情人节特别记忆：论正确的求婚方式

论正确的求婚方式

Two Takes on a Marriage Proposal

我们常说，说话的方式比说话的内容更重要，这篇文章就很能体现这一点。作者以调侃的口吻谈求婚一事，句式、用词简单，但作者半发牢骚、半开玩笑的语气却是让人忍俊不禁。建议听、读时认真体会作者如何将语速、语调与内容很好地结合起来。

Around Valentine's Day, I decided to ask my wife what she remembered about my marriage proposal. Now I expected her to blush and then smile; maybe she'd sidle up next to me, give me a little kiss. Well she hesitated, then told me it was distinguished only by how forgettable it was. And, after taking an honest look at my effort, I am forced to agree with her.
在情人节前后，我决定问一下妻子对我当初求婚时的记忆。嗳，我原来以为她会羞红了脸，然后笑笑，说不定她还会静静地靠过来，轻轻亲我一下。嗯，事实是她犹豫了一下，然后告诉我那件事的最大特点是让人过后即忘。而我在努力回想自己当时的表现之后，也不得不同意她的说法。

It was April, 1993. I picked my wife, then girlfriend, up from her Brooklyn apartment and we walked around the corner to have dinner at a new Italian restaurant. During appetizers I asked her what she was doing the following May.
那是1993年4月，我把我妻子（当时的女朋友）从她住的纽约布鲁克林公寓接出来，然后我们拐过街角，在一家新开的意大利餐厅吃晚饭。在用开胃菜的时候，我问她五月份有什么计划。

“I have no idea.” she said. “Why?”
“我什么也没有计划，”她说道。“怎么了？”

“Well I thought we could get married,” I responded.
“嗯，我想我们可以那个时候结婚，”我说道。

Thinking I was joking, she kicked me under the table. “Don't do that.”
她以为我在开玩笑，就在饭桌下踢了我一下，说：“别乱说。”

“I'm serious.” I protested. “I am asking you to marry me.”
“我当真的，”我对她的话表示抗议。“我在向你求婚呢。”

Well she smiled, said yes, and the rest is history. No drama, no romance, no professions of love and longing, and no ring. There was not one bit of thought put into the entire event. It was an absolute disaster from beginning to end, and my wife is right to be disappointed.
她笑了笑，说好吧，结果就不必赘述了。没有戏剧性，也不浪漫，没有爱的表白与渴望，没有戒指。我之前对此事不加考虑，从头到尾绝对是一场灾难，我妻子对此很失望也是对的。

Now it wasn't that I took the moment lightly; on the contrary, I'd been anxious about the prospect of marrying her for weeks. I just blurted out the proposal lest my nerves get the best of me.
不过，这并不代表我对此事掉以轻心，恰好相反，我对跟她结婚这事已经焦虑了好几个星期了。当时我只不过是脱口而出，生怕自己太紧张而不敢说出来。

Now I have friends who did things the right way. My best buddy proposed to his girlfriend on New Year's Eve. He took her on a trip to Lake Tahoe, and as the clock struck midnight, he gave her a huge diamond and asked her to be his wife. I have another friend who took his future wife to their favorite Thai food restaurant and arranged for the waiter to present the ring on top of her dinner plate. I should have called one of these guys and asked for advice. Instead, when it was my turn at the line, I threw up a brick.
我有些朋友做事的方式是对头的。我最好的朋友是在除夕夜向女朋友求婚的。他把她带到塔霍湖，在午夜钟声敲响时拿出一颗硕大钻石向她求婚。我的另一位朋友把他未来的妻子带到他们最爱的泰国餐厅，安排侍者把求婚戒指放在餐厅托盘上捧出。我当时真该向这些家伙征求意见，但我没有这么做。结果，轮到我的时候，我搞砸了。

Now it's not that the proper proposal will guarantee a successful marriage: I know too many men who had great proposals and rotten marriages. There are, however, certain elements in a proposal that are important and whose significance is not lost on today's women.
当然，这并不是说正确的求婚方式是成功婚姻的保证，我认识有许多男人的求婚方式都很棒，但婚姻却很糟。然而，在求婚方式中包含的一些元素很重要，这些元素的意义在现代女性眼中也是很有分量的。

I have not met a woman yet who did not dream of a man on bended knee placing a band of gold on her finger. I have also never heard tell of a woman who didn't feel just a bit cheated when her intended neglected to offer his knee and this token. And my wife is no exception. As we reminisced, she made sure to let me know that any other woman would have rejected my weak proposal based purely on “GP”—that's “general principle”—and I count myself lucky.
我还不曾认识一位女性不幻想一个男人在她面前单膝跪下，把一杖戒指套在她的手指上；我也从来没听说过有哪一位女性如果自己的未婚夫忽视了下跪并呈上求婚的象征这一环节而不感到上当的。我妻子也不例外。我们在回忆往事的时候，她总会让我记住，换成另外任何一位女性，她都会仅以“常规”为由拒绝我那个没有诚意的求婚——我应该明白我是很幸运的。

I am serious when I say that this failure on my part, more than any other moment, is my greatest regret. As Cher would sing, “If I could turn back time…,” I would give the moment the respect it deserves and give my wife a proposal to remember. Maybe I would take her to the top of a mountain and let my proclamation of love echo across the valleys below. Or, one night, when we strolling down a quiet street, I would take her hand, get down on my knee, tell her how deeply I love her, what a terrific mother she would be, and ask her if she would please allow me the honor of spending the rest of my life with her.
我说我的这个过失是我一生中最大的遗憾，我是很认真的。就像雪儿在歌中唱道：“如果我能让时光倒流……”，那我会珍惜这个本该被珍惜的时刻，留给妻子一个能让她铭记的求婚方式。也许我会把她带到山顶，让我爱的宣言在脚下的山谷里回响；也许我会在某一个晚上，我们在静静的街上漫步的时候，牵过她的手，单膝跪下，对她说我是多么地爱她，她一定会是一位好母亲，然后求她让我有幸与她共度余生。