短篇英语笑话合集

短篇英语笑话合集

忙碌之余可以看一点不一样的哦!英语笑话既解压又在放松之余学到了新单词，是不是一举两得呢?

1. Feedback

反应

A motorist got caught in one of those new radar traps.He had been driving home one night when the automatic camera identified his car as exceeding the speed limit, Soon after，he received a ticket in the mail，plus a picture of this vehicle with the date and speed recorded on it.

一个飞车手被新的雷达测速仪捕获。那是他在一天晚上超速驾车回家时，被自动照像机摄下了他的汽车。不久，他便收到了一个装有罚款单的信封，里面装有他汽车的照片、超速的日期和速度。

Duly impressed, he sent back the ticket, along with a photo of a $100 bill to pay the fine. 他对这种方式的印象极为深刻，于是寄回了那张罚款单，并附上了一张一百元美金的照片作为罚金。

2. .Identification

证明

A woman came into our bank to get a check cashed，but she didn't have an account with us. When I asked her for some identification, she showed me several charge cards，her Social Security card and a library card. I told her we needed a driver's license，but she didri t have one. 一位妇女来到我们银行想兑换一张支票，但她在我们这儿没建立帐户。当我问她要证明材料时，她把社会保险卡、图书卡拿给我看。我告诉她我们要看她的驾驶证，她说她没有。

"Don't you have something with your picture on it?"I asked.

“难道你就没带照片的东西吗?”

"Oh, sure,"she said as she flipped to a family photo in her wallet. "That's me in the back row. " “噢，有啊，”她边说边从钱包里拿出一张合家照，“站在后排的那个就是我。”

3. As the years turn

生日来临之际

For her 82nd birthday，I surprised my grandmother with a birthday greeting signed by the President. (Upon request，this service is available to seniors over 80.)

When I asked grandma how she felt receiving a card from the White House，she had a ready answer. "There's no privacy in this country any more,"she said. "They even keep track of your birthday. "

我奶奶过82岁的生日时，我送给她一份惊奇的礼物—一张由总统签名的生日贺卡。(根据规定，80岁以上的老年人可得到此项服务。)

当我问奶奶收到来自白宫的贺卡有何感想时，她毫不犹豫地回答说:“在这个国家，再也没有隐私了，他们就连你的生日都追踪着。”

4. Peter decides the grade

彼得的长相决定了分数

One semester when my brother, Peter，attended the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis，an art-student friend of his asked if he could paint Peter's portait for a class.assignment. Peter agreed，and the art student painted and submitted the portrait, only to receive a C minus.

我兄弟彼得在明尼阿波利斯的明尼索达大学上学时，有一个学期，他的一位学艺术的朋友问他是否可以用他做素描的模特作为课堂作业。彼得同意了。那位艺术生画完了，就把肖像交给了老师。他只得了一个C-.

The art student approached the professor to ask why the grade was so poor. The teacher told him that the proportions in the painting were incorrect.”The head is too big，”the professor explained.”The shoulders are too wide， and the feet are enormous."

那位艺术生找到教授问为什么他的分数这么低。教授告诉他肖像中的比例失调，教授说:“脑袋太大，肩太宽，脚也过于大了。”

The next day,the art student brought Peter to see the professor. He took one Look at my brother."Okay, A minus. "he said.

第二天，那位艺术生带彼得见教授，教授看了我兄弟一眼，并说:“好，可以得A-。”

5. Wife's desire

妻子的欲望

A woman and her husband were out shopping when she realized that she needed to purchase some hair color for her graying hair.

一位女士在与他的丈夫购物时，她意识到她该为她的灰白头发买些染发水了。

"When are you going to stop buying that expensive stuff ,"complained the husband."and let your hair go gray like Barbara Bush?"

她丈夫抱怨说:“你什么时候才能停止买那些昂贵的东西，而让你的头发长成像芭芭拉.布什(总统夫人)的头发那样灰白呢?”

"The day that you're inaugurated,"the wife replied. “那就要等到你就职的那天了。”妻子说。

不仅放松了自己，还学到了知识!大家下篇见啦!