双语·当呼吸化为空气 看来亟待训练的不仅是我的头脑 还有双眼

我看到了。看来亟待训练的不仅是我的头脑，还有双眼。
I did. Not only would my mind have to be trained, my eyes would, too.

“剪刀！”梅丽莎剪开我笨手笨脚打的结，重新缝合了伤口，贴上带有伤口敷料的胶贴。病人被带去了康复病房。
“Scissors!” Melissa cut out my amateur knots, resutured the wound, applied the dressing, and the patient was taken to recovery.

梅丽莎之前跟我讲过，在子宫内存活到二十四周，是培养胎儿生存能力的关键。双胞胎坚持了二十三周零六天。他们的器官已经形成，但也许还不足以负担起维持生命的责任。他们本应该再在子宫的保护下安稳地发育将近四个月，接受脐带运送来的含氧血和营养素。现在，他们必须靠脆弱的肺部吸入氧气，而小小的肺还无法进行复杂的扩张和气体转移，也就是呼吸。我到新生儿重症监护室去看他们，两个双胞胎各自待在一个透明的塑料保温箱中，周围巨大的机器嘟嘟响着，显得他们那么小，几乎淹没在缠绕纠结的线和管子里。保温箱边上开了个小小的窗口，父母可以伸手进去轻轻摸摸他们的腿或者胳膊。对于小宝贝们来说，这种来自真人的触碰，是生死攸关的。
As Melissa had told me earlier, twenty-four weeks in utero was considered the edge of viability. The twins had lasted twenty-three weeks and six days. Their organs were present, but perhaps not yet ready for the responsibility of sustaining life. They were owed nearly four more months of protected development in the womb, where oxygenated blood and nutrients came to them through the umbilical cord. Now oxygen would have to come through the lungs, and the lungs were not capable of the complex expansion and gas transfer that was respiration. I went to see them in the NICU, each twin encased in a clear plastic incubator, dwarfed by large, beeping machines, barely visible amid the tangle of wires and tubes. The incubator had small side ports through which the parents could strain to reach and gently stroke a leg or arm, providing vital human contact.

太阳升起，我的轮班结束了。我可以回家了，但双胞胎被从子宫中取出的画面让我难以成眠。我感觉自己也有点像一个未发育完全的肺脏，还没做好维系生命的准备。那天晚上我去上班，被派给一个新的准妈妈。大家都觉得这个孕妇没什么问题。一切都按常规来，而且今天刚好就是她确定的预产期。我和护士一起跟进这个妈妈四平八稳的生产过程，宫缩频率稳定上升。护士不时报告子宫颈张开的状况，从三厘米到五厘米再到十厘米。
The sun was up, my shift over. I was sent home, the image of the twins being extracted from the uterus interrupting my sleep. Like a premature lung, I felt unready for the responsibility of sustaining life. When I returned to work that night, I was assigned to a new mother. No one anticipated problems with this pregnancy. Things were as routine as possible; today was even her actual due date. Along with the nurse, I followed the mother’s steady progress, contractions racking her body with increasing regularity. The nurse reported the dilation of the cervix, from three centimeters to five to ten.

“好，现在可以开始了。”护士转身看着我，“别担心，快生了我们呼你。”
“Okay, it’s time to push now,” the nurse said.Turning to me, she said, “Don’t worry—we’ll page you when the delivery is close.”

我在医生休息室找到梅丽莎，过了一会儿，妇产团队被召集到产房：要生了。梅丽莎在门外递给我一件长大褂、一双手套和一双很长的靴套。
I found Melissa in the doctors’ lounge. After some time, the OB team was called into the room: delivery was near. Outside the door, Melissa handed me a gown, gloves, and a pair of long boot covers.

“很脏的。”她说。
“It gets messy,” she said.

我们走进产房，我一直有点尴尬地站在旁边，直到梅丽莎把我推到产妇的两腿之间，主治医生的前面。
We entered the room. I stood awkwardly off to the side until Melissa pushed me to the front, between the patient’s legs, just in front of the attending.

“使劲！”护士鼓励产妇，“再来一遍，就像刚才那样，不过不要尖叫了。”
“Push!” the nurse encouraged. “Now again: just like that, only without the screaming.”