从历史因素谈谈让爸爸们多做家务的由来

从历史因素谈谈让爸爸们多做家务的由来

In the past couple of years, our homes have become a key battleground in the fight for gender equality. Who plans the dinners? Folds the laundry? Schedules the doctor's appointments? Probably mom. Who's not particularly happy with this situation? Probably mom.

在过去的几年里，我们的家庭已经成为性别平等斗争的主要战场。谁来做晚餐?谁来叠衣服?谁来预约医生?可能是妈妈。谁对这种情况不是特别满意?可能是妈妈。

Even as women have taken on more work outside their home, they're still doing the bulk of household chores and childcare at home. Dads, to be fair, are putting in more time than their dads. They do roughly three times as much childcare, and more than two times as much housework as fathers in 1965.

尽管女性在家庭之外承担了更多的工作，她们仍然在家里做大量的家务和照顾孩子。公平地说，爸爸们比他们的爸爸投入了更多的时间。他们照顾孩子的次数是1965年的（父亲的）三倍，做家务的时间是1965年的（父亲的）的两倍多。

But at the end of a long day — breakfast, drop-off, work, dinner, cleaning, bedtime — few women have much interest in contemplating generational shifts. What they want is a partner who knows that the soccer jersey needs to be washed before tomorrow's game, and they want a partner who knows that now, without being told.

但在漫长的一天结束时——早餐、接送、工作、晚餐、清洁、就寝——很少有女性有兴趣思考这种代际转换。她们想要的是一个知道明天比赛前要洗足球队服的人，她们想要一个现在就知道这件事的人，而不是被告知（才知道）。

Why don't men help more around the house? In many cases, laziness plays a role. Why worry about soccer jerseys when you know someone else will do it? But to focus only on the lazy factor is to miss the widespread, and deeply entrenched, cultural and structural forces that are behind gender inequality at home.

为什么男人不帮忙多做家务?在很多情况下，是因为懒惰。既然你知道别人会洗球衣，为什么还要担心这件事呢?但是，如果只关注懒惰的因素，就会忽视造成国内性别不平等的广泛而根深蒂固的文化和结构因素。

Complaining about the unwashed soccer jerseys is a reasonable response to this imbalance, but it's not likely to incite much change. The fix needs to be bigger and strategic. Couples need to understand how they ended up in this situation and then coolly, and collaboratively, find their way out.

抱怨未被洗的球衣是对这种不平衡的一种合理的反应，但它不太可能引发太多的变化。解决方案需要更大、更有策略。夫妻需要了解他们在这种情况下是如何结束的，然后冷静地、协作地找到出路。

Take history into consideration

考虑一下历史因素

For much of human history, men and women were both heavily involved in the running of the home and family business, explains Stephanie Coontz, director of research at the Council on Contemporary Families and author of "The Way We Never Were: American Families And The Nostalgia Trap." Don't confuse this for gender equality: Broadly speaking, men still had authority over women.

当代家庭委员会的研究主管、《我们从未有过的方式:美国家庭与怀旧陷阱》一书的作者斯蒂芬妮•库恩茨解释说，在人类历史的很长一段时间里，男性和女性都积极参与家庭与家族企业的经营。不要把这和性别平等混淆了:一般来说，男性权力仍然高于女性。

It's just that men didn't get this authority because they earned money outside the home, while women tended, wage-free, to the kids and the cleaning. Instead, men got their power from hierarchical social institutions, such as religion.

只是男人没有得到这个权力，因为他们在外面挣钱，而女人则无偿地照顾孩子和打扫卫生。相反，男人的权力来自社会等级制度，例如宗教。

Before the 19th century, fathers tended to be heavily involved with domestic activities like feeding the wood stoves, carrying water, teaching their children to read, and maintaining ties to extended family and neighbors.

在19世纪以前，父亲们积极参与家庭活动，如给炉子添柴、挑水、教孩子读书、与大家庭和邻居保持联系。

In other words, they did a lot of what we today consider "emotional labor." Meanwhile, women were often in charge of the financial and marketing side of their family business, which was often agricultural.

换句话说，他们做了很多我们今天所说的“情感工作”。与此同时，女性通常负责家族企业的财务和销售工作，而这种家族企业通常是农业。

Then waged labor outside the house became the norm and fathers were the ones more likely to take these jobs. Women, the breastfeeders and baby gestators, were seen as better off staying at home and, with time, all things domestic began to be seen as feminine.

之后，家庭之外的劳动成为常态，父亲更有可能承担这些工作。女性作为母乳喂养者和婴儿孕育者，被认为最好呆在家里，随着时间的推移，所有的家务开始被认为是女性的。

Moms took over the job of educating children, maintaining social relations, and making sure the home stayed clean and everyone was fed.

妈妈们接管了教育孩子、维持社会关系、确保家里干净、确保每个人都有饭吃的工作。

"Around the early 19th century, men took on this special role as providers and protectors, and with that came a whole ideology. Men began to embrace a masculine identity that was based on not doing women's work," Coontz said.

“大约在19世纪早期，男性承担了作为提供者和保护者的特殊角色，后来变成一种完整的意识形态。男人开始接受一种男性身份，这种男性身份以不做女性的工作为基础。

"Women also began to embrace a new identity: We are the family expert. We know how to raise kids. We know how to change diapers.

“女性也开始接受一种新身份:我们是家庭专家。我们知道如何抚养孩子。我们知道怎么换尿布。”