9个小贴士让你的婚姻长久健康
9个小贴士让你的婚姻长久健康
Living and sticking with a person for life is not easy. So what is the secret to keeping your happiness as a married couple?
和一个人一起生活并坚持一生是不容易的。那么，保持婚姻幸福的秘诀是什么呢?
Doctor, psychologist and marriage counselor Marie Hartwell-Walker from the US shared that couples who live together for a long time all talk about the following topics (in order of preference). In particular, they always talk with respect for each other and are committed to facing challenges and changing together.
来自美国的医生、心理学家和婚姻顾问玛丽·哈特韦尔-沃克说，住在一起很长时间的夫妻都会谈论以下话题(按喜好排序)。特别是双方始终相互尊重，致力于共同面对挑战，共同改变。
1. The role of each person
每个人的角色
Happy couples find roles that make them comfortable. Some prefer the traditional family model, one being the housewife, looking after children, the other provides financial support. A few other couples will be horrified by that idea and create a more equal style. Whatever, as long as both sides agree and feel comfortable.
幸福的夫妻会找到让他们感到舒适的角色。有些人喜欢传统的家庭模式，一个是家庭主妇，照顾孩子，另一个提供经济支持。其他一些夫妇会被这种想法吓坏，从而创造出一种更平等的风格。无论如何，只要双方同意并感到舒服就行。
2. How to make a decision
如何做决定
The method of discussing and making decisions together, who is the main decision maker in situations, situations that need to be carefully considered... are issues that need clarification to make marriage easier.
讨论一起做决定的方法，在需要仔细考虑的情况下，谁是主要的决策者…这是需要澄清的问题，使婚姻更容易。
3. Sex frequency and style
性生活频率和风格
Some happy couples with little sex. Some agree that having sex every morning is a great start. Together they share satisfaction and decide the right way for both..
一些快乐的夫妻很少做爱。有些人同意每天早上做爱是一个很好的开始。他们一起分享满足感，为双方决定正确的方式。
4. Fidelity
忠诚
For some people, having sex with anyone other than their spouses is taboo. For some people, the partner may have sex with a third person, but don't let them know it.Regardless, couples need to share their views and understand the importance of this inviolable agreement. When the deal is broken, the relationship will be in danger.
对一些人来说，与配偶以外的人发生性关系是禁忌。对有些人来说，伴侣可能与第三人发生性关系，但不要让他们知道。无论如何，夫妻需要分享他们的观点，理解这个不可侵犯的协议的重要性。一旦交易破裂，你们的关系就会陷入危险。
5. Money
钱
Besides fidelity, all couples agree that a lack of knowledge about how to make money, spend and save will be a serious threat to marriage. Perennial couples know their finances right from the beginning to share a house.
除了忠贞，所有的夫妻都认为缺乏赚钱、消费和储蓄的知识将是对婚姻的严重威胁。常年夫妻在合租一套房子的时候就知道自己的财务状况。
6. Religion, politics, race and culture
宗教，政治，种族和文化
Couples come from different backgrounds (religion, race, nationality, political views...), when talking about these issues need to be alert and respectful. Thus, the difference does not create conflict, it will enrich the interesting conversation topic.
夫妻来自不同的背景(宗教、种族、国籍、政治观点……)，在谈论这些问题时要保持警惕和尊重。因此，差异不会产生冲突，反而会丰富有趣的谈话话题。
7. Relationship with other family members
与其他家庭成员的关系
Couples need to be clear about the extent of the influence of the older generation as well as the agreement on their obligations to the extended family. Some welcome elderly parents or other relatives to live with. Some meet others on a weekly basis or on new occasions to visit family...
夫妻需要清楚地了解长辈的影响程度以及他们对大家庭义务的协议。一些人欢迎年迈的父母或其他亲戚和他们住在一起。有些人每周和其他人见面，或者在一些场合去探亲。
8. Relationship with friends
与朋友的关系
Does everyone have their own friends or should all friendships be shared? Can a heterosexual best friend threaten your marriage?... Tell each other what you think to find a suitable solution for both of you.
每个人都有自己的朋友吗?还是所有的友谊都应该分享?异性好朋友会威胁到你的婚姻吗?告诉对方你的想法，以便找到一个适合双方的解决方案。
9. Children
孩子
Children change most things, making a couple spend time, energy and money. How to raise them and who should do it... Discussing about having children before really becoming a parent is essential, and should do that if you want to build a long-lasting family.
孩子改变了很多事情，让夫妻花费时间、精力和金钱。如何抚养他们，谁来抚养他们……如果你想建立一个持久的家庭，那么在真正为人父母之前讨论一下要不要孩子是很重要的。
