Return to Paradise　重返爱天堂

Return to Paradise　重返爱天堂

◎ Eliza Riley

Lisa stood facing the Caribbean Sea, feeling the faint breeze against her face; her eyes were shut and she felt the white sand warm between her bare toes. The place was beautiful beyond belief, but it was still unable to ease the grief she felt as she remembered the last time she had been here.

丽莎伫立在加勒比海边，感受微风轻拂脸颊——她闭上双眼，感到裸露的脚趾间拥满了温暖的沙粒。这个地方美得简直令人难以置信，但回忆起上次在这儿的情景，仍然无法抚慰心中的伤痛。

She had married James right here on this spot three years ago to the day. Dressed in a simple white shift dress, miniature white roses attempting to tame her long dark curls, Lisa had been happier than she had ever thought possible. James was even less formal, yet utterly irresistible in creased summer trousers and a loose white cotton shirt. His dark hair was slightly ruffled and his eyes were full of adoration as he looked at his bride to be. The justice of the peace had read their vows as they held hands and laughed at the sheer joy of being young, in love and staying in a five star resort on the Caribbean island of the Dominicana Republic. They had seen the years blissfully stretching ahead of them, together forever. They planned their children, two she said; he said four so they compromised on three (two girls and a boy of course); where they would live, the travelling they would do together—it was all certain, or so they had thought then.

三年前的今天，丽莎就是在这里嫁给詹姆斯的。她穿着朴素的白色长礼裙，小小的白玫瑰服帖地点缀着她又黑又长的鬈发，如此的幸福感是她从未企及的。詹姆斯的装扮甚至不那么正式，一条带褶的清凉夏裤和一件宽松的白色棉质衬衫，配上一头稍稍凌乱的黑发，然而他看上去依然是魅力不挡。当他凝视着自己的新娘时，眼神里充满了爱意。他们手牵着手，聆听太平绅士宣读他们的誓言。他们为年轻而欢呼，为爱情而雀跃，为身处多米尼加共和国加勒比海岛的五星级胜地而陶醉。他们似乎看见未来的幸福之路在眼前展开，直至相携到老。他们计划着生孩子的事，她说要两个，他却想要四个，最终各退一步，决定生三个（当然是两女一男）。他们计划着会在哪里生活，计划着一起去旅行——所有事情都显得顺理成章，或者说他们当时就想到这些。

But that seemed such a long time ago now. A lot can change in just a few years—a lot of heartache can change a person and drive a wedge through the strongest ties, break even the deepest love. Three years to the day and they had returned, though this time not for the beachside marriages the island was famous for, but for one of its equally popular quickie divorces.

但这一切看起来是许久以前的事了。短短几年时间就可能发生许多变故。刻骨铭心的伤痛可以改变一个人，可以破坏最牢固的关系，甚至可以摧毁最深挚的爱情。三年后的今天，他们又回来了，但并非因为此地闻名的海滨婚礼，而是因为此地同样闻名的闪电离婚。

Lisa let out a sigh that was filled with pain and regret. What could she do but move on, find a new life and new dreams?—the old one was beyond repair. How could this beautiful place, with its lush green coastline, eternity of azure blue sea and endless sands be a place for the agony she felt now?

丽莎深深地叹了一口气，充满了痛苦和悲伤。除了继续前行，寻找新生活和新梦想，她还能怎么做呢？——毕竟旧的已经无法弥补。这里有繁茂的绿色海岸线、无边的蔚蓝大海和绵延的沙滩，可是现在，如此美丽的地方怎么就让她备感痛苦？

The man stood watching under the palm tree. He couldn’t take his eyes off the dark-haired woman he saw standing at the water’s edge, apparently gazing out to sea as though she was waiting for something—or someone. She was beautiful, with her slim figure dressed in a loose flowing cotton dress, her crazy hair and bright blue eyes not far off the color of the sea itself. It wasn’t her looks that attracted him though; he came across many beautiful women through his work as a freelance photographer. It was her loneliness and intensity that lured him. Even at some distance he was aware that she was different from any other woman he could ever meet.

一个男子站在棕榈树下，目不转睛地注视着这位黑发女子：她伫立在水边，眺望着大海，显然像是在等待什么——或是某人。她很美，修长的身段穿着一袭宽松的棉质裙，头发在风中疯狂地乱舞，明亮的蓝眼睛美得简直可以与海洋的颜色相媲美。然而，吸引他的并非是她的容貌，作为一名自由摄影师，因为工作上的关系，他见过的美女无数。吸引他的是她的落寞和深情。尽管隔着一些距离，他仍能感觉到，她不同于他所见过的任何其他女性。

Lisa sensed the man approaching even before she turned around. She had been aware of him standing there staring at her and had felt strangely calm about being observed. She looked at him and felt the instant spark of connection she had only experienced once before. He walked slowly towards her and they held each other’s gaze. It felt like meeting a long lost friend—not a stranger on a strange beach.

未曾转过身来，丽莎便察觉到了男人在靠近。她早已发觉他站在远处注视着她，奇怪的是，她并没有因为被注视而感到不自在。她看着他，瞬间闪过一丝心灵相通的火花，这样的碰撞以前只有过一次。他慢慢地向她走近，两人的目光交接在一起。他们就像见到一个失去联络很久的朋友——而不是在陌生的地方遇见一个陌生人。

Later, sitting at one of the many bars on the resort, sipping the local cocktails they began to talk. First pleasantries—their hotels, the quality of the food and friendliness of the locals. Their conversation was strangely hesitant considering the naturalness and confidence of their earlier meeting. Onlookers, however, would have detected the subtle flirtation as they mirrored each other’s actions and looked directly into each other’s eyes. Only later, after the alcohol had had its loosening effect, did the conversation deepen. They talked of why they were here and finally, against her better judgment, Lisa opened up about her heartache of the past year and how events had led her back to the place where she had married the only man she believed she could ever love. She told him of things that had been locked deep inside her, that she had so far been able to tell no one. She told him how she had felt after she had lost her baby.

后来，他们在诸多酒吧中找了一间坐了下来，品尝着当地的鸡尾酒，开始交谈。最初是谈论一些有趣的事——聊他们住的酒店，饮食的质量和当地人的友好热情。再深入下去时，相比之前见面的自然和从容，他们的谈话却莫名地犹豫不前了。尽管如此，从他们端详对方的行为和直视对方眼睛的神态中，旁观者还是能察觉到一丝微妙的暧昧。直到酒精逐渐发挥了让人放松的效力，谈话才继续深入下去。他们谈论着来此地的原因，最后，虽然明知不太适宜，丽莎仍决定打开心扉，将她去年所经历的痛苦倾诉而出，以及又回到这里的原因——在这儿，她嫁给了一个曾以为会深爱一生的男人。她将一直锁在心底、至今仍无法向他人启齿的话倾吐了出来，并向他倾诉失去孩子之后的悲痛心情。

She was six months pregnant and the happiest she had ever been when the pains had started. She was staying with her mother as James was working out of town. He hadn’t made it back in time. The doctor had said it was just one of those things and that they could try again. But how could she when she couldn’t even look James in the eye? She hated him then, for not being there, for not hurting as much as her; but most of all she hated him for looking so much like the tiny baby boy that she held for just three hours before they took him away. All through the following months she had withdrawn from her husband, family, and friends—not wanting to recover from the pain she felt—that would have been a betrayal of her son. At the funeral she had refused to stand next to her husband and the next day she had left him.

那时她已怀孕六个月，还是世界上最幸福的人，直到事情发生的前一刻。当时她和母亲待在一起，詹姆斯在城外工作，没能及时赶回来。医生说这只是很平常的事情，他们还有机会再试一次。然而她无法做到，她甚至都无法直视詹姆斯的眼睛。她恨他，恨他当时不在身边，恨他没有自己那么伤心，更恨他看起来那么像仅仅在自己怀里躺了三个小时就被抱走的儿子。之后的几个月里，她远离了丈夫、家庭和朋友，不愿从伤痛中走出来——她觉得那样做是对儿子的背叛。在葬礼上，她拒绝站在丈夫旁边。第二天，她便离开了他。

Looking up, Lisa could see her pain reflected in the man’s eyes. For the first time in months she didn’t feel alone, she felt the unbearable burden begin to lift from her—only a bit, but it was a start. She began to believe that maybe she had a future after all and maybe it could be with this man, with his kind hazel eyes, wet with their shared tears.

抬起头，丽莎看到男人的双眼中映满了自己的伤痛。几个月来，她第一次不再感到孤独，她感到压得她喘不过气来的担子开始减轻——尽管只有一点点，但起码是一个开始。也许她开始相信自己还是有未来的，也许是和眼前这个男人，也许是和他这双温柔的褐色眼睛——湿润着他们共同的泪花。

They had come here to dissolve their marriage, but maybe there was hope. Lisa stood up and took James by the hand and led him away from the bar towards the beach where they had made their vows to each other three years ago. Tomorrow she would cancel the divorce; tonight they would work on renewing their promises.

他们来此本为结束他们的婚姻，但也许还有希望。她站起身，牵起詹姆斯的手，领着他走出酒吧，走向他们三年前互相许下诺言的沙滩。明天她会取消离婚，今晚，他们将重续承诺。

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