双语·《刀锋》 第六章 八

CHAPTER SIX 8
第六章 八

Larry had been silent for a few minutes, and unwilling to hurry him, I waited. Presently he gave me a friendly little smile as though he had suddenly once more become aware of me.
拉里沉默了下来，有几分钟没有说话。我不愿意催促他，便耐心地等待着。过了一会儿，他冲我莞尔一笑，就好像突然才意识到我在跟前似的。

“When I got down to Travancore I found I needn't have asked for information about Shri Ganesha. Everyone knew of him.For many years he'd lived in a cave in the hills, but finally he'd been persuaded to move down to the plain where some charitable person had given him a plot of land and had built a little adobe house for him.It was a long way from Trivandrum, the capital, and it took me all day, first by train and then by bullock cart, to get to the Ashrama.I found a young man at the entrance of the compound and asked him if I could see the Yogi.I'd brought with me the basket of fruit which is the customary gift to offer.In a few minutes the young man came back and led me into a longhall with windows all around it.In one corner Shri Ganesha sat in the attitude of meditation on a raised dais covered with a tiger skin.‘I've been expecting you，’he said.I was surprised, but supposed my friend of Madura had told him something about me.But he shook his head when I mentioned his name.I presented my fruit and he told the young man to take it away.We were left alone and he looked at me without speaking.I don’t know how long the silence lasted.It might have been for half an hour.I’ve told you what he looked like；what I haven’t told you is the serenity that he irradiated, the goodness, the peace, the selflessness.I was hot and tired after my journey, but gradually I began to feel wonderfully rested.Before he’d said another word I knew that this was the man I’d been seeking.”
“我赶到特拉凡哥尔，发现没必要打听希瑞·格涅沙的下落。说起他，路人皆知。起初，他进入深山，在一个山洞里隐居，一住就是好多年。后来，有人劝说他移居平原，一位施主舍出一块地，给他盖了座土坯房。那儿离首府特里凡得琅路途遥遥，我花了一整天的时间，先是乘火车，后又坐牛车，终于到了他的静修处。在院子的入口处，我碰见一个年轻人，问他能不能拜谒静修者。此行，我带来了一篮子水果作为见面礼。几分钟后，那个年轻人走回来，把我领到了一个狭长的大厅里，四下里开着一扇扇的窗户。在大厅的一角，只见希瑞·格涅沙端坐于一个蒙着虎皮的台子上，正在冥想。‘正在恭候你的到来呢。’他启口说道。我先是感到诧异，继而心想一定是马都拉的那个朋友说起我来着，于是便向他提到了那位朋友的名字，谁知他摇头表示不认识。我把水果呈上，他吩咐那个年轻人收走。大厅里只剩下我们俩，他一句话也不说，默默地望着我。不知道这种沉默的局面持续了有多长时间，大概有半个小时吧。以前我对你说过他的情况，但是却没有提到他的气质——他浑身散发出的气息是宁静、善良、平和以及无私。我一路赶来，觉得又热又累，而后来逐渐静下来，感到出奇地放松。没等他再说任何话，我就意识到他正是我寻找的人。”

“Did he speak English?”I interrupted.
“他会说英语吗？”我插话问道。

“No. But, you know, I'm pretty quick at languages, I'd picked up enough Tamil to understand and make myself understood in the South.At last he spoke.
不会。不过，你知道，我学语言是相当快的。那时我已经掌握了一些泰米尔语，在南方能听得懂别人的话，别人也知道我说的是什么。在沉默了许久之后，他终于开了口。

“‘What have you come here for?'he asked.
‘你来这儿有何贵干？’他问道。

“I began to tell him how I'd come to India and how I'd passed my time for three years；how, on report of their wisdom and sanctity, I'd gone to one holy man after another and had found no one to give me what I looked for. He interrupted me. “‘All that I know. There is no need to tell me.What have you come here for?'
我向他讲述了自己来印度的经历，讲述了我在印度三年来的遭遇。我说自己四处打听智者和圣贤，然后逐一拜访，结果发现无人能够解答我心中的疑问。讲到此处，他打断了我的话说道：‘这些我都知道，不必再讲。你来这儿有何贵干？’

“‘So that you may be my Guru，'I answered.
‘是想请你做我的导师。’我回答。

“‘Brahman alone is the Guru，'he said.
‘只有婆罗门才能为人导师。’他说。

“He continued to look at me with a strange intensity and then suddenly his body became rigid, his eyes seemed to turn inwards, and I saw that he'd fallen into the trance which the Indians call Samadhi and in which they hold the duality of subject and object vanishes and you become Knowledge Absolute. I was sitting cross-legged on the floor, in front of him, and my heart beat violently.After how long a time I don't know he sighed and I realized that he had recovered normal consciousness.He gave me a glance sweet with loving-kindness.
他一直在盯着我看，神情古怪、专注，后来他的身体突然变得硬挺挺的，眼睛似乎转为内视，看得出他已进入印度人所说的入定状态。进入这种状态，一个人会物我两忘，成为‘认知’和‘无限’。我席地盘膝而坐，面向着他，心里怦怦直跳。过了不知有多长时间，他轻轻发出一声叹息，我情知他已恢复了常态。他望了我一眼，目光柔和，里面包含着慈悲和爱。

“‘Stay，'he said.‘They will show you where you may sleep.'
‘那就住下来吧。’他说道，‘他们会告诉你歇宿的地方。’

“I was given as a dwelling-place the shack in which Shri Ganesha had lived when first he came down to the plain. The hall in which he now passed both day and night had been built when disciples gathered around him and more and more people, attracted by his fame, came to visit him.So that I mightn't be conspicuous I adopted the comfortable Indian dress and I got so sunburnt that unless your attention was drawn to me you might have taken me for a native.I read a great deal.I meditated.I listened to Shri Ganesha when he chose to talk；he didn't talk very much, but he was always willing to answer questions and it was wonderfully inspiring to listen to him.It was like music in your ears.Though in his youth he had himself practised very severe austerities he did not enjoin them on his disciples.He sought to wean them from the slavery of selfhood, passion, and sense, and told them that they could acquire liberation by tranquillity, restraint, renunciation, resignation, by steadfastness of mind and by an ardent desire for freedom.People used to come from the nearby town three or four miles away, where there was a famous temple to which great crowds flocked once a year for a festival；they came from Trivandrum and from far-off places to tell him their troubles, to ask his advice, to listen to his teaching；and all went away strengthened in soul and at peace with themselves.What he taught was very simple.He taught that we are all greater than we know and that wisdom is the means to freedom.He taught that it is not essential to salvation to retire from the world, but only to renounce the self.He taught that work done with no selfish interest purifies the mind and that duties are opportunities afforded to man to sink his separate self and become one with the universal self.But it wasn't his teaching that was so remarkable；it was the man himself, his benignity, his greatness of soul, his saintliness.His presence was a benediction.I was very happy with him.I felt that at last I had found what I wanted.The weeks, the months passed with unimaginable rapidity.I proposed to stay either till he died, and he told us that he did not intend very much longer to inhabit his perishable body, or till I received illumination, the state when you have at last burst the bonds of ignorance, and know with a certainty there is no disputing that you and the Absolute are one.”
“分给我的下榻处就是希瑞·格涅沙最初来到平原上时所住过的那间土坯房。他现在住的厅堂（他不分日夜都待在此处）是后来门徒越来越多，慕名赶来参拜的人络绎不绝的时候，特意为他建造的。为了不至于引人注目，我改穿了舒适的印度服装，把皮肤晒得黝黑，不注意看，你会把我当成本地人呢。我读了许多经卷，静下心来冥想。希瑞·格涅沙有谈兴的时候，我便聆听他的教诲。他不太爱说话，但回答你的提问，他会乐此不疲。听他的教诲，你会茅塞顿开。他的话语如音乐般悦耳。他年轻时严于律己，过着清苦的生活，但对弟子却不刻意要求，只是劝导他们要摆脱私心、情欲、声色的奴役，教导他们应该静修、克制、谦虚、超脱，一心一意、孜孜以求地追求自由，最终得到解脱。人们纷纷从三四英里开外的一个临近小镇赶来参拜（那个镇上有座名寺，逢年过节都会有大量徒众进寺烧香磕头）；也有人从特里凡得琅以及天涯海角赶来见他，向他倾诉自己的苦难，寻求良方妙策，聆听他的教诲。那些人来时忧虑重重，走时心情舒展，内心一片祥和。他的教诲言简意赅。他告诉我们，说人之伟大超出人之想象，修得智慧之身，便可获得解脱。他说要脱离苦海并不一定要出家，只需去掉一个‘我’字；做事不怀私欲，便会获得纯洁之心，舍弃小我，成就大我，就能畅行天下。不过，令人感触最深的还不是他的教诲，而是他的为人，是他的慈祥、气度和圣洁。和他相遇，真是上天的赐福。同他在一起，我感到十分幸福。我觉得自己如愿以偿，实现了人生目标。日月如梭，光阴似箭，一个星期接着一个星期，一个月接着一个月倏忽而逝。我打算住到他圆寂（他说他不准备久留于这个臭皮囊之中），或者说住到一朝大彻大悟，意即冲破愚昧的藩篱，深信不疑地感到自己已与‘无限’融为一体。”

“And then?”
“以后会怎么样呢？”

“Then, if what they say is true, there is nothing more. The soul's course on earth is ended and it will return no more.”
“以后嘛，如果他们所言不虚，一切就不复存在。灵魂在尘世的旅途结束，一朝逝去，永不复返。”

“And is Shri Ganesha dead?”I asked.
“希瑞·格涅沙圆寂了吗？”

“Not so far as I know.”
“据我所知，尚未圆寂。”

As he spoke he saw what was implied in my question and gave a light laugh. He went on after a moment's hesitation, but in such a manner as led me at first to suppose that he wished to avoid answering the second question that he well knew was on the tip of my tongue, the question, of course, whether he had received illumination.
他说完，意识到我的问话别有深意，于是淡然一笑。犹豫片刻之后，他又接着说了下去，不过语气有所不同，让我一开始以为他一定是不愿回答我很可能会问到的第二个问题，也就是问他是否已大彻大悟。

“I didn't stay at the Ashrama continuously. I was lucky enough to make the acquaintance of a native forestry officer whose permanent residence was on the outskirts of a village at the foot of the mountains.He was a devotee of Shri Ganesha and when he could get away from his work came and spent two or three days with us.He was a nice fellow and we had long talks.He liked to practise his English on me.After I'd known him for some time, he told me that the forestry service had a bungalow up in the mountains and if ever I wanted to go there to be by myself he would give me the key.I went there now and then.It was a two-day journey；first you had to go by bus to the forestry officer's village, then you had to walk, but when you got there it was magnificent in its grandeur and its solitude.I took what I could in a knapsack on my back and hired a bearer to carry provisions for me, and I stayed till they were exhausted.It was only a log cabin with a cookhouse behind it and for furniture there was nothing but a trestle bed on which to put your sleeping-mat, a table, and a couple of chairs.It was cool up there and at times it was pleasant to light a fire at night.It gave me a wonderful thrill to know that there wasn't a living soul within twenty miles of me.At night I used often to hear the roar of a tiger or the racket of elephants as they crashed through the jungle.I used to take long walks in the forest.There was one place where I loved to sit because from it I saw the mountains spread before me and below, a lake to which at dusk the wild animals, deer, pig, bison, elephant, leopard came to drink.
我并没有一直住在静修处。我有幸结识了一个当地的森林管理员，此人住在山脚下一座村庄的外边。他是希瑞·格涅沙的崇拜者，一旦从工作中抽出空来，就跑来和我们在一起住上两三天。他是个大好人，我们俩常促膝长谈。他喜欢找我练习英语。在相识了一段时间之后，他告诉我森林管理所在山上有间小屋子，什么时候我想一个人上山去住住，他就把钥匙交给我。后来，我每隔一段时间就到那儿去一趟。路上要跋涉两天——先坐长途汽车到森林管理员的村子，下边的路便需要步行了。不过，到了那里，就别有洞天——环境优雅、景色壮观。我把所能携带的东西装在一只背袋里自己背着，雇了个脚夫替我担食物。在那儿我一住就是多日，直至将食物吃完。那是一个木头小屋，后边带一间厨房，屋里有一张架子床，上面可放铺盖，还有一张桌子和两把椅子，再没有别的家具了。山上很凉爽，有时夜间生一堆篝火倒是挺惬意的。后来得知方圆二十英里渺无人烟，不由心惊胆战。夜间常听到虎啸或者野象群穿过丛林时发出的吼叫。我经常进森林里远足，最喜欢的是找个地方坐下，眺望远远近近的群山，眺望湖泊——黄昏时分，野生动物们纷纷聚在湖边饮水，其中有野鹿、野猪和野牛，也有大象和豹子。

“When I'd been at the Ashrama just two years I went up to my forest retreat for a reason that'll make you smile. I wanted to spend my birthday there.I got there the day before.Next morning I awoke before dawn and I thought I'd go and see the sunrise from the place I've just told you about.I knew the way blindfold.I sat down under a tree and waited.It was night still, but the stars were pale in the sky, and day was at hand.I had a strange feeling of suspense.So gradually that I was hardly aware of it light began to filter through the darkness, slowly, like a mysterious figure slinking between the trees.I felt my heart beating as though at the approach of danger.The sun rose.”
“来静修处满两年时，我又一次到森林小屋里去，原因说出来恐怕会惹你发笑——我想在那儿过生日。我提前一天抵达那儿，次日天未亮就醒来了，心想还不如到我刚才提及的那个观景点看日出去。那地方我闭着眼睛也摸得到。到了观景点，我坐在一棵树下等日出。此时仍是黑夜，但天上的星光已趋于暗淡，白日即将降临。我满怀期待，心里有一种特殊的感觉。曙光神不知鬼不觉地悄悄摸来，慢慢地刺破了黑暗，就像一道神秘的身形蹑足穿过林子。我的心一阵狂跳，就好像有危险在接近似的。太阳升了起来！”

Larry paused and a rueful smile played on his lips.
拉里打住话头，嘴角浮出一丝苦笑。

“I have no descriptive talent, I don't know the words to paint a picture；I can't tell you, so as to make you see it, how grand the sight was that was displayed before me as the day broke in its splendour. Those mountains with their deep jungle, the mist still entangled in the treetops, and the bottomless lake far below me.The sun caught the lake through a cleft in the heights and it shone like burnished steel.I was ravished with the beauty of the world.I'd never known such exaltation and such a transcendent joy.I had a strange sensation, a tingling that arose in my feet and travelled up to my head, and I felt as though I were suddenly released from my body and as pure spirit partook of a loveliness I had never conceived.I had a sense that a knowledge more than human possessed me, so that everything that had been confused was clear and everything that had perplexed me was explained.I was so happy that it was pain and I struggled to release myself from it, for I felt that if it lasted a moment longer I should die；and yet it was such rapture that I was ready to die rather than forgo it.How can I tell you what I felt?No words can tell the ecstasy of my bliss.When I came to myself I was exhausted and trembling.I fell asleep.
只恨我的表达力不强，不善于用语言描述景色，找不到合适的字眼向你形容破晓时展现在我眼前的那幅壮丽的景观。青山满目，丛林青翠，晨雾仍缭绕于树梢间，远处山脚下铺展着深不见底的湖泊。阳光从山巅间的空隙射进来，把灿银一般的光芒洒向湖面。好一幅美丽的景观，真叫我陶然若醉。一种从未有过的喜悦，一种超然物外的欢乐，荡漾在我的心间。我有一种异样的感觉，感到一阵战栗从脚后跟传到了头顶；我觉得就好像自己的灵魂突然升华，脱离了躯体，感受到从未有过的心旷神怡。一种醍醐灌顶的感觉油然而生——模糊不清的概念得到了澄清，令人困惑的疑难问题得到了解答。我高兴到了极致，乃至于心口发痛，于是便努力想摆脱这种状况，生怕这样下去会死去。然而，这种欢乐又是如此诱人，我宁肯死去也不愿将其放弃。那种感觉，我怎么能说得清呢？任何语言都无法表达我那种欣喜若狂的感受。末了恢复常态后，我已经精疲力竭，浑身发抖。最后，我懵懵然进入了梦乡。

“It was high noon when I woke. I walked back to the bungalow, and I was so light at heart that it seemed to me that I hardly touched the ground.I made myself some food, gosh, I was hungry, and I lit my pipe.”
“我醒来时，已是中午。返回小屋的途中，心里轻松愉快，脚下有腾云驾雾之感。我给自己弄了些吃的（天呀，我真是饿坏了），然后点上了烟斗。”

Larry lit his pipe now.
说到这里，拉里把手中的烟斗也点着了。

“I dared not think that this was illumination that I, Larry. Darrell of Marvin, Illinois, had received when others striving for it for years, with austerity and mortification, still waited.”
“我真不敢相信，别人经年累月清心寡欲地苦苦修行，尚未大彻大悟，而我，伊利诺伊州马文镇的拉里·达雷尔，竟然做到了。”

“What makes you think that it was anything more than a hypnotic condition induced by your state of mindcombined with the solitude, the mystery of the dawn, and the burnished steel of your lake?”
“你不觉得那只是一种催眠状态，是由你当时的心情，再加上孤独感、拂晓时分的神秘气氛以及灿银一般的湖水而造成的吗？”

“Only my overwhelming sense of its reality. After all it was an experience of the same order as the mystics have had all over the world through all the centuries, Brahmins in India, Sufis in Persia, Catholics in Spain, Protestants in New England；and so far as they've been able to describe what defies description they've described it in similar terms.It's impossible to deny the fact of its occurrence；the only difficulty is to explain it.If I was for a moment one with the Absolute or if it was an inrush from the subconscious of an affinity with the universal spirit which is latent in all of us, I wouldn't know.”
“我深切地感受到那一切都是真实的。不管怎样，千百年来，全世界的神秘主义者都有类似的体验。印度的婆罗门、波斯的苏非派、西班牙的天主教徒以及新英格兰的新教徒，只要描述那种难以形容的境界，所用词语都差不多。这种境界的存在是无可否认的，难就难在不好解释其原因。至于我当时是和‘无限’融为了一体，还是普通的精神向往（这种向往人人皆有）在潜意识上的一种表现，这我就说不清了。”

Larry paused for an instant and threw me a quizzical glance.
拉里停了一下，嘲弄地看了我一眼。

“By the way, can you touch your little finger with your thumb?”he asked.
“我问你，你能用拇指碰到你的小指头吗？”他问道。

“Of course，”I said with a laugh, proving it with the appropriate action.
“当然能。”我笑着回答，并且当场做给他看。

“Are you aware that that's something that only man and the primates can do?It's because the thumb is opposable to the other digits that the hand is the admirable instrument it is. Isn't it possible that the opposable thumb, doubtless in a rudimentary form, was developed in the remote ancestor of man and the gorilla in certain individuals, and was a characteristic that only became common to all after innumerable generations?Isn't it at least possible that these experiences of oneness with Reality that so many diverse persons have had point to a development in the human consciousness of a sixth sense which in the far, far future will be common to all men so that they may have as direct a perception of the Absolute as we have now of the objects of sense?”
“你可知道这只有人类和灵长目动物能够做到？由于拇指能接触到另外的几个手指，所以手才能成为称心如意的工具。也许，这种灵巧的拇指，当它还在雏形时，只为人类个别的祖先以及大猩猩所拥有，后来经过世世代代的进化才成了人类共同的特征。至于和‘无限’的融合，是许多人都有过的体验，这也许预示着人类意识中的第六感觉进化的方向，后者也许在极其遥远的未来会成为人类共同的特征，使得人类能够直接感受到‘无限’，就像咱们现在感受周围的事物一样容易。至少存在着这种可能性吧？”

“And how would you expect that to affect them?”I asked.
“你觉得那会对人类产生什么影响呢？”我问道。

“I can as little tell you that as the first creature that found it could touch its little finger with its thumb could have told you that infinite consequences were entailed in that insignificant action. So far as I'm concerned I can only tell you that the intense sense of peace, joy, and assurance that possessed me in that moment of rapture abides with me still and that the vision of the world's beauty is as fresh and vivid now as when first my eyes were dazzled by it.”
“这就说不清了。当初，人类的祖先能将拇指碰到小指，他们也不知道那一细小的动作后来竟会产生如此重大的影响。至于我自己的那段体验，我只能说，在那如痴如醉的时刻，我的心里一片宁静、欢乐和怡然，看到世界上那极为美丽的景观，不禁眼花缭乱。当时的情景至今仍历历在目。”

“But Larry, surely your idea of the Absolute forces you to believe that the world and its beauty are merely an illusion-the fabric of Maya.”
“话又说回来，拉里，你们那样看待‘无限’，势必会导致你们认为这个世界及其美景只不过是幻觉，是摩耶一手编织出来的。”

“It's a mistake to think that the Indians look upon the world as an illusion；they don't；all they claim is that it's not real in the same sense as the Absolute. Maya is only a speculation devised by those ardent thinkers to explain how the Infinite could produce the Finite.Samkara, the wisest of them all, decided that it was an insoluble mystery.You see, the difficulty is to explain why Brahman, which is Being, Bliss, and Intelligence, which is unalterable, which ever is and forever maintains itself in rest, which lacks nothing and needs nothing and so knows neither change nor strife, which is perfect, should create the world.Well, if you ask that question the answer you're generally given is that the Absolute created the world in sport with-out reference to any purpose.But when you think of flood and famine, of earthquake and hurricane and all the ills that flesh is heir to, your moral sense is outraged at the idea that so much that is shocking can have been created in play.Shri Ganesha had too much kindliness of heart to believe that；he looked upon the world as the expression of the Absolute and as the overflow of its perfection.He taught that God cannot help creating and that the world is the manifestation of his nature.When I asked how, if the world was a manifestation of the nature of a perfect being, it should be so hateful that the only reasonable aim man can set before him is to liberate himself from its bondage, Shri Ganesha answered that the satisfactions of the world are transitory and that only the Infinite gives enduring happiness.But endless duration makes good no better, nor white any whiter.If the rose at noon has lost the beauty it had at dawn, the beauty it had then was real.Nothing in the world is permanent, and we're foolish when we ask anything to last, but surely we’re still more foolish not to take delight in it while we have it.If change is of the essence of existence one would have thought it only sensible to make it the premise of our philosophy.We can none of us step into the same river twice, but the river flows on and the other river we step into is cool and refreshing too.
“若是以为印度人将这个世界视为幻觉，那就大错特错了。这并非他们的观点。他们只是说，世界之真实与无限”之真实在意思上是不同的。所谓摩耶，仅仅是狂热的思想家们虚构出来的，借此解释‘无穷’怎样创造‘有穷’。‘轮回’是诸多学说中最具智慧的一种，断定这是永远也解决不了的谜团。婆罗门是真我、极乐和智慧，是亘古不变的，与天地共存，无所缺、无所求，有为也无为，是完善至美的。既然如此，为什么还要创造世界呢？这就难以解答了。如果你提出这个问题，他们一般会回答，‘无限’创造世界只是随意而为之，并没有任何目的。可是，当你想到洪水和饥馑，想到地震和飓风，想到折磨人体的一切疾病，你的正义感就会油然而生，为这许多骇人听闻的灾难被随意创造出来而感到愤慨。希瑞·格涅沙有一副大慈大悲的心肠，不相信这样的学说。他认为这个世界是‘无限’的表现形式，充满了‘完美’。他教导我们说，天神造物是一种责任，而这个世界体现了天神慈悲的心性。我问道：既然这个世界体现的是十全十美天神的慈悲心性，为什么却如此可恨——非得设定目标，要众生摆脱它的束缚才能跳出苦海？希瑞·格涅沙回答，尘世间的完满都是暂时的，只有达到‘无穷’的境界，才可获得持久的幸福。不过，时间的无穷并不能改变事物的本质，不能使善更加善，也不能使白颜色更加白；如果说玫瑰花在中午不再娇艳，而它的美在清晨时却是真实的。世间万物没有一样是永恒的，只有蠢人才会要求事物永不消亡，而更蠢的做法则是放着眼前的欢乐不去享受。如果说变化是事物的本性，明智之举则是将其视为哲学的一种命题。谁也不会在同一条河里反复涉水，而这条河的河水依然潺潺流淌，走到另外一条河，那儿的河水同样清凉沁人。

“The Aryans when they first came down into India saw that the world we know is but an appearance of the world we know not；but they welcomed it as gracious and beautiful；it was only centuries later, when the exhaustion of conquest, when the debilitating climate had sapped their vitality so that they became a prey to invading hordes, that theysaw only evil in life and craved for liberation from its return. But why should we of the West, we Americans especially, be daunted by decay and death, hunger and thirst, sickness, old age, grief, and delusion?The spirit of life is strong in us.I felt more alive then, as I sat in my log cabin smoking my pipe, than I had ever felt before.I felt in myself an energy that cried out to be expended.It was not for me to leave the world and retire to a cloister, but to live in the world and love the objects of the world, not indeed for themselves, but for the Infinite that is in them.If in those moments of ecstasy I had indeed been one with the Absolute, then, if what they said was true, nothing could touch me and when I had worked out the karma of my present life I should return no more.The thought filled me with dismay.I wanted to live again and again.I was willing to accept every sort of life, no matter what its pain and sorrow；I felt that only life after life, life after life could satisfy my eagerness, my vigour, and my curiosity.
雅利安人初来印度的时候，把人类已知的世界仅仅看作未知世界的一种表象，但他们喜欢这个世界，觉得它风光旖旎、绚丽多彩。只是经过了若干世纪之后，当征伐的劳累和耗人的气候消磨掉他们的活力，使得他们成为异族大举入侵的俎上肉时，他们方才看到了人生的丑恶一面，并且渴望从轮回中解脱出来。不过，咱们西方人，尤其是美国人，为什么要畏首畏尾，害怕什么衰朽、死亡、饥渴、疾病、衰老、悲伤和幻象呢？咱们充满了旺盛的生命力。那时，我坐在自己的小木屋里抽着烟斗，觉得浑身精力充沛，比以往任何时候都精神抖擞，体内有一种力量急切地要爆发出来。要我远离尘世，过一种与世隔绝的生活，显然是不行的。相反，我要置身于尘世之中，欣赏世间的万物——其实并非欣赏事物的表象，而是欣赏其内含的‘无穷’。假如在那我曾经历过的极乐时刻，我果真与‘无限’融为了一体，他们所言不虚，我已脱离了轮回之苦，今世的孽债已经还清，那我就不回到尘世来了。这种念头叫我感到沮丧。其实，我渴望一次次地投生，愿意接受各种各样的生活，不管是体验痛苦还是忧伤。我觉得只有一次接一次地投生，才能实现我的愿望，倾注我的活力，满足我的好奇之心。

“Next morning I started down the mountain and the day after arrived at the Ashrama. Shri Ganesha was surprised to see me in European clothes.I'd put them on at the forestry officer's bungalow when I started uphill because it was colder there and hadn't thought to change them.
第二天早上，我动身下山，于次日来到了静修处。希瑞·格涅沙见我一身西装，不由觉得奇怪。这身衣服是我上山时在森林管理员那个小屋里换上的，因为山上冷，下山时也没有想起要换掉。

“‘I've come to bid you farewell, master，'I said.‘I am going back to my own people.'
‘师傅，我是来告别的，’我说，‘我打算回家乡去了。’

“He did not speak. He was sitting, as ever, cross-legged on the tiger skin on the dais.A stick of incense burnt in the brazier before it and scented the air with its faint fragrance.He was alone as he had been on the first day I saw him.He looked at me with an intensity so piercing that I had the impression he saw into the deepest recesses of my being.I know he knew what had happened.
他没吱声，仍和平时一样盘膝坐在虎皮台子上，面前的香炉里燃着一炷香，使得空气里香气氤氲。跟头一天见面时一样，他依然是独自一人在修行。他目不转睛地盯着我看，目光犀利，似乎能看透我的五脏六腑。我知道，他对一切都已心中有数。

“‘It is well，'he said.‘You have been gone long enough.'
‘这样好，’他说，‘你离家太久了。’

“I went down on my knees and he gave me his blessing. When I rose to my feet my eyes were filled with tears.He was a man of noble and saintly character.I shall always look upon it as a privilege to have known him.I said good-bye to the devotees.Some had been there for years；some had come after me.I left my few belongings and my books, thinking they might be useful to someone, and with my knapsack on my back, in the same old slacks and brown coat I had arrived in, a battered topee on my head, I trudged back to the town.A week later I boarded a ship at Bombay and landed at Marseilles.”
“我跪倒在地，接受了他的赐福，再站起来时，早已热泪盈眶。他是一个高尚、圣洁的人，我将永远以认识他为荣。之后，我和静修者们依依惜别——他们中有些已静修多年，有些则是在我之后来的。我把自己的几件衣物和书籍留下，觉得说不定对他们有用，然后背上行囊，身着我来时穿的旧长裤和棕色上衣，头上扣一顶破破烂烂的遮阳帽，步行回到镇上。一星期后，在孟买搭上一条船，在马赛上了岸。”

Silence fell upon us as we pursued our separate reflections；but, tired though I was, there was one more point which I very much wanted to put to him, and it was I who finally spoke.
我们两人沉默了，各自都陷入遐思冥想。尽管我已非常疲倦，但心里仍有谜团，需要问个清楚，于是便开了口。

“Larry, old boy，”I said，“this long quest of yours started with the problem of evil. It was the problem of evil that urged you on.You've said nothing all this time to indicate that you've reached even a tentative solution of it.”
“拉里老弟，”我说，“你多年来孜孜以求，起初就是为了探清恶的源头。正是这一命题，才催促你不断前行。你刚才讲了半天，却只字未提是否已找到答案，哪怕是不确定的答案也可以。”

“It may be that there is no solution or it may be that I'm not clever enough to find it. Ramakrishna looked upon the world as the sport of God.‘It is like a game，'he said.‘In this game there are joy and sorrow, virtue and vice, knowledge and ignorance, good and evil.The game cannot continue if sin and suffering are altogether eliminated from the creation.'I would reject that with all my strength.The best I can suggest is that when the Absolute manifested itself in the world evil was the natural correlation of good.You could never have had the stupendous beauty of the Himalayas without the unimaginable horror of a convulsion of the earth's crust.The Chinese crafts-man who makes a vase in what they call eggshell porcelain can give it a lovely shape, ornament it with a beautiful design, stain it a ravishing colour, and give it a perfect glaze, but from its very nature he can't make it anything but fragile.If you drop it on the floor it will break into a dozen fragments.Isn’t it possible in the same way that the values we cherish in the world can only exist in combination with evil?”
“也许这一命题压根就没有答案，或者我不够聪明，没有找到答案。罗摩克里希纳把创造世界看作是天神的一种游戏。他说：‘这就犹如玩游戏，其中有喜也有忧，有美德也有失德，有智慧也有愚昧，有善也有恶。如果将罪恶和痛苦去除掉，游戏便无法再进行下去了。’对这一观点，我持坚决反对的看法。充其量也只能说，‘无限’在这个世界上的表现形式是善与恶并存。没有地壳变化那种叫人无法想象的可怕的灾难，你就不可能欣赏到喜马拉雅山的壮丽景色。中国烧瓷的匠人能够把花瓶烧得像蛋壳一样薄，造型优美，图案漂亮，色彩鲜艳夺目，上的釉精致美观，但就其本质而言，它是易碎的，掉到地上就会成为许多碎片。同样的道理，我们在这个世界上所珍视的一切美好事物都是与丑恶的事物并存的，你说是不是呢？”

“It's an ingenious notion, Larry. I don't think it's very satisfactory.”
“这是一种独到的见解，拉里。但我觉得这样的回答难以叫人满意。”

“Neither do I，”he smiled.“The best to be said for it is that when you've come to the conclusion that something is inevitable all you can do is to make the best of it.”
“我也不满意。”他笑了笑说，“当你断定必须发表看法时，那就尽其力而为之，这就是我的解释。”

“What are your plans now?”
“你现在有什么打算？”

“I've got a job of work to finish here and then I shall go back to America.”
“眼前有件事需要了结，之后便回美国去。”

“What to do?”
“回去干什么？”

“Live.”
“过日子呗。”

“How?”
“怎么个过法？”

He answered very coolly, but with an impish twinkle in his eyes, for he knew very well how little I expected such a reply.
他回答时语气极其冷静，但眼睛却闪出一丝顽皮的光，因为他知道自己的回答会叫我意想不到。

“With calmness, forbearance, compassion, selflessness, and continence.”
“不急不躁，宽宏大度，大慈大悲，无私无欲，不近女色。”

“A tall order，”I said.“And why continence?you're a young man；is it wise to attempt to suppress what with hunger is the strongest instinct of the human animal?”
“高标准！”我说，“那么，为什么要不近女色呢？你还年轻，女色和吃饭一样是人这个动物最强的本能，你这样抑制它是否明智呢？”

“I am in the fortunate position that sexual indulgence with me has been a pleasure rather than a need. I know by personal experience that in nothing are the wise men of India more dead right than in their contention that chastity intensely enhances the power of the spirit.”
“所幸的是对我来说，接近女色只是寻欢作乐，而不是出于生理需要。根据我个人的经验，印度的那些哲人主张不近女色可以大大增强精神的力量，这话说得再正确不过了。”

“I should have thought that wisdom consisted in striking a balance between the claims of the body and the claims of the spirit.”
“我倒觉得明智之举是在肉体需要和精神需要之间保持一种平衡。”

“That is just what the Indians maintain that we in the West haven't done. They think that we with our countless inventions, with our factories and machines and all they produce, have sought happiness in material things, but that happiness rests not in them, but in spiritual things.And they think the way we have chosen leads to destruction.”
“印度人觉得这恰恰是西方人所没有做到的。他们认为，西方人发明创造无数，又是建工厂又是造机器，创造了大量财富，总想把幸福建筑在物质上，岂不知幸福与否并非由物质决定，而取决于精神。他们认为西方人选择的道路最终会导致毁灭。”

“And are you under the impression that America is a suitable place to practise the particular virtues you mentioned?”
“你认为要实现自己的精神追求，美国是理想之地吗？”

“I don't see why not. You Europeans know nothing about America.Because we amass large fortunes you think we care for nothing but money.We care nothing for it；the moment we have it we spend it, sometimes well, sometimes ill, but we spend it.Money is nothing to us；it's merely the symbol of success.We are the greatest idealists in the world；I happen to think that we've set our ideal on the wrong objects；I happen to think that the greatest ideal man can set before himself is self-perfection.”
“为什么不是？你们欧洲人一点不了解美国。你们以为我们积聚了大量的财富便钻进了钱眼里，岂不知我们视金钱如粪土，一有钱就花掉，有时花得好，有时花得糟，但不做守财奴。金钱对我们算不上什么，只是一种成功的象征。我们是天下最地道的理想主义者，也许在某些方面将理想放在错误的目标上罢了。依我之见，一个人最高的理想应该是自我完善。”

“It's a noble one, Larry.”
“这不失为一种崇高的理想，拉里。”

“Isn't it worth while to try to live up to it?”
“是不是值得为实现这一理想而努力呢？”

“But can you for a moment imagine that you, one man, can have any effect on such a restless, busy, lawless, intensely individualistic people as the people of America?You might as well try to hold back the waters of the Mississippi with your bare hands.”
“可你想过没有，以你一己之力，对焦躁不安、忙忙碌碌、目无法纪、极端个人化的美利坚民族，会产生什么影响呢？这无异于妄想要赤手空拳阻挡住滔滔的密西西比河河水。”

“I can try. It was one man who invented the wheel.It was one man who discovered the law of gravitation.Nothing that happens is without effect.If you throw a stone in a pond the universe isn't quite the same as it was before.It's a mistake to think that those holy men of India lead useless lives.They are a shining light in the darkness.They represent an ideal that is a refreshment to their fellows；the common run may never attain it, but they respect it and it affects their lives for good.When a man becomes pure and perfect the influence of his character spreads so that they who seek truth are naturally drawn to him.It may be that if I lead the life I've planned for myself it may affect others；the effect may be no greater than the ripple caused by a stone thrown in a pond, but one ripple causes another, and that one a third；it's just possible that a few people will see that my way of life offers happiness and peace, and that they in their turn will teach what they have learnt to others.”
“我可以试试嘛。车轮的发明是靠一己之力完成的，万有引力的发现也靠的是一己之力。所有的努力都会产生一定的影响。哪怕你把一粒石子投入池中，宇宙也会产生一点变化的。如果认为印度的那些圣人过的是无益于众生的日子，那就错了。他们宛若黑暗里的明灯，代表的是一种理想，能滋润众生的心灵。普通人可能永远也无法企及，但他们心怀崇敬之感，从而终身受益。一个人一旦变得纯洁、完美，就会产生广泛的影响，而那些追求真理的人自然而然会受到他的吸引。也许，如果我按照自己的规划去生活，便能对他人产生影响。这种影响也许就跟投石入池一样，激起了一圈涟漪，没什么大不了的，但第一圈涟漪会引起第二圈涟漪，第二圈涟漪又会引起第三圈涟漪。很可能会有一些人从我的生活方式中学到了满足和平静，他们就会将其传授给其他人，于是一传十，十传百。”

“I wonder if you have any idea what you're up against, Larry. You know, the Philistines have long since discarded the rack and stake as a means of suppressing the opinions they feared：they've discovered a much more deadly weapon of destruction-the wisecrack.”
“你可知道你在跟什么人作对吗，拉里？要知道，那些庸人曾经用严刑拷打和火刑镇压令他们感到害怕的思想家，虽然那些刑罚早已放弃不用了，现在却发明了一种更为致命的毁灭性武器——泼脏水。”

“I'm a pretty tough guy，”smiled Larry.
“我可是个非常坚强的人。”拉里笑了笑说。

“Well, all I can say is that it's damned lucky for you that you have a private income.”
“好吧，我只能说你有点进项算你的福气。”

“It's been of great use to me. Except for that I shouldn't have been able to do all I've done.But my apprenticeship is over.From now on it can only be a burden to me.I shall rid myself of it.”
“这笔钱帮了我不小的忙。要是没有它，我就不可能了结我的心愿。不过，我的学徒期现已结束，它对我就只能是负担了，我将弃之不用。”

“That would be very unwise. The only thing that may make the kind of life you propose possible is financial independence.”
“这可是极其非理性的打算。你想过闲云野鹤般的生活，就必须在物质上不依赖别人。”

“On the contrary, financial independence would make the life I propose meaningless.”
“恰恰相反，在物质上不依赖别人，会让那样的生活变得毫无意义。”

I couldn't restrain a gesture of impatience.
我实在按捺不住，不由露出了不耐烦的神色。

“It may be all very well for the wandering mendicant in India；he can sleep under a tree and the pious are willing enough to acquire merit by filling his begging-bowl with food. But the American climate is far from suitable for sleeping out in the open, and though I don't pretend to know much about America, I do know that if there's one thing your countrymen are agreed upon it is that if you want to eat you must work.My poor Larry, you'd be sent to the workhouse as a vagrant before ever you got into your stride.”
“对于印度的那些浪迹天涯的托钵僧而言，这倒没有什么，他们可以露宿于树下，而善男信女们为了积德，会把他们化缘的钵子装满食物。可是，美国的气候对露宿是很不适宜的，虽然我不敢说自己非常了解美国，但有一点我是知道的——你们的国人有一种共识：不劳动者不得食。可怜的拉里呀，恐怕不等你踏上旅途，就会被人当作流浪汉抓到教养院去的。”

He laughed.
他听了大笑。

“I know. One must adapt oneself to one's environment and of course I'd work.When I get to America I shall try to get a job in a garage.I'm a pretty good mechanic and I don't think it ought to be difficult.”
“这我知道。入乡随俗嘛，我当然是要劳动的。到了美国，我将想办法在汽车修配厂找个活干。我是个相当棒的机修工，想来不会有什么困难的。”

“Wouldn't you then be wasting energy that might be more usefully employed in other ways?”
“这是不是有点大材小用，白白浪费精力呢？”

“I like manual labour. Whenever I've got waterlogged with study I've taken a spell of it and found it spiritually invigorating.I remember reading a biography of Spinoza and thinking how silly the author was to look upon it as a terrible hardship that in order to earn his scanty living Spinoza had to polish lenses.I'm sure it was a help to his intellectual activity, if only because it diverted his attention for a while from the hard work of speculation.My mind is free when I'm washing a car or tinkering with a carburettor and when the job's done I have the pleasant sensation of having accomplished something.Naturally I wouldn’t want to stay in a garage indefinitely.It’s many years since I was in America and I must learn it afresh.I shall try to get work as a truck driver.In that way I should be able to travel from end to end of the country.”
“我喜欢干体力活。每当书看不下去的时候，我就干干体力活，可以借此振奋精神。记得有一次读斯宾诺莎的传记，了解到他为了糊口曾经为人打磨镜片，而那个传记作家竟视其为可怕的磨难，岂不愚蠢。我敢说，打磨镜片有助于缓解他的智力活动，最起码可以转移他的注意力，使得他暂停劳神的哲学思考。冲洗汽车或者修理汽化器时，我的大脑是放松的；把活干完，我会心情愉快，有一种成就感。当然，我可不是想干一辈子的修理工。离开美国已有多年，我得重新认识它。我将设法找一个卡车司机的工作。开卡车，我能四处跑，把美国跑个遍。”

“You've forgotten perhaps the most important use of money. It saves time.Life is so short, and there's so much to do, one can't afford to waste a minute；and just think how much you waste, for instance, in walking from place to place instead of going by bus and in going by bus instead of by taxi.”
“也许，你把金钱的一个最重要的用途给忘了——它可以节省时间。生命苦短，百事纷繁，必须只争朝夕。举例来说，你徒步走到哪个地方去，不知会浪费多少时间。在此，坐公共汽车胜似徒步，而搭乘出租车又胜似坐公共汽车。”

Larry smiled.
拉里嘿嘿一笑。

“True enough and I hadn't thought of it, but I could cope with that difficulty by having my own taxi.”
“此话不假，我却没有想到这一点。不过，我可以拥有自己的出租车，这一问题便迎刃而解了。”

“What d'you mean by that?”
“你这话是什么意思？”

“Eventually I shall settle in New York, among other reasons because of its libraries；I can live on very little, I don't mind where I sleep and I'm quite satisfied with one meal a day；by the time I've seen all I want to of America I should be able to have saved enough to buy a taxi and become a taxi driver.”
“最终，我将在纽约定居，不为别的，只因为那儿图书馆多。我所需的生活费用不多，在何处过夜全不在乎，每日一餐便可果腹。把要看的地方全都去过之后，我将会攒下一笔钱买辆出租车，当一名出租车司机。”

“You ought to shut up, Larry. You're as crazy as a loon.”
“真该把你关起来，拉里。你简直就是个疯子。”

“Not at all. I'm very sensible and practical.As an owner-driver I would need to work only for as many hours as would provide for my board and lodging and for the depreciation on the car.The rest of my time I could devote to other work and if I wanted to go anywhere in a hurry I could always go in my taxi.”
“一点不疯，而是很理智，也很实际。有自己的出租车，我开车挣的钱只要够食宿和汽车的折旧费就行了。其余的时间可以用在别处。到哪儿有急事，就开自己的车去。”

“But, Larry, a taxi is just as much of a possession as a government bond，”I said, to tease him.“As an owner-driver you'd be a capitalist.”
“不过，拉里，汽车跟政府公债一样也是财产哟，”我逗趣地说，“有辆汽车，你岂不成资本家了。”

He laughed.
他听了哈哈一笑。

“No. My taxi would be merely the instrument of my labour.It would be an equivalent to the staff and the begging-bowl of the wandering mendicant.”
“差矣。我的出租汽车只不过是我的劳动工具而已，相当于托钵僧的打狗棍和化缘钵。”

On this note of banter our conversation ended. I had noticed for some time that people were coming into the café with greater frequency.One man in evening dress sat down not far from us and ordered himself a substantial breakfast.He had the tired but satisfied mien of one who looks back with complacency upon a night of amorous dalliance.A few old gentlemen, early risers because old age needs little sleep, were drinking their café au lait with deliberation while through thick-lensed spectacles they read the morning paper.Younger men, some of them neat and spruce, others in threadbare coats, hurried in to devour a roll and swallow a cup of coffee on their way to a shop or an office.An old crone entered with a pile of newspapers and went round offering them for sale, vainly as far as I could see, at the various tables.I looked out of the great plate glass windows and saw that it was broad daylight.A minute or two later the electric light was turned off except at the rear of the huge restaurant.I looked at my watch.It was past seveno’clock.
这一番打趣之后，我们的谈话中止了。我早已留意到来餐馆进餐的顾客越来越多。一个身穿晚礼服的男客在离我们不远的位子坐下，点了一份丰盛的早餐。他看上去很疲倦，却心满意足，猜得到他一夜风流，此刻仍余兴未消。几位老者，由于年纪大睡觉少，所以起得早，一边不慌不忙喝着牛奶咖啡，一边透过厚厚的镜片读着晨报。年轻的食客，有的衣冠楚楚，有的不修边幅，狼吞虎咽吃一个面包，急急忙忙吞几口咖啡，便匆匆赶往商店或办公室上班去了。一个干瘪老太婆拿了一捆报纸进来，走到各个餐桌前兜售，但看上去好像一份也没卖掉。从硕大的玻璃窗望去，发现天已大亮。一两分钟后，所有的电灯都熄灭了，只有这家大餐馆后堂的灯仍开着。我看了看表——已经过七点钟了。

“What about a spot of breakfast?”I said.
“来点早饭怎么样？”我说。

We had croissants, all crisp and hot from the baker's, and café au lait.I was tired and listless, and felt certain I looked like the wrath of God, but Larry seemed as fresh as ever.His eyes were shining, there wasn’t a line on his smooth face, and he didn’t look a day more than twenty-five.The coffee revived me.
我们吃了些羊角面包，刚烤出来的，又热又脆，还喝了点牛奶咖啡。我疲倦不堪，无精打采的，样子一定很难看。拉里却精神抖擞，神采奕奕，光滑的脸上一道皱纹也没有，看上去顶多只有二十五岁。一杯咖啡落肚，我才有了几分精神头。

“Will you allow me to give you a piece of advice, Larry?It's not a thing I give often.”
“愿不愿听我进几句忠言，拉里？我可是不经常给人提忠告的。”

“It's not a thing I take often，”he answered with a grin.
“我也是不经常接受别人的忠告的。”他咧嘴一笑，回答道。

“Will you think very carefully before you dispossess yourself of your very small fortune?When it's gone, it's gone for ever. A time may come when you'll want money very badly, either for yourself or for somebody else, and then you'll bitterly regret that you were such a fool.”
“至于处理掉你那一丁点财产，你能不能三思而后行？一旦脱手，就永远回不来了。万一你自己或别人急需要用钱，那时你将追悔莫及，怪自己做了件蠢事。”

There was a glint of mockery in his eyes as he answered, but it was devoid of malice.
他回话时，眼睛里有一丝讥笑的神情，但那讥笑没有丝毫的恶意。

“You attach more importance to money than I do.”
“相比较而言，你可是比我看重金钱。”

“I can well believe it，”I answered tartly.“You see, you've always had it and I haven't. It's given me what I value almost more than anything else in life-independence.You can't think what a comfort it's been to me to think that if I wanted to I could tell anyone in the world to go to hell.”
“对此我不否认。”我坦率地回答说，“要知道，你口袋里老有钱花，我却不然。有钱就不用求人，而这正是我最为珍视的。你哪里懂得，最叫我感到开心的就是想骂谁，叫他见鬼去，那我就骂谁。”

“But I don't want to tell anyone in the world to go to hell, and if I did the lack of a bank balance wouldn't prevent me. You see, money to you means freedom；to me it means bondage.”
“我并不想骂任何人，不想让任何人见鬼去。即便我想骂人，也不会因为银行里没有存款就骂不成。这样说吧，金钱对你意味着自由，对我则是束缚。”

“You're an obstinate brute, Larry.”
“你真是块臭硬臭硬的顽石，拉里。”

“I know. I can't help it.But in any case I have plenty of time to change my mind if I want to.I'm not going back to America till next spring.My friend Auguste Cottet, the painter, has lent me a cottage at Sanary and I'm going to spend the winter there.”
“惭愧，惭愧，生性如此。不过，不管怎么样，时间还早着呢，如果要改变主意，还来得及。要说回美国，得等到来年春天。我的画家朋友奥古斯特·科迪特把萨纳里的一座度假屋借给了我，我打算在那边过冬。”

Sanary is an unpretentious seaside resort on the Riviera, between Bandol and Toulon, and it is frequented by artists and writers who do not care for the garish mummery of St. Tropez.
萨纳里是里维埃拉一个名不见经传的海滨度假地，位于邦多勒和土伦之间。画家和作家们对圣特罗佩斯花里胡哨的环境看不上眼，就会跑到这儿来休憩。

“You'll like it if you don't mind it's being as dull as ditchwater.”
“那地方就像一潭死水般缺乏生气，如果你愿去，那你就去吧。”

“I have work to do. I've collected a lot of material and I'm going to write a book.”
“我去那儿是有事做的。我收集了许多资料，准备写本书。”

“What's it about?”
“什么内容？”

“You'll see when it comes out，”he smiled.
“出版后你就知道了。”他笑了笑说。

“If you'd like to send it to me when it's finished I think I can get it published for you.”
“写完后，如果你愿意把书稿寄给我，我可以找人为你出版。”

“You needn't bother about that. I have some American friends who run a small press in Paris and I've arranged with them to print it for me.”
“不用劳驾你了。我有几个美国朋友在巴黎办了一家小型出版社，已经谈妥为我出版此书。”

“But you can't expect a book brought out like that to have any sale and you won't get any reviews.”
“以这种途径出版书，别指望销路好，也别指望有谁给你写书评。”

“I don't care if it's reviewed and I don't expect it to sell. I'm only printing enough copies to send to my friends in India and the few people I know in France who might be interested in it.It's of no particular importance.I’m only writing it to get all that material out of the way, and I’m publishing it because I think you can only tell what a thing’s like when you see it in print.”
“写不写书评我不在乎，也不指望销路好。印几本够送人就行了——我要寄给印度的朋友以及法国的几个熟人，他们也许会感兴趣的。此书也没有什么大的价值。我写书，只是想给手头的那些材料找个用途，出版书则是觉得应该把心里的想法变为白纸黑字。”

“I see the point of both those reasons.”
“这两条理由我都理解。”

We had finished our breakfast by now and I called the waiter for the bill. When it came I passed it over to Larry.
说话间，我们已吃完了早餐。我喊侍者过来结账。账单送来时，我把它递给了拉里。

“If you're going to chuck your money down the drain you can damn well pay for my breakfast.”
“既然你打算把你的钱扔进下水道，那就不妨先替我把饭钱付了吧。”

He laughed and paid. I was stiff from sitting so long and as we walked out of the restaurant my sides ached.It was good to get into the fresh clean air of the autumn morning.The sky was blue, and the Avenue de Clichy, a sordid thoroughfare by night, had a mild jauntiness, like a painted, haggard woman walking with a girl's springy step, that was not displeasing.I signalled a passing taxi.
他大笑一声，把钱付了。由于坐的时间长，我的身子都僵了。走出餐馆时，只觉得腰发酸。秋天早晨的空气洁净、新鲜，令人神清气爽。天空湛蓝，夜间显得邋里邋遢的克利希大街此时有了一些活泼的生气，就像是一个涂脂抹粉的憔悴妇人换上了姑娘家轻快的脚步在走路，看了并不让人感到讨厌。我向一辆驶过的出租车招了招手。

“Can I give you a lift?”I asked Larry.
“送你回住处怎么样？”我问拉里。

“No. I shall walk down to the Seine and have a swim at one of the baths, then I must go to the Bibliothéque, I’vegot some research to do there.”
“不用了。我到塞纳河边走走，然后找个浴场游游泳，再进图书馆里查资料。”

We shook hands and I watched him cross the road with his loose, long-legged stride. I, being made of stuff less stern, stepped into a taxi and returned to my hotel.When I got into my sitting-room I noticed that it was after eight.
跟他握了握手，然后我目送他迈开长腿悠闲地走过了马路。我可不像他是个铁打的人，于是就坐上出租车，回到了我的旅馆。进了客厅，我发现已经八点多了。

“This is a nice hour for an elderly gentleman to get home，”I remarked disapprovingly to the nude lady（under a glass case）who had since the year 1813 been lying on top of the clock in what I should have thought was a position of extreme discomfort.
“一个上了年纪的人真不该这个时候才回家。”我冲着钟表玻璃罩里的裸体女子自嘲地说了一声——那女子自从一八一三年起就侧卧在钟表的顶端，姿势在我看来极其不舒服。

She continued to look at her gilt bronze face in a gilt bronze mirror, and all the clock said was：tick, tick. I turned on a hot bath.When I had lain in it till it was tepid, I dried myself, swallowed a sleeping-tablet, and taking to bed with me Valéry’s Le Cimetière Marin, which happened to be on the night table, read till I fell asleep.
那女子眼睛盯着一面镀金铜镜在照镜子，望着镜子中她的那张镀金的铜脸。那种表一个劲地发出嘀嗒、嘀嗒的响声。我放了一浴盆热水开始泡澡，一直泡到水渐渐变温，才出来把身子擦干，然后吞了片安眠药。接下来，我拿起放在床头柜上的那本瓦勒里写的《海滨墓园》，躺到了床上，看看看着便昏然睡着了。