吃饭时你应该问你的孩子5个问题

吃饭时你应该问你的孩子5个问题

It’s time to eat. Where are the kids?

该吃饭了。孩子们在哪里?

Parents: Do you routinely sit down to family meals? Research suggests doing so may be beneficial, helping bolster kids’ social skills while improving their eating habits. An American Academy of Pediatrics report in the journal Pediatrics last year noted that regular family meals may help ensure adolescents eat more fruits and veggies, and are associated with a decreased risk of developing eating disorders, particularly for girls.

父母:你经常坐下来和家人一起吃饭吗?研究表明，这样做可能是有益的，有助于增强孩子的社交能力，同时改善他们的饮食习惯。美国儿科学会(American Academy of Pediatrics)去年在《儿科》(Pediatrics)杂志上发表的一份报告指出，定期的家庭聚餐可能有助于确保青少年多吃水果和蔬菜，并与降低饮食失调的风险有关，尤其是对女孩而言。

What is something interesting ( or difficult) you did today?

你今天做了什么有趣(或困难)的事?

While questions you ask will vary depending on your child’s age, this can be a great place to start. “Sharing what your child's day was like and what is important to them grows your relationship,” says Dr. Gail Saltz, a clinical associate professor of psychiatry at the Weill Cornell Medical College in New York City.

虽然你问的问题会因孩子的年龄而有所不同，但这是一个很好的开始。“分享你孩子的一天是什么样的，以及对他们来说什么是重要的，会增进你们之间的关系，”纽约市威尔康奈尔医学院(Weill Cornell Medical College)的精神病学临床副教授盖尔萨尔茨(Gail Saltz)博士说。

What's on your mind today?

今天你在想什么?

Make it clear your children can talk about anything and that you’ll listen. This is not conversational entrapment – getting a kid to spill the beans, only to come down on the child. Experts say it’s important kids feel understood, and can openly share whatever may be on their minds. The topics needn’t be serious or heavy, either.

明确你的孩子可以谈论任何事情，你会倾听。这不是对话陷阱——让一个孩子说漏嘴，结果却落在孩子身上。专家表示，让孩子感到被理解是很重要的，他们可以公开分享自己的想法。话题不必太严肃或沉重。

If your child relays difficulties he’s having with certain classes, tell him about subjects you struggled with. And share age-appropriate stories from your childhood.

如果你的孩子转述他在某些课程上遇到的困难，告诉他你曾经在课程上遇到的困难。分享你童年时代与年龄相符的故事。

Who did you sit with at lunch today?

今天你和谁坐在一起吃午饭?

Experts emphasize parents ask questions that can't be answered with a simple “yes” or “no.” “The reason you need to ask specific questions is because otherwise you will get one-word answers that won't really let you know how your child is doing,” says Susan Bartell, a child psychologist with a practice in Port Washington, New York.

专家强调，对父母提出的问题，不能简单地用“是”或“不是”来回答。在纽约华盛顿港工作的儿童心理学家苏珊·巴特尔说:“你需要问一些具体问题的原因是，否则你得到的答案只有一个词，而不能真正让你知道你的孩子在做什么。”

“Kids and teens don't really want to make the effort to share the details of school, especially when some of the details may be upsetting, embarrassing or unpleasant.” She adds: “Don't grill your child, but if you hit on something that seems concerning (‘I sat alone at lunch’) it's important to follow up.”

“孩子们和青少年并不是真的想要分享学校的细节，尤其是当一些可能会令人沮丧、尴尬或不愉快的细节的时候。她补充道:“不要拷问你的孩子，但如果你偶然发现了一些似乎令人担忧的事情(比如‘我独自一人吃午饭’)，追究下去是很重要的。”

Can I tell you about something crazy that happened to me today?

我能告诉你今天发生在我身上的一件疯狂的事吗?

“Kids are developmentally quite self-centered. Learning to care about others starts at home, but only if they are shown how to care about the lives of others,” Bartell says.

“孩子在成长过程中非常以自我为中心。学会关心他人始于家庭，但前提是要向他们展示如何关心他人的生活。

“It is up to you to show them that it is important that they care about your world. This not only teaches them to think beyond themselves, it also helps them feel good that you want them as an audience. In the same way, you can ask their opinions, especially as they get a bit older.”

“你要让他们知道，关心你的世界是很重要的。这不仅教会他们超越自我思考，还能帮助他们感觉良好，因为你想让他们成为你的听众。用同样的方法，你可以问他们的意见，尤其是当他们长大一点的时候。”