从自杀的边缘回来，他想要拯救别人
Back from the brink of suicide, he wants to save others
从自杀的边缘回来，他想要拯救别人
Their minds can drift to that dark place, but they hide it well.从自杀的边缘回来，他想要拯救别人
他们的思想可以飘向那个黑暗的地方，但他们隐藏得很好。
Walking among us, they laugh when really they want to cry. They sometimes feel as if they have nothing to live for and struggle in silence. They contemplate the unimaginable: How to end it all. Some put extreme thought into it, going so far as to write goodbye letters.
走在我们中间，他们笑的时候，他们真的想哭。他们有时觉得自己没有什么值得追求的，只是默默地挣扎着。他们思考着难以想象的事情:如何结束这一切。有些人想得很极端，甚至写了告别信。
They come from all walks of life. Some are in big cities, others in small towns. Some hail from wealth, others poverty. All came to a lonely place where they considered taking their own lives.
他们来自各行各业。有些在大城市，有些在小城镇。有些人富裕，有些人贫穷。他们都来到了一个孤独的地方，在那里他们考虑结束自己的生命。
llen Bachman, a 46-year-old antitrust lawyer in the nation's capital, considers himself a survivor. More than a dozen years ago, he tried to kill himself. He was going through a divorce, his father had a heart attack, and he felt alone while traveling in New York City for his high-pressure job.
46岁的莱恩·巴赫曼是美国首都的一名反垄断律师，他认为自己是一名幸存者。十几年前，他曾试图自杀。他正在经历离婚，他的父亲心脏病发作，因为工作压力很大进行纽约之旅时他感到孤独。
一名家庭成员在他差点自杀后发现他倒在酒店房间里。
"When you go through what I went through, it's not just one time," Bachman said. "Once you kick open that door, it's like someone's got a foot in it, and it never completely closes. So when you feel bad, your mind goes to, 'Oh, you can get out of this by killing yourself.' "
巴赫曼说:“当你经历我所经历的一切时，它不止一次。“一旦你踢开了那扇门，它就像被人踩了一脚一样，永远不会完全关闭。所以当你感觉痛苦时，你的大脑就会想，‘哦，你可以通过自杀来摆脱这一切。’”
He's lending his voice now to help others.
他现在在用自己的声音帮助别人。
His life became interesting only in his 40s, he said, and he finds it "just shocking and disturbing" that he could have missed out on all that life has to offer.
他说，他的生活直到40多岁才变得有趣，他发现自己可能错过了生活所能提供的一切，这“令人震惊和不安”。
"All the best times of my life came after me thinking I wanted to kill myself," he said.
“我生命中所有最美好的时光都是在我想自杀之后到来的，”他说。
Like so many who spoke to CNN for this story, he struggled to grapple with the suicide deaths of celebrities Kate Spadeand Anthony Bourdainlast week. For him, it was more personal.
就像许多接受CNN采访的人一样，上周名人凯特·斯佩德和安东尼·波登自杀身亡，他也在努力应对。对他来说，这更是一个私人问题。
巴赫曼读了一本波登的畅销书《厨房机密》，这本书讲述了波登20多年的生活，他在餐馆工作，沉溺于各种恶习，从可卡因、海洛因到酗酒。
The book was an epiphany for Bachman. He said his life was saved because of Bourdain's willingness to share his own struggles. The chef, author and host of CNN's "Parts Unknown" helped Bachman "to put my own problems in context and realize there was so much in my life yet to come," he said.
这本书对巴赫曼来说是一种顿悟。他说他的生命因为波登愿意分享他自己挣扎的故事而被拯救了。作为CNN“未知的部分”节目的厨师、作者和主持人帮助巴赫曼“把自己的问题放在故事背景中，意识到生活中还有很多事情要做，”他说。
That is a message others who've been on the brink of suicide shared with CNN: to let people know that their lives are worth saving.
这是其他处于自杀边缘的人与CNN分享的信息:让人们知道他们的生命是值得拯救的。
Bachman is one of six survivors of depression who spoke to CNN to offer hope and guidance to a nation reckoning with the realities of suicide. One said this moment should act as an awakening on suicide prevention in America.
巴赫曼是六名抑郁症幸存者之一，他在接受CNN采访时向这个正视自杀现实的国家提供了希望和指导。有人说，这一刻应该成为美国预防自杀的一个觉醒时刻。
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