让孩子乖乖去上学的十个方法

Not attending school for longer periods can have negative effects on the child's psychological, social and academic development. Post-doctoral researcher Trude Havik at the Norwegian Centre for Learning Environment and Behavioural Research in Education at the University of Stavanger has been studying the phenomenon of school refusal. She gives us ten ways to prevent it and help pupils back to school.

长期不上学会对孩子的心理、社交和学业发展造成不良影响。来自挪威斯塔万格大学学习环境和行为研究中心的博士后研究员Trude Havik研究了“不想上学”现象，也称“学校恐惧症”。她给出了十个方法和建议来预防和补救。

1. Talk with your child

1.和孩子聊聊

Try to find out why he or she refuses to go to school. Has something happened? Ask if your child has any friends at school. Take your time and be specific when asking questions.

试着找出孩子不愿意去学校的原因。是不是发生了什么?问问你的孩子在学校有没有朋友。聊的时候要有耐心，问得具体一点，多给孩子一些时间。

2. Contact the school as soon as possible

2.尽快和学校联系

"Ask if they have noticed any change of behaviour in your child, both regarding school work and in social interchange," says Havik.

“问学校是否注意到孩子的行为有什么变化，不只是课业表现，还有社交互动方面，”Havik说。家长应该和学校联系，共同确定孩子不愿意或者不能去上学的原因。

Parents should contact the school, and they should together find out why the child does not want to or is unable to attend school.

父母应该联系学校，他们应该一起找出孩子为什么不想上学或不能上学的原因。

3. Make an agreement

3.作出约定

Complaints about stomach pain or headache are often among the first indications of school refusal. In case of such complaints, you should make an agreement that your child will attend school, but can return home if the pain gets worse during the day. The teacher must also be informed about the agreement.

孩子不想上学时经常会抱怨肚子疼或者头疼。你可以跟孩子约定，先去上学，如果之后还是肚子疼或者头疼再回家。老师也得知道这个约定。

"Going to school rarely worsens the child's condition. Making sure that children go to school is important because non-attendance leads to more of the same," says Havik.

“孩子上学后疼痛加剧的情况基本没有。让孩子去到学校是很重要的，因为有一就有二，一次不去，以后就会经常不去，”Havik说

"The longer a pupil is absent, the harder it is to come back."

“孩子缺勤时间越长，就越难重回校园。”

4. Exert mild pressure

4.温和地施加压力

Stay firm.

态度要坚定。

"However, parents can't be expected to force their children if the school does not follow up. This might apply if a child is subjected to bullying, feels unhappy or does not get the follow-up he or she needs.

“不过，如果学校不跟进的话，也很难期待家长催着孩子上学。”比如说孩子在学校受到霸凌、感到不开心或者没有获得需要的关心时。

If the teacher does not respond to your concerns, you should ask for a meeting with the headmaster," says Havik.

“如果老师对你的担心置之不理的话，你可以和校长约见一下。”Havik说。

5. Don't make staying at home an attractive option

5.别让孩子在家待得太开心

"If children are allowed to sleep in and, for example, bake together with their mothers, staying at home during school time might be too enjoyable," says Havik.

“要是孩子可以在家睡大觉，或者和妈妈一起烤蛋糕的话，不上学就有点太开心了。”Havik说。

"Make staying at home resemble a normal school day to make it less tempting. When the school day is over, you can enjoy yourselves.

“要让在家的时候跟在学校差不多，不要那么悠闲。到了放学时间，再让孩子放松玩。”

6. Take your child to the doctor

6.带孩子去医院

A child that complains about stomach pain or headache should undergo a medical examination. However, he or she should still try to attend school during the examination period," Havik believes.

“要是孩子说肚子疼或者头疼，就带他去医院做个体检。不过，体检结果出来之前，还是得去学校。”Havik认为。

7. Business as usual

7.照常学习

If your child stays at home, it is important to get up at the usual time and prepare for a new day in the same way as when she or he goes to school. Get your child to do his or her school work, and try to follow the class' curriculum.

要是孩子不上学留在家里，和去学校的日子一样按时起床并为一天做准备是很重要的。让孩子做做回家作业，试着跟上学习进度。

8. Be positive about school

8.想想上学好的方面

When at home, focus on the positive aspects and what your child likes about school, teachers and classmates.

在家的时候，多谈谈学校里好的方面，包括孩子喜欢学校里的什么，哪些老师，哪些同学等等。

9. Good routines

9.维持良好日程

It is important that the same thing happens every night at bedtime and in the morning. Your child should go to bed at a regular time and get enough sleep. Children should not be allowed to spend a lot of time on their mobile phones or digital tablets before bedtime.

很重要的一件事是，保证每天的睡觉和起床时间一致。应该定时上床，保证睡眠时间。睡前不应该玩很久手机或者电脑。

10. Don't feel guilty

10。不要感到内疚

"When a child refuses to go to school, this is never down to one person or one simple reason. It is often a complex matter. Feelings of guilt will not make things better, neither for the adults nor the child," says Havik.

“当孩子不想上学时，一般都不只因为一个人或一件事。大多时候，原因都很复杂。不管是孩子还是家长，感到愧疚都没什么好处。”Havik说。

Parents of children who refuse to go to school need to know that they are not the only ones in this situation.

这些孩子和家长都应该知道，很多人都面临着同样的问题。

"They also need to know that early help, working together with the school and being open about difficult issues, including conditions at home, is important for getting the child back to school as soon as possible."

“他们还应该知道，早期干预、和学校合作、坦诚讨论严肃话题，还有保证在家时的状态，都是让孩子尽早返校的好办法。”