研究表明，你不能对孩子隐瞒你的压力

研究表明，你不能对孩子隐瞒你的压力

Parenting in the age of coronavirus is packed with stress. After all, you're juggling home schooling, work (or the lack of it) and the new realities of social distancing and isolation while trying to keep your family healthy and safe.

在冠状病毒时代为人父母充满了压力。毕竟，你在努力维持家庭健康和安全的同时，还要应付家庭教育、工作(或失业)以及社交距离和隔离的新现实。

But if you're trying to hide that stress from your children -- even with the best intentions of protecting them from the pressure -- it's not going to work, according to a new study published Wednesday in the journal Family Psychology.

但是，如果你试图向你的孩子隐藏这种压力——即使你的本意是保护他们免受这种压力——这是行不通的，根据周三发表在《家庭心理学》杂志上的一项新研究。

"If you're stressed and just say, 'Oh, I'm fine,' that only makes you less available to your child," said study author Sara Waters, an assistant professor in the department of human development at Washington State University.

该研究的作者、华盛顿州立大学人类发展部助理教授萨拉·沃特斯说:“如果你感到有压力，只是说，‘哦，我很好’，这只会让你和孩子在一起的时间更少。”

We found that the kids picked up on that and reciprocated, which becomes a self-fulfilling dynamic," Waters said in a statement.

我们发现孩子们意识到了这一点，并做出了相应的回应，这就变成了一种自我实现的动力。”沃特斯在一份声明中说道。

"These are fascinating findings about the way our bodies' physiology links up with our children's -- for good or bad," said Dr. Jenny Radesky, a developmental behavioral pediatrician who teaches at the University of Michigan.

在密歇根大学任教的发育行为儿科医生珍妮·雷德斯基博士说:“这些发现很有意思，它们揭示了我们身体的生理机能与孩子的生理机能是如何联系在一起的，不管这种联系是好是坏。”

"There are so many things about Covid-19-related stresses that we may not want to express to our children, such as worries about relatives' health or finances," Radesky added.

雷德斯基补充说：“与Covid-19相关的压力有很多事情，我们可能不想向孩子表达，比如担心亲戚的健康或财务状况。”

"These results suggest that stifling emotions don't get rid of them -- they stay under our skin in the form of changes in our heart and nervous system functioning," she said. "And as most parents know, they can pop out later in the form of irritability, overreacting to our children or yelling."

她说：“这些结果表明，压抑的情绪并不能消除——它们以心脏和神经系统功能变化的形式留在我们的皮肤下。”而且大多数家长都知道，他们可能会以易怒、对我们的孩子反应过度或大叫的形式出现。”

The study put sensors on the bodies of 107 parents, nearly half of whom were dads, and their 7 to 11-year-old children. Parents were asked to list five topics of frequent conflict with their kids, and then they were given activities designed to create stress, such as public speaking.

这项研究在107名父母和他们7至11岁的孩子身上安装了传感器，其中近一半是父亲。研究人员要求父母列出与孩子经常发生冲突的五个话题，然后让他们参加一些旨在制造压力的活动，比如公开演讲。

Results showed that when parents repressed their stressful feelings, both the parents and the children were rated as "less warm" and "less engaged" with each other.

结果显示，当父母压抑他们的紧张情绪时，父母和孩子都被评为“不太热情”和“不太投入”。

"That makes sense for a parent distracted by trying to keep their stress hidden, but the kids very quickly changed their behavior to match the parent," Waters said.

沃特斯说：“对于一个试图隐藏压力而分心的家长来说，这是有道理的，但孩子们很快就改变了自己的行为来配合父母。”

In fact, sensors on the child's body recorded a physical response when the parent hid their emotions, the study found.

研究发现，事实上，当父母隐藏自己的情绪时，孩子身体上的传感器会记录下身体的反应。

One interesting finding was a difference between mothers and fathers. When moms were told to hide their emotions, their children showed even more signs of stress on the physiological sensor and in their outward behavior. That didn't happen with dads, however.

一个有趣的发现是父母之间的差异。当妈妈们被告知要隐藏自己的情绪时，她们的孩子在生理传感器和外在行为上表现出更多的压力迹象。不过，这在父亲身上并没有发生。

"We were looking for a physiological response, but there wasn't one in either the control or the experimental condition where dads transmitted stress to their kids," Waters said.

沃特斯说:“我们一直在寻找一种生理反应，但无论是在对照组还是实验条件下，都没有发现父亲会将压力传递给孩子。”

Don't guilt yourself over stress

不要因为压力而内疚

The takeaway from the study for parents, Waters said, is to not stress about your stress.

沃特斯说，这项针对父母的研究得出的结论是，不要为自己的压力感到紧张。

Radesky agreed: "It's important for parents to know that this isn't meant to 'blame' them, but to give them the power to know that children can feed off of parents' emotional state in positive ways, too."

雷德斯基同意:“让父母知道这并不是要‘责备’他们，而是让他们知道孩子也可以从父母的情感状态中获得积极的东西，这一点很重要。”