你可以在10周内改变你的性格

你可以在10周内改变你的性格

Do you wish you could be more outgoing? Or maybe you have a temper and would like to be more levelheaded?

你希望自己更外向吗?或者你有脾气，想要更冷静?

Are you stuck with who you are, or is there really room for change? (Photo: lassedesignen/Shutterstock)

It might seem impossible to change such core aspects of your personality. After all, research shows that the Big Five traits — openness, extraversion, conscientiousness, agreeableness and neuroticism — are largely heritable, with 40 percent to 50 percent of our personality coming from our genes.

似乎不可能改变你性格的这些核心方面。毕竟，研究表明五大性格特征——开放性、外向性、尽责性、亲和性和神经质——在很大程度上是遗传的，我们性格的40%到50%来自于基因。

However, while our personalities are relatively stable, they do change over time, and new research reveals that we can actually elicit that change.

然而，虽然我们的性格相对稳定，但它们确实会随着时间而改变，新的研究表明，我们实际上可以引发这种改变。

How is such change possible?

这种改变是如何可能的?

Freud believed our personalities were developed by age 5. (Photo: bulentevren/Shutterstock)

Personality refers to individual differences in patterns of thinking, feeling and behaving, so altering your personality doesn't necessarily mean reworking your genetic code — it's about changing those mental patterns.

人格指的是思维、感觉和行为模式的个体差异，所以改变你的人格并不一定意味着重新编写你的遗传密码——它是关于改变那些思维模式。

However, it wasn't always believed that such changes were possible.

然而，人们并不总是相信这种改变是可能的。

Sigmund Freud believed that our personalities were fully developed by the age of 5, so whoever we were in kindergarten was the same person we'd be in retirement.

西格蒙德·弗洛伊德认为，我们的性格在5岁之前就已经完全发展成熟了，所以无论我们在幼儿园里是谁，在退休后都会是同一个人。

But today we know this isn't true. As we mature, we all change in predictable ways that are normal responses to life events like working, attending college and having children, which typically cause us to become more conscientious and agreeable and less neurotic.

但今天我们知道这不是真的。随着我们的成熟，我们都会以可预见的方式改变，这是我们对工作、上大学和生儿育女等生活事件的正常反应，这些通常会使我们变得更认真、更随和、更不神经质。

The key is to consistently challenge yourself is to step outside your comfort zone, and this can result in growth.

关键是要不断挑战自己，走出你的舒适区，这能带来成长。

Why it matters

为什么它很重要

By looking at policy through a personality science lens, researchers say we can help answer questions like how do we get children to be kinder and work harder at school? (Photo: FamVeld/Shutterstock)

New research in personality science digs deeper into this concept. The Personality Change Consortium, an international group of researchers committed to advancing understanding of personality change, agree on the need for persistence, but they also consider the influence of major life events. They reach the same conclusion: It's possible, but it's not easy.

人格科学的新研究更深入地探究了这一概念。人格改变联盟，一个致力于促进对人格改变的理解的国际研究小组，同意坚持的必要性，但他们也考虑了生活中重大事件的影响。他们得出了同样的结论:这是可能的，但并不容易。

But the scientists also ask another set of questions: Not just why you might want to change your personality but why public policymakers should recognize that it's possible and how policy should change to reflect that.

但科学家们还提出了另一组问题:不仅是为什么你可能想要改变你的个性，还有为什么公共政策制定者应该认识到这是可能的，以及政策应该如何改变来反映这一点。

Implementing the change

实施变更

Acting comfortable in social situations can help you eventually feel that way. (Photo: Blend Images/Shutterstock)

For example, if you desire to be more extroverted, a therapist might coach you to pretend you're comfortable in social situations and to try striking up a conversation with a stranger. In other words, "fake it till you make it."

例如，如果你想变得更外向，治疗师可能会指导你假装在社交场合很自在，并试着和陌生人搭讪。换句话说，“假装直到你成功”。

The more often you do this, the more new patterns of thinking, feeling and behaving will develop, and new pathways will form in your brain — in short, changing your personality.

你这样做的次数越多，你的思维、感觉和行为就会发展出更多的新模式，新的路径就会在你的大脑中形成——简而言之，就是改变你的个性。

This exercise is similar to what Jason Comely did to overcome an anxiety disorder. As he grew more withdrawn, Comely realized what he feared was rejection and he decided to do something about it — by getting rejected once a day.

这个练习与詹森·科米利克服焦虑症的方法相似。随着他变得越来越孤僻，科米利意识到他害怕的是被拒绝，于是他决定做点什么——每天被拒绝一次。

He started by asking a stranger in a parking lot for a ride. Later, he went on to request discounts at checkouts and ask people for directions.

他先在停车场向一个陌生人要了一辆车。后来，他又去收银台要求打折，向人们问路。

By turning rejection into something he wanted instead of something he feared, Comely changed himself. He even began selling his Rejection Therapy cards to give others the opportunity to challenge themselves to overcome their fears.

通过把拒绝变成他想要的东西，而不是他害怕的东西，科米利改变了自己。他甚至开始出售他的拒绝治疗卡，给别人挑战自己克服恐惧的机会。

But can such changes really last in the long-term?

但这种变化真的能长期持续下去吗?

"We don't know. That has not been studied yet," Brian Little, a psychology professor at the University of Cambridge, told New York magazine. "It's possible that with a lot — as in, many years — of practice, people can retrain themselves to behave opposite to their true natures."

“我们不知道。剑桥大学心理学教授布莱恩·利特尔在接受《纽约》杂志采访时表示。“经过多年的实践，人们有可能重新训练自己，让自己的行为与本性背道而驰。”