If You Love Her Enough 只要你足够爱她
If You Love Her Enough 只要你足够爱她
◎ Bill Walls
My friend John always has something to tell me. He knows so much that young men have to have older and more worldly wise men to tell them, for instance, who to trust, how to care for others, and how to live life to the fullest.
我的朋友约翰总是喜欢给我讲道理。他非常清楚年轻人需要更年长、更睿智的人们给予告诫，告诉他们诸如要信任谁，要怎样关爱他人，要如何充实地生活等等。
Recently, John lost his wife Janet. For eight years she fought against cancer, but in the end her sickness had the last word.
最近，约翰失去了妻子珍妮特。八年来她一直和癌症抗争，但最终还是被病魔打败了。
One day John took out a folded piece of paper from his wallet. He had found it, so he told me, when he tidied up some drawers at home. It was a small love letter Janet had written. The note could look like a school girl’s scrawls about her dream guy. All that was missing was a drawing of a heart with the names John and Janet written in it. But the small letter was written by a woman who had had seven children; a woman who fought for her life and who probably only had a few months left to live.
一天，约翰从钱包里拿出一张折叠起来的纸。他告诉我说，他在家收拾抽屉时发现了这张纸条。这是珍妮特写的一封简短的情书。这封信的内容看上去像是一个女学生随便写给自己意中人的那样，唯一缺少的就是画上一颗写有约翰和珍妮特名字、被丘比特之箭穿过的爱心了。但这封简短的信，却是由一个拥有七个孩子的母亲——一个只剩下几个月生命，却仍旧与病魔奋力抗争的女人所写。
It was also a beautiful recipe for how to keep a marriage together.
这封信同时也是一个维持婚姻和谐的美丽秘诀。
Janet’s description of her husband begins thus: “Loved me. Took care of me. Worried about me.”
珍妮特对自己丈夫的描述是这样开始的：“他爱我，照顾我，为我担忧。”
Even though John always had a ready answer, he never joked about cancer apparently.
即便约翰对一切都心知肚明，他也从来不公然地对那癌症开玩笑。
Sometimes he came home in the evening to find Janet in the middle of one of those depressions cancer patients so often get. In no time he got her into the car and drove her to her favorite restaurant.
有时他傍晚回到家，发现珍妮特正处于癌症病人经常会陷入的沮丧状态中。他会立马拉她上车，然后带她去她最爱的餐厅。
He showed consideration for her, and she knew it. You cannot hide something for someone who knows better.
他很体谅她，她清楚这一点。当别人比你更了解某样东西时，你是隐藏不了这样东西的。
“Helped me when I was ill.” the next line reads. Perhaps Janet wrote this while the cancer was in one of the horrible and wonderful lulls. Where everything is——almost——as it used to be, before the sickness broke out, and where it doesn’t hurt to hope that everything is over, maybe forever.
“当我生病时，他帮助我。”下一行是。也许珍妮特写这句话时，她的癌症正处于一次难得的平静期。这个时候就如癌症经常出现的情况一样，在它爆发之前，人们总是满怀信心地希望这一切都已经过去，或许是永远都过去了。
“Forgave me a lot.”
“包容我许多的不对。”
“Stood by my side.”
“陪在我的身边。”
And a piece of good advice for everyone who looks on giving constructive criticism as a kind of sacred duty: “Always praising.”
还有一条建议，这是送给所有把提供积极性意见作为一种神圣职责的人的：“不停地赞美。”
“Made sure I had everything I needed.” she goes on to write.
“确保我拥有所需要的一切。”她继续写着。
After that she has turned over the paper and added: “Warmth. Humor. Kindness. Thoughtfulness.”
在那之后她把纸翻过来接着写：“温暖。幽默。仁慈。贴心。”
And then she writes about the husband she has lived with and loved most of her life: “Always there for me when I needed you.”
然后她描述了生命中大部分时间与自己共同生活的丈夫——她最爱的人：“在我需要你的时候，你总是在我身边。”
The last words she wrote sum up all the others. I can see her for me when she adds thoughtfully: “Good friend.”
最后的话总结了这封信。她写道：“亲爱的朋友。”我似乎能亲眼看到她是如何若有所思地加上这句话的。
I stand beside John now, and cannot even pretend to know how it feels to lose someone who is as close to me as Janet was to him. I need to hear what he has to say much more than he needs to talk.
我现在站在约翰的旁边，甚至都不能假装了解失去亲密朋友的感觉，就像他失去珍妮特一样。约翰需要倾诉，他必须要说出一些话，而我更急切地要听他的那些话。
“John,” I ask. “How do you stick together with someone through 38 years——not to mention the sickness? How do I know if I can bear to stand by my wife’s side if she becomes sick one day?”
“约翰，”我问，“你是如何和一个人相守度过这38年的——更别提还有那场疾病了？我要如何知道当我妻子有一天也生病了，我是否也能站在她的身旁？”
“You can,” he says quietly. “If you love her enough, you can.”
“你会的，”他平静地说，“只要你足够爱她，你会的。”
