你总是很忙，以下是(真正)为友谊腾出时间的方法

你总是很忙，以下是(真正)为友谊腾出时间的方法

Friendships are important — not just because it's nice to know someone's in your corner, but because forging and maintaining friendships with people who are outside your biological family can give you fresh perspective and remind you that there are people in the world who you choose to be with — and that they feel the same way about you.

友谊是很重要的--不仅仅是因为知道某人在你身边是件好事，也是因为与你的亲生家庭之外的人建立和维持友谊可以给你新的视角，并且提醒你世界上有很多人选择与你在一起，他们对你也有同样的感觉。

Having friends boosts your ability to roll with life's punches and achieve your dreams. (Photo: Imaake/Shutterstock)

To reap the benefits of friendship — which include greater longevity, better overall mental health and lower anxiety — doesn't require a huge gaggle of people. Most studies have found that two or three good, trusted friends give the same advantages as a greater number. Even one good friend is a beautiful thing, and depending on whether you're an introvert or an extrovert, those one or two people may be more than enough.

要收获友谊带来的好处——包括更长寿、更全面的心理健康和更少的焦虑——并不需要一大群人的吵闹。大多数研究发现，两个或三个好的、值得信任的朋友和更多的朋友具有同样的优势。即使一个好朋友也是一件美好的事情，取决于你是内向还是外向，那一两个人可能就足够了。

But if you move, or your friends' lives change, it can be easy to lose touch. It's pretty common for it to feel tough to maintain friendships as we get older. To deal with that challenge, you have to first deal with the psychological challenges, and then you can get a handle on the logistical challenges.

但是如果你搬家了，或者你朋友的生活发生了变化，你就很容易失去联系。随着年龄的增长，维持友谊变得很困难，这是很常见的。要应对这种挑战，你必须先应对心理上的挑战，然后才能应对后勤上的挑战。

Now, when it comes to practical ways to maintain your connection to friends, what are the nuts and bolts of making that happen?

现在，当涉及到维持你和朋友之间联系的实际方法时，具体是什么呢?

Have a phone date: Obviously, this one is only for those who enjoy a good phone chat, which is something you will already know if your friend likes to do (and not everyone does). But the old phone can work wonders for connecting, especially over time zones or long distances. You can set a weekly time to call or send a quick text to set up a conversation, or you can just be spontaneous about it.

电话约会:很明显，这只适用于那些喜欢电话聊天的人，如果你的朋友喜欢(不是每个人都喜欢)，你就已经知道了。但旧手机在连接方面可以创造奇迹，尤其是在跨越时区或长距离的情况下。你可以设定一个每周的时间打电话或者发一条短信来建立一个对话，或者你也可以随心所欲。

Documenting those times you get together with friends can help you motivate to do it more often. (Photo: VGstockstudio/Shutterstock)

Workout: Friends who exercise together are more likely to keep up a regular exercise routine, and it's just a great way to catch up. I schedule regular hiking dates with a fellow journalist friend, and we hash out our latest story ideas and talk industry gossip while we're getting our heart rates up. The bonus is that we tend to hike for longer than we might on our own — caught up in conversation, we end up going for miles because we're having a fun. The time flies.

锻炼:一起锻炼的朋友更有可能保持规律的锻炼习惯，这是一个很好的方式来弥补。我定期和一位同为记者的朋友一起远足，我们会讨论最新的新闻创意，讨论行业八卦，同时提高心率。这样做的好处是，我们徒步旅行的时间往往比独自旅行的时间要长——沉浸在谈话中，我们最终会徒步数英里，因为我们玩得很开心。时间过得真快。

Run errands together: One of my close friends is a mother to a recently adopted little girl as well as three older kids. She's a newly tenured sociology professor, busy journalist, and she almost never misses a workout — that last one keeps her sane, she says. (As a child-free person with one job, don't ask me how she does it, because I have no idea.) A relaxed dinner out happens occasionally, but more often, I tag along with her while she picks up and drops off one of the kids, and goes to the grocery store. We catch up in the car, while walking behind shopping carts, and unpacking grocery bags in her kitchen. Sometimes I get my groceries at the same time, saving me a trip and gas. It makes the errands more fun for everyone involved. One day, my friend's kids will be grown up and her work will be less frenetic. I'm looking forward to more art-opening or coffee dates when that happens. But importantly, we'll still have a relationship when she gets there.

一起做事:我的一个好朋友是一位母亲，她收养了一个小女孩，还有三个大孩子。她是一位新获得终身教授职位的社会学教授，也是一位忙碌的记者，她几乎从不错过任何一次锻炼——她说，最后一次锻炼让她保持清醒。(作为一个没有孩子、只有一份工作的人，不要问我她是怎么做的，因为我不知道。)偶尔会有一顿轻松的晚餐，但更常见的情况是，我陪着她，让她把一个孩子接回家，然后去杂货店买东西。我们赶着上车，跟在购物车后面走，在她的厨房里打开购物袋。有时我们同时买东西，省了一趟车和汽油。它让每个参与的人都能享受到更多的乐趣。总有一天，我朋友的孩子会长大，她的工作也不会那么疯狂。我期待着更多的艺术开幕或咖啡约会。但重要的是，等她来了我们还能继续交往。

Group time counts: One-on-one time with friends is important to really connect, but group activities can be a fun, low-pressure way to keep in contact in between. And while it can be easy to dismiss a larger gathering where you'll see a number of friends, just having that face-time can be meaningful in itself. So do your best to show up for that brunch or wedding shower. You can also think about meeting up beforehand for a one-on-one with someone you are missing — even a half-hour of time alone with a friend before you see the group can be meaningful.

团体时间很重要:与朋友单独相处的时间对真正建立联系很重要，但是团体活动可以是一种有趣的、低压力的方式来保持联系。虽然你很容易忽视一个有很多朋友的大型聚会，但仅仅是见面本身就很有意义。所以，尽你所能去参加早午餐或婚礼送礼会吧。你也可以考虑提前和你想念的人单独见面——即使是在你见到朋友之前的半小时也是有意义的。

Renting a boat with a group of friends is a fun idea and can make a trip like that much more affordable too. (Photo: DisobeyArt/Shutterstock)

Take a vacation together: I'm dying to do this one, which hasn't happened for me yet. But this is how my partner stays connected to his friends; once or twice a year, these friends, who live all over the United States, meet somewhere in the American West (usually during winter so the northerners can get some sun). They hang out for three or four days straight, and while the first day is catch-up mode, after that, they still have plenty of time for deeper conversation and bonding. I'm pretty jealous of the idea and consider it a goal to reach with my own friends . But group vacations are a growing trend, and lots of people are realizing that getting away with friends can be fun, not to mention a way to keep up valued connections.

一起去度假:我很想去度假，但我还没去。但这就是我的伴侣与朋友保持联系的方式;这些住在美国各地的朋友，每年一两次会在美国西部的某个地方见面(通常是在冬天，这样北方人就能得到一些阳光)。他们会在一起待上三到四天，虽然第一天比较忙，但在那之后，他们仍然有足够的时间进行更深入的交谈和建立联系。我很羡慕这个想法，并认为这是我和自己的朋友达成的一个目标。但集体度假正成为一种日益增长的趋势，许多人意识到与朋友一起出游可能会很有趣，更不用说保持重要关系的方式了。