与家庭婚姻生活相关的英语词汇
TOPIC：婚姻;生活方式;
场景：
情感：婚姻;恋爱;幸福;离婚;
心理：如何培育健康的人际关系;如何处理负面情绪;
个人 & 伙伴：单打独斗 & 合作共赢;融合;
【口语 + 写作】
When it comes to marriage, what you don’t know really can hurt you.
谈到婚姻，无知的确会构成伤害。
【经典句式】
When it comes to… 谈到……
Whether because of shyness, disinterest or a desire to preserve romantic mystery, many couples do not ask each other the difficult questions that can help build the foundation for astable marriage, according to relationship experts.
情感专家表示，无论是出于害羞、不关心，还是希望保留浪漫的神秘感，许多伴侣并不会互相询问可以帮助建立稳固的婚姻基础但是难以回答的问题。
【经典句式】
shyness害羞
disinterest不关心
desire欲望
preserve保留
romantic浪漫的
foundation基础
a stable marriage稳固的婚姻
relationship expert情感专家
In addition to wanting someone with whom they can raise children and build a secure life, those considering marriage now expect their spouses to be both best friend and confidant. These romantic-comedy expectations, in part thanks to Hollywood, can be difficult to live up to.
除了希望找到一个人生儿育女、安稳地共度余生，那些想要结婚的人如今还期望另一半还是最好的朋友和知己。这种浪漫爱情喜剧般的期待要部分归功于好莱坞，然而要实现这些期待并不容易。
【经典句式】
in addition to …除了…还…
raise children生儿育女
build a secure life建立安稳的人生
spouse伴侣
confidant知己
romantic-comedy浪漫爱情喜剧
in part thanks to部分归功于……
live up to …实现
Sure, there are plenty of questions couples can ask of each other early in therelationship to help ensure a good fit, but let’s face it: most don’t.
诚然，在关系的早期，伴侣之间可以提出许许多多的问题来保证彼此般配。不过说实话，多数人并不会开口。
【经典句式】
plenty of大量的
couple伴侣
ensure确保
“If you don’t deal with an issue before marriage, you deal with it while you’re married,” said Robert Scuka, the executive director of the National Institute of Relationship Enhancement. It can be hard to keep secrets decade after decade, and reticence before the wedding can lead to disappointments down the line.
“有问题如果不在婚前处理的话，就需要在婚后处理，”全美关系增进研究所(National Institute of Relationship Enhancement)的执行总监罗伯特·斯库卡(RobertScuka)说。实在是很难年复一年地保守秘密，而婚前的缄默可能会导致后面的失望。
【经典句式】
deal with处理
issue问题
executive director执行总监
enhancement巩固
keep secret保守秘密
reticence缄默
lead to 导致
disappointment失望
down the line后期的
The following questions, intimate and sometimes awkward, are designed to spark honest discussions and possibly give couples a chance to spill secrets before it’s too late.
以下这些问题性质私密，有些还会带来尴尬，但它们的目的是激发开诚布公的讨论，给情侣们一个在无可挽回之前分享秘密的机会。
【经典句式】
intimate私密的
awkward尴尬的
spark激发
honest开诚布公的
spill secrets分享秘密
1. Did your family throw plates, calmly discuss issues orsilently shut downwhen disagreements arose?
1. 当有分歧出现的时候，你的家人是会摔盘子、冷静地讨论，还是缄口不言?
【经典句式】
calmly冷静地
shut down关掉
arise出现
A relationship’s success is based on how differences are dealt with,said Peter Pearson, a founder of the Couples Institute.As we are all shaped by our family’s dynamic,he said, this question will give you insight into whether your partner will come to mimic the conflict resolution patterns of his or herparents or avoid them.
伴侣研究所(Couples Institute)的创始人之一彼得·皮尔逊(Peter Pearson)指出，一段关系的成功与否取决于如何应对分歧。他说，鉴于我们都会受到自己家庭的影响，这个问题将让你一窥伴侣到底是会模仿父母的冲突解决模式，还是会加以避免。
【经典句式】
deal with处理
founder创始人
institute机构;研究所
shape塑造
dynamic动态
give… insight into … 赋予……关于……的洞见
partner伴侣
mimic模仿
conflict冲突
resolution解决
pattern模式
2. Will we have children, and if we do,will you change diapers?
2. 我们是否会生小孩?如果生的话，你会换尿布吗?
【经典句式】
diaper尿布
change diaper换尿布
With the question of children, it isimportant to not just say what you think your partner wants to hear, according to Debbie Martinez, a divorce and relationship coach. Before marrying, couples should honestly discuss if they want children. How many do they want? At what point dothey want to have them? And how do they imagine their roles as parents? Talking about birth-control methods before planning a pregnancy is also important, said Marty Klein, a sex and marriage therapist.
离婚与情感问题顾问黛比·马丁内兹(Debbie Martinez)表示，谈到孩子的问题，重要的是，不要只说你觉得伴侣爱听的话。结婚之前，情侣们应该坦率地讨论是否生小孩?生几个?什么时候生?想象中自己当父母会是怎么样的?性爱与婚姻咨询师马蒂·克莱因(Marty Klein)表示，在计划怀孕之前讨论避孕方法也很重要。
【经典句式】
partner伴侣
birth-control method避孕方法
pregnancy怀孕
therapist咨询师
TOPIC：婚姻;生活方式;
场景：
情感：婚姻;恋爱;幸福;离婚;
心理：如何培育健康的人际关系;如何处理负面情绪;
个人 & 伙伴：单打独斗 & 合作共赢;融合;
【口语 + 写作】
3. Will our experiences with our exes helpor hinder us?
3. 与前任在一起的经历对我们是会有所帮助还是阻碍?
【经典句式】
hinder阻碍
Bradford Wilcox, the director of the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia, pointed to research his organization has sponsored that indicated that having had many serious relationships can pose a risk for divorce and lower marital quality. (This can be because of a person having more experience with serious breakups and potentially comparing a current partner unfavorably with past ones.) Raising these issues early on can help,Dr. Wilcox said. Dr. Klein said people are “hesitant to explicitly talk about their past” and can feel retroactively jealous or judgmental. “The only real way to have those conversations in an intimate and productive way and loving way is to agree to accept that the other person had a life before the couple,” he said.
弗吉尼亚大学全美婚姻项目(National Marriage Project)的主任布拉德福德·威尔科克斯(Bradford Wilcox)，援引旗下团队支持的研究指出，假如之前有过许多严肃的关系，则可能带来离婚或婚姻质量较低的风险。(或许是因为，这样的人经历了更多惨痛的分手，可能会将当下的伴侣与前任进行不利的比较。)威尔科克斯博士认为，一早提出这些问题会有所帮助。克莱因博士则称，大家“不愿直截了当地谈及过去”，还可能对以前的事情产生嫉妒或苛责的感觉。“以亲密、有效且关爱的方式进行此类对话的唯一办法是，接受对方和你在一起之前是有历史的，”他说。
【经典句式】
sponsor资助
indicate说明
pose a risk for 使有风险
marital quality 婚姻质量
break up分手
potentially潜在地
unfavorably不利地
raise… issue 提出…问题
hesitant犹豫的
explicitly直截了当地
jealous嫉妒
judgmental苛责的
conversation对话
4. How important is religion? How will we celebrate religious holidays,if at all?
4. 宗教的重要性有多大?如果要庆祝宗教节日的话，会是怎样的形式?
【经典句式】
religion宗教
celebrate庆祝
religious holiday宗教节日
If two people come from different religious backgrounds, is each going to pursuehis or her own religious affiliation? Dr. Scuka has worked with couples on encouraging honest discussion around this issue as the executive director of the National Institute of Relationship Enhancement. What is more, spouses are especially likely to experience conflict over religious traditions when children are added to the mix, according to Dr. Wilcox. If the couple decide to have children, they must ask how the children’s religious education will be handled. It is better to have a plan, he said.
倘若二人来自不同的宗教背景，是各自践行自身的宗教吗?担任全美关系增进研究所执行总监期间，斯库卡博士为一些伴侣提供咨询的时候鼓励他们就这类议题进行坦率的讨论。威尔科克斯表示，除此之外，当涉及到子女的时候，配偶之间尤其容易因宗教传统产生冲突。如果两人决定要小孩，他们必须探讨如何处理孩子的宗教教育问题。他说，最好是有所规划。
【经典句式】
religious background宗教背景
pursue追求
religious affiliation宗教隶属
executive director总监
spouse配偶
likely倾向于;可能的
experience conflict over …碰到……的冲突
religious tradition宗教传统
when… are added to the mix当涉及到……的时候
handle处理;解决
5. Is my debt your debt? Would you be willing to bail me out?
5. 一方有债，是否共同承担?你是否愿意在经济上资助我?
【经典句式】
debt债务
be willing to do sth 愿意……
bail… out拯救;捞人
It’s important to know how your partnerfeels about financial self-sufficiency and whether he or she expects you to keep your resources separate,said Frederick Hertz, a divorce lawyer. Disclosing debts is very important. Equally, if there is a serious discrepancy between your income and your partner’s, Dr. Scuka recommended creating abasic budget according to proportional incomes. Many couples fail to discuss sharing finances, though it is crucial, he said.
离婚律师弗雷德里克·赫兹(Frederick Hertz)表示，重要的一点是了解你的伴侣对财务独立的看法，了解他或她是否希望将你们的财务分开管理。向伴侣披露自己的债务信息，是非常重要的。同样地，如果你和伴侣之间收入差异很大，斯库卡博士会建议你们根据收入比例，建立一个基本的支出预算。他说有很多情侣不谈论分担财务的问题，尽管这点极为重要。
【经典句式】
financial self-sufficiency财务独立
separate分开的
disclose披露
debt债务
discrepancy矛盾
income收入
recommend建议
budget预算
proportional按比例的
sharing finances分担财务
crucial极为重要的
6. What’s the most you would be willing to spend on acar, a couch, shoes?
6. 为一辆车、一张沙发或一双鞋，你最多愿意花多少钱?
【经典句式】
be willing to do sth 愿意……
Couples should make sure they are on the same page in terms of financial caution or recklessness. Buying a caris a great indicator,according to Mr. Hertz. Couples can also frame this question around what they spend reckless amounts of money on, he said.
情侣们应该确保他们在财务方面的谨慎或冒进程度是一致的。据赫兹博士讲，买一辆车是个不错的衡量指标。他说，情侣们也可以把问题换成，他们会在哪些东西上无所顾忌地花钱。
【经典句式】
in terms of 在……方面
be on the same page 达成一致
financial caution 财务谨慎
recklessness冒进
indicator指标
frame…设计框架
reckless无所顾忌的
TOPIC：婚姻;生活方式;
场景：
情感：婚姻;恋爱;幸福;离婚;
心理：如何培育健康的人际关系;如何处理负面情绪;
个人 & 伙伴：单打独斗 & 合作共赢;融合;
【口语 + 写作】
7. Can you deal with my doing things without you?
7. 你能接受我不带你，自己去做一些事吗?
【经典句式】
deal with处理
Goinginto marriage, many people hope to keep their autonomy in certain areasof their life at the same time they are building a partnership with their spouse, according to Seth Eisenberg, the president of Pairs (Practical Application of Intimate Relationship Skills). This means they may be unwilling to share hobbies or friends, and this can lead to tension and feelings of rejection if it isn’t discussed. Couples may also have different expectations as to what “privacy” means, added Dr. Klein, and that should be discussed, too. Dr. Wilcox suggested asking your partner when he or she most needs to be alone.
培训机构“亲密关系技能实际应用”(Practical Application of Intimate Relationship Skills，简称PARIS)的总裁塞斯·艾森伯格(SethEisenberg)认为，在走进婚姻的时候，很多人在和配偶构筑伙伴关系的同时，也会想在某些生活领域保持自己的独立性。这意味着，他们可能不愿分享自己的爱好或朋友，如果不就这个进行沟通，有可能会让另一方产生被排斥感，导致二人关系紧张。克莱因博士则表示，对于尊重“隐私”到底意味着什么，双方也可能会有不一样的期待，同样需要就此进行讨论。威尔科克斯博士建议，可以问一问你的伴侣，他或她在什么情况下最需要个人空间。
【经典句式】
going into marriage 走进婚姻;结婚
autonomy自治
spouse配偶
application应用
intimate relationship亲密关系
be unwilling to do sth不情愿……
lead to导致
tension紧张
as to关于
privacy隐私
8. Do we like each other’s parents?
8. 我们喜欢彼此的父母吗?
Aslong as you and your partner present a united front, having a bad relationship with your in-laws can be manageable, Dr.Scuka said. But if a spouse is not willing to address the issue with hisor her parents, it can bode very poorly for the long-term health of the relationship, he said. At the same time, Dr. Pearson said,considering the strengths and weaknesses of your parents can illuminate future patterns of attachment or distancing in your own relationship.
斯库卡认为，只要你和伴侣立场统一，和姻亲关系不好的问题就是可控的。但他说如果一方不愿解决与他或她父母有关的问题，对二人关系长远的健康发展而言，就不是一个好兆头。与此同时，皮尔逊博士表示，分析你父母的优点和缺点，对了解二人未来的伴侣关系中的依恋或疏远模式，会有所启发。
【经典句式】
as long as只要
present a united front立场统一
in-law姻亲
manageable可控的
spouse配偶
be not willing to do sth不情愿……
address the issue 解决问题
bode very poorly for …不是一个好兆头
long-term长远的
health of the relationship关系的健康程度
strength优点;长处
weakness弱点
illuminate说明
pattern模式
attachment依恋;附属
distancing疏远
9. How important is sex to you?
9. 性对你来说有多重要?
Couples today expect to remain sexually excited by their spouse, an expectation that did not exist in the past, according to Mr. Eisenberg. A healthy relationship will include discussion of what partners enjoy about sex as well as how often they expect to have it, Dr. Klein said. If people are looking to experience different things through sex — pleasure versus feeling young, for example —some negotiation may be required to ensure both partners remainsatisfied.
艾森伯格表示，如今的情侣期待能对伴侣在性方面保持兴奋感，这在过去的夫妻身上是没有的。克莱因博士认为，在一段健康的关系中，双方应该能讨论彼此在性方面的喜好和欢爱的频率。如果双方期待通过性所获得东西不一样，比如一方想获得愉悦，另一方想藉此感觉年轻，可能就需要进行协商，以确保双方都能继续得到满足感。
【经典句式】
remain保持
spouse伴侣
a healthy relationship一段健康的关系
negotiation协商
require需要
ensure确保
10. How far should we take flirting with other people?Is watching pornography O.K.?
10. 与他人的调情可以进行到什么程度?看AV可以接受吗?
【经典句式】
flirt with调情
pornography黄片
Dr. Klein said couples should discuss their attitudes about pornography,flirting and expectations for sexual exclusivity.A couple’s agreement on behavior in this area can, and most likely will, change down the line, he said, but it is good to set the tone early on so both partners are comfortable discussing it. Ideally,sexual exclusivity should be talked about in the same way as other day-to-day concerns, so that problems can be dealt with before a partner becomes angry, he said. Dr.Pearson suggested asking your partner outright for his or her views on pornography. Couples are often too scared to ask about this early in the relationship, but he has frequently seen it become a point of tension down the line, he said.
克莱因表示，情侣们应该谈论各自在色情作品、调情，以及双方保持排他的性关系等问题上的看法。他说，情侣双方就此达成的一致意见，很有可能还会在以后发生改变，但在早期定下基调是件好事，这样双方就可以自然地讨论这类问题。他说，比较理想的是，应该像谈论日常关心的其他事一样，谈论排他的性关系，这样就提前处理了可能会出现的问题，避免出现惹怒对方的情况。皮尔逊建议坦率地问问你的伴侣对色情作品是什么看法。他说，情侣在关系发展的早期通常不敢问对方这个问题，但这点往往会在以后成为导致双方关系紧张的一个方面。
【经典句式】
pornography黄片
flirt调情
exclusivity排他性
likely可能的
set the tone 定下基调
earlyon在早期
ideally理想地
day-to-day日常的
concern关心
outright坦率地
tension紧张
11. Do you know all the ways I say “I loveyou”?
11. 你知道都有哪些表达“我爱你”的方式吗?
Gary Chapman’s 1992 book, “The 5 LoveLanguages,” introduced this meansof categorizing expressions of love to strengthen a marriage. Ms. Martinez hands her premarriage clientsa list of the five love languages: affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service and physical touch. She asks them to mark their primary and secondary languages and what they think is their partner’s, and discuss them. Mr. Eisenberg said that a couple needs to work out how to nurture the relationship, in a way specific to them.
在1992年的著作《五种爱之语》(The 5 Love Languages)里，加里·查普曼(Gary Chapman)介绍了这种区分表达爱的方式以巩固婚姻的方式。马丁内斯给她那些即将结婚的客户列出了这五种爱之语：肯定、愉悦时光、接到礼物、为对方服务、身体接触。她让他们在其中标出自己的第一和第二爱之语，也标出他们认为伴侣比较多采用的两种，然后进行讨论。艾森伯格表示，伴侣需要搞清楚如何用一种他们独有的方式增进彼此的关系。
【经典句式】
means方式
categorize区分
strengthen巩固
hand递给
client客户
affirmation肯定
quality time愉悦时光;黄金时间
physical touch身体接触
primary首要的
work out搞清楚
nurture培育
nurture the relationship增进关系
12. What do you admire about me, and what are your pet peeves?
12. 我身上有哪些东西是你比较欣赏的，又有哪些是你不能忍受的?
【经典句式】
admire欣赏
pet peeve不能忍受的事
Can you imagine the challenges ever outweighing the admiration? If so, whatwould you do? Anne Klaeysen, a leader of the New York Society for Ethical Culture, said thatcouples rarely consider that second question. Ideally, marriage is a life commitment, she said, and it’s not enoughto just “click together,”as many couples describe their relationship. A marriage must go deeper thanthat original “click.”
你知道有些挑战会消磨你对伴侣的爱慕之情吗?如果知道，你会怎么办?纽约道德文化学会(New York Society for Ethical Culture)的一名负责人安·克莱伊森(Anne Klaeysen)表示，情侣们很少考虑第二个问题。她说，在理想的情况下，婚姻是一生一世的相守，仅有“一见如故”是不够的。这个词是很多情侣在描述他们的关系时会用到的。但婚姻必须比最初的“合拍”走得更加深入。
【经典句式】
outweigh超过
admiration爱慕;欣赏
ethical道德的
ideally理想地
a life commitment一生一世的约定
click together合拍
13. How do you see us 10 years from now?
13. 你觉得十年后的我们会是什么样?
Keeping the answer to this question in mindcan help a couple deal with current conflict as they work toward their ultimate relationship goals, according to Mr. Eisenberg.
艾森伯格认为，将你对这个问题的答案记在心里，会有助于配偶一边努力实现自己在婚姻关系上的终极目标，一边解决眼下的冲突。
【经典句式】
current目前的
conflict冲突
ultimate终极的
Dr. Wilcox said this discussion could also be an opportunity to raise the question of whether each partner will consider divorce if the relationship deteriorates,or whether they expect marriage to be for life, come what may.
威尔科克斯表示，这种讨论也提供了一个机会，让你可以了解伴侣是否会在双方关系恶化时考虑离婚，还是说他们觉得，不管发生什么，婚姻都是一辈子的事。
【经典句式】
raise the question of提出问题
deteriorate恶化
