that means. Perhaps he wants them to swing through the White House on tree vines, wearing jungle pelts in the manner of Edgar Rice Burroughs’ Jane?

唐纳德•特朗普(Donald Trump)试图在其政府内推行某种严格的着装规定。根据来自白宫的消息，这位总统认为他的员工应该“有一种仪表”，注重“笔挺的着装”。男士应该戴领带。女性工作人员则被告知应“穿得像个女人”——谁知道这是什么意思。或许，他希望她们像埃德加•赖斯•巴勒斯(Edgar Rice Burroughs，《人猿泰山》作者)笔下的珍妮一样，身着丛林皮毛，在树藤上荡过白宫?

As with so many of his executive orders so far, it’s predictably disappointing. And possibly misguided. One of the few joys to find in this new world order is in observing just how uniformly shambolic and ill-matched it is. I assumed the administration’s chaotic deportment was in fact a marvellously choreographed campaign to deflect “the opposition party” from the fine details of the day.

和特朗普到目前为止的诸多行政命令一样，这一条也毫无意外地令人失望。而且它还可能不明智。在这个新的世界秩序中，少数乐趣之一是观察它如何始终如一地混乱和错配。我曾以为，特朗普政府五花八门的穿着实际上是一种谋划绝妙的行动，目的是将“反对党”的注意力从当天的细节上转移开来。

What better way to disguise your flailing incompetence at a press briefing, for example, than by wearing a tie of such exceptional ugliness that no one will really hear what you’re trying to say? Sean Spicer knows how to make headlines. The White House press secretary’s clumsy attempts to explain the botched military operations that led to the death of civilians and a Navy seal following a raid on Yemen last week were overlooked as focus fell instead on the diagonally striped monstrosity in poison yellow and navy tied around his neck.

比如，要想在一次新闻发布会上掩饰手足无措的无能样子，还有什么方法比戴上一条丑得出奇的领带、以至于没人会听你想说什么更好?肖恩•斯派塞(Sean Spicer)对如何上头条可是了如指掌。在上上周美国对也门发动一次突袭后，这位白宫新闻秘书试图为这次导致多位平民和一名海豹突击队员丧生的糟糕军事行动作出解释。然而，他这一笨拙努力却被无视了，原因是人们的注意力都集中到了他脖子上系着的毒黄色与海军蓝斜条纹相间的怪物上。

I just assumed the tie was sartorial spin. Call it Project Blind: dull the people to the ineptitude of your policymaking and practice by wearing an eye-wateringly unattractive wardrobe. Donald Trump’s ill-fitting suit, Fanta complexion and feathery comb-over are already well documented: but he looks almost suave compared to the unshaven Steve Bannon, with his livid red proboscis, stained T-shirts and straining shirt buttons. So slovenly is he, and so swollen with choler, he seems to ooze with an especially Chaucerian brand of humour. Watching him slumped in his flannel shirts in the Oval Office, I am reminded of The Nun’s Priest Tale: “For God’s love, as tak som laxatyf.”

我认为，这条领带是一件服装杀器。可以把它称为“致盲项目”：通过丑到让人泪流满面的着装，让人们注意不到你在政策制定和执政上的无能。对于唐纳德•特朗普那身不合身的西装、芬达(Fanta)般的面色以及翻飞的“地方支援中央”发型，已有太多描绘。不过，与胡子拉碴、鼻子青里透红、T恤褪色、衬衣扣子紧绷的史蒂夫•班农(Steve Bannon)相比，他看起来几乎可以算体面了。班农是如此邋遢而又一副气鼓鼓的模样，看上去似乎散发着一种特别的乔叟(Chaucer)式幽默感。看着他身着法兰绒衬衣一屁股坐到椭圆办公室中，我想起了《女尼的教士的故事》(The Nun’s Priest Tale)：“看在天的面上，请你吃一服泻药就好了。”

Then there’s Mike Pence, who wears smarter white button-down shirts, electric-coloured ties and navy suits, with all the self-possession of a Weeble. Or secretary of defence James Mattis, cadaverous in camo. Attorney-general Jeff Sessions wears pocket-sized suits and ties in reflux yellow and spotted vermilion: he carries them both with the skittery, overly keen mien of a warm-up host.

接下来还有迈克•彭斯(Mike Pence)，他一身较时髦的领尖有纽扣的衬衣、电蓝色领带和海军蓝西装，一副威宝娃娃(Weeble)般泰然自若的模样。还有国防部长詹姆斯•马蒂斯(James Mattis)，身着迷彩服的他形容枯槁。司法部长杰夫•塞申斯(Jeff Sessions)则穿着袖珍号的西装，领带要么是反酸呕吐物一般的黄色，要么是起圆点的朱红色：如此装扮的他，又露出准备待客的主人一般的一惊一乍、过度热情的仪态。

For comic opportunities alone, I hope Trump has directed his female staffers to follow the lead of Kellyanne Conway in their efforts to look “like a woman”. The counsellor to the president is the undisputed star of this fashion circus: a feisty, former cheerleader who, to judge by the state of her inauguration ensemble, takes her style inspiration from the Peruvian refugee Paddington Bear.

仅仅为了搞笑，我希望特朗普已向其女性员工发出指示，在努力看起来“像个女人”方面，要追随凯莉安妮•康韦(Kellyanne Conway)的引领。这位特朗普的顾问是这一时尚马戏团中无可争议的明星：从特朗普就职仪式上她的着装判断，这位争强好胜的前啦啦队长的穿搭灵感，来源于秘鲁难民“巴丁顿熊” (Paddington Bear)。

Conway’s taste is mesmerisingly brutal; a muddle of lurid jackets and look-at-me ensembles in primary brights — citrine, vermilion, blood — that are every bit as jarring as her coarse rhetoric. She embraces the type of womanly power glamour observed by weather girls and newscasters: her sleeveless dresses testify to a woman’s right to bare arms or, in the case of the ruffled gold jacket she wore to canvass at Trump Tower last November, the right to resemble a gilded valance sheet. But time has been cruel to Conway. Where once she might have been described as perky, the first weeks in office have lent her sleep-starved, kohl-rimmed looks the ravaged expression of a raptor. I can’t wait to see what she’ll wear next.

康韦的品味之粗俗令人过目难忘;花里胡哨的外套混搭聚焦全场目光的柠檬黄、朱红、血红色等各种艳色套装，就和她粗鲁的措辞一样刺目。她奉行女天气预报员和新闻播音员的那套女性魅力规则：她的无袖连衣裙宣示着女性裸露手臂的权利，去年11月她在特朗普大厦(Trump Tower)游说拉票时穿的那件褶边金色外套则代表女性有权穿的像装饰金边的床幔一样。但是时间对康韦很残酷。一度人们或许还可以用“活泼”这样的词来形容她，特朗普上任头几个星期后，她那张严重缺觉、顶着黑眼圈的脸看起来像迅猛龙一样凶。我迫不及待地想看看她接下来会穿什么。

Whatever about “dressing sharp”. It must take a concerted effort, a willingness even, to look so collectively dreadful. It’s also in keeping with the evolution (or should that be devolution?) of world-leader style. After years of slick homogeny on the political stage — slim, dark-suited, smug — we’re now seeing a return of the fashion maverick: think Yanis Varoufakis and his football manager leathers, or Nigel Farage in his Toad-of-Toad-Hall Crombie and tulip-pink ties.

不管“衣着笔挺”意味着什么，白宫员工必定需要一起努力、甚至抱着强大决心，才能集体穿得如此可怕。这还与世界领袖衣着风格的进化(或者我们该说退化?)保持了一致。在政治舞台上，圆滑的着装——神气活现的修身黑西装——曾多年占据霸主地位，现在我们看到了一种特立独行的时尚的回归：想想穿着足球教练款皮衣的亚尼斯•瓦鲁法基斯(Yanis Varoufakis)，或者奈杰尔•法拉奇(Nigel Farage)的那身《蟾宫之蟾》(Toad of Toad Hall)同款羊毛大衣和郁金香粉领带。

Similarly, British prime minister Theresa May’s affection for a voluminous tartan suit by Vivienne Westwood has been much discussed in recent weeks. As with the fabled leopard-print shoes in which she strode to power, May has worn the suits in moments of political — and personal — vulnerability, to announce her determination to lead the Conservative party, for example, or lay down a challenging Brexit strategy. Like Spicer’s tie, the tartan suit has proven a nifty decoy: capable of sucking up headlines and loud enough to distract from the political business of the day.

类似的，英国首相特里萨•梅(Theresa May)钟爱的一套Vivienne Westwood宽松款格子呢西装最近也受到了热议。就像在大步迈向权力时穿着已经成为传说的豹纹鞋一样，梅总是在容易遭受政治攻击或者人身攻击的时候穿上这套西装，比如在她宣布决定领导保守党时，或者在制定引起争议的英国退欧策略时。就像斯派塞的领带一样，事实证明梅的这套格子呢西装是一个绝佳的诱饵：不仅能够吸引报纸头条，还因为足够引入注目，能够分散人们对当日的政治事务的注意力。

It may look daft, but the wacky wardrobe is a formidable weapon: bad clothes stimulate alternative conversations, they’re diverting and normalising. Conway’s flowerpot hats are awful, Bannon’s flak jacket is filthy and Spicer’s ties are plain obnoxious, but they all throw light on the individual that wears them. They give the wearer personality. Even more significantly, the clothes are humanising: one could almost feel sorry for Spicer; while Bannon’s gorilla-like bearing has become as morbidly fascinating as his guerrilla-style of governance. It’s all quite stupefying to behold — which, presumably, is the point.

古怪的着装可能看起来很傻，但这是一种强大的武器：糟糕的着装会制造另类的话题，不仅转移注意力，还变得正常化。康韦的花盆形帽子很难看，班农的飞行员夹克看起来很脏，斯派塞的领带简直令人作呕，但这些着装都是穿着它们的人的注解，都赋予了穿着者个性。更重要的是，这些着装带来了人情味：人们几乎要为斯派塞感到难过了;而班农大猩猩一样的举止变得和他游击队式的治理风格一样，有了一种诡异的迷人感。这些衣装看起来令人目瞪口呆——这大概就是重点所在。

So rather than insist his aides smarten up, if I were Trump I’d order everyone to keep on clowning around: brighter ties, Hawaiian print shirts, lots of gold lamé. Dressing like a fool never seemed so wise.

因此，如果我是特朗普，与其坚持让助手们穿着“笔挺”，我会命令每个人继续招摇过市：系上颜色更亮的领带，穿夏威夷印花衬衫，尽情采用亮金色。穿得像个傻瓜从来没有像今天这样显得如此睿智。

@jellison; jo.ellison@ft.com 译者/简易、徐行