是的，如果方法正确的话，对你的孩子大喊大叫是可以的
是的，如果方法正确的话，对你的孩子大喊大叫是可以的
With every generation comes a new flavor of perfectionism, and today's perfect parent is mellow. No matter how hot it gets, she never loses her cool. Her breath remains slow and steady. Her voice, soft as a new moon.
每一代人都有一种新的完美主义倾向，而如今的完美父母是成熟的。不管天气多热，她总是很冷静。她的呼吸仍然缓慢而平稳。她的声音如新月般温柔。
I've seen many of the books, articles, apps, oils, and bath products, designed to turn all of us into this parent. I try to take deep breaths. I try to remember the good stuff. But the Calm Industrial Complex, mighty and ubiquitous as it is, has yet to change the way I speak to my kids.
我看过很多书、文章、应用程序、精油和沐浴产品，它们都是为了把我们所有人都变成这样的父母而设计的。我试着深呼吸。我试着记住好的东西。但这个平静的工业联合体，强大而无处不在，还没有改变我对孩子们说话的方式。
I yell. I'm from a family of yellers, from a culture of yellers. I consider the occasional raised voice well within the range of healthy human expression.
我吼道。我来自一个爱说人的家庭，来自一个爱说人的文化。我认为偶尔大点儿声完全在健康的人类表达范围内。
Also, I like yelling. Not raging, or even screaming, which I unscientifically distinguish from yelling as being angrier and more sustained. What I'm talking about is a quick cranking up the volume in order to transmit a message that failed to reach the intended recipient in my regular speaking voice.
而且，我喜欢大喊大叫。不是愤怒，甚至不是尖叫，我从科学的角度把它与吼叫区分开来，因为后者是更愤怒，更持久的。我说的是把音量迅速调高，以便用我平常说话的声音把没能传达给收件人的信息传递出去。
Yelling is an instinctual, and universal, way to express unrest. Categorically denying parents this mode of expressing our unrest strikes me as severe, and unfair. So, I keep yelling.
叫喊是一种本能的、普遍的表达不安的方式。断然否认父母这种表达我们不安的方式给我的印象是严重和不公平的。所以，我一直在喊。
According to experts, this doesn't make me a monster.
根据专家的说法，这并不会使我成为一个怪物。
Yes, yelling can be used as a weapon, and a dangerous one at that. Research shows that verbal abuse can, in extreme situations, be as psychologically damaging as physical abuse. But yelling can also be used as a tool, one that lets parents release a little steam and, sometimes, gets kids to listen.
是的，大喊大叫可以作为一种武器，而且是一种危险的武器。研究表明，在极端情况下，言语虐待对心理的伤害与身体虐待一样大。但是大喊大叫也可以作为一种工具，一种让父母释放一些压力的工具，有时，还可以让孩子倾听。
How to yell
如何叫喊
The first rule of yelling is to refrain from critique while doing it, said Elizabeth Gershoff, a professor of human development and family sciences at the University of Texas at Austin and researcher on parental discipline.
德克萨斯大学奥斯汀分校人类发展与家庭科学教授、父母管教研究人员伊丽莎白·格肖夫说，叫喊的第一条规则是在这样做的时候避免批评。
"Get your shoes on!" is, in many circumstances, a perfectly fine thing to yell. "Don't run in the street!," is definitely OK if a kid appears bound for the road.
在很多情况下，“穿上你的鞋子!”是一个完美的叫喊。“不要在街上跑!”，“如果孩子出现在马路上，这绝对没问题。”
This can be OK, Gershoff said, as long as parents "make it clear that we are frustrated with the behavior and not the child itself."
格肖夫说，只要父母“明确表示，我们对孩子的行为感到失望，而不是对孩子本身感到失望”，这是可以接受的。
The second rule of yelling is to consider one's audience. Toddlers are unlikely to understand the substance of the yell, and will only absorb the frustration, or fury, Gershoff explained. Yelling at this age group isn't likely to get them to do something quicker, or stop doing something foolish.
叫喊的第二条规则是考虑听众。格肖夫解释说，蹒跚学步的孩子不太可能理解叫喊的实质内容，他们只会吸收其中的沮丧或愤怒。对这个年龄段的孩子大喊大叫不太可能让他们更快地完成一些事情，或者停止做一些愚蠢的事情。
Also, pay attention to how a child responds to yelling. We are all born with different temperaments, with some of us being far more conflict-averse than others. To some children, a yell is just a parent being loud; to others, it's a personal indictment and it stings.
同时，注意孩子对叫喊的反应。我们生来就有不同的性格，有些人比其他人更厌恶冲突。对一些孩子来说，大喊大叫只是父母太大声了;对另一些人来说，这是一种个人控诉，令人感到刺痛。
Lastly, take into consideration the frequency with which you yell, Gershoff said. A kid who grows up in a yelling-prone family is less likely to take a single instance of yelling personally than a kid who grows up in a quieter family.
最后，考虑一下你喊叫的频率，格肖夫说。在一个爱大喊大叫的家庭中长大的孩子比在一个安静的家庭中长大的孩子更不太可能亲自大喊大叫。
