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双语·返老还童:菲茨杰拉德短篇小说选 冬天的梦 二

所属教程:译林版·返老还童:菲茨杰拉德短篇小说选

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2022年06月25日

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WINTER DREAMS II

Now, of course, the quality and the seasonability of these winter dreams varied, but the stuff of them remained. They persuaded Dexter several years later to pass up a business course at the State university—his father, prospering now, would have paid his way—for the precarious advantage of attending an older and more famous university in the East, where he was bothered by his scanty funds. But do not get the impression, because his winter dreams happened to be concerned at first with musings on the rich, that there was anything merely snobbish in the boy. He wanted not association with glittering things and glittering people—he wanted the glittering things themselves. Often he reached out for the best without knowing why he wanted it—and sometimes he ran up against the mysterious denials and prohibitions in which life indulges. It is with one of those denials and not with his career as a whole that this story deals.

He made money. It was rather amazing. After college he went to the city from which Black Bear Lake draws its wealthy patrons. When he was only twenty-three and had been there not quite two years, there were already people who liked to say: “Now there's a boy—”All about him rich men's sons were peddling bonds precariously, or investing patrimonies precariously, or plodding through the two dozen volumes of the“George Washington Commercial Course,” but Dexter borrowed a thousand dollars on his college degree and his confident mouth, and bought a partnership in a laundry.

It was a small laundry when he went into it but Dexter made a specialty of learning how the English washed fine woollen golf-stockings without shrinking them, and within a year he was catering to the trade that wore knickerbockers. Men were insisting that their Shetland hose and sweaters go to his laundry, just as they had insisted on a caddy who could find golf-balls. A little later he was doing their wives' lingerie as well—and running five branches in different parts of the city. Before he was twenty-seven he owned the largest string of laundries in his section of the country. It was then that he sold out and went to New York. But the part of his story that concerns us goes back to the days when he was making his first big success.

When he was twenty-three Mr. Hart—one of the gray-haired men who liked to say“Now there's a boy”—gave him a guest card to the Sherry Island Golf Club for a week-end. So he signed his name one day on the register, and that afternoon played golf in a foursome with Mr. Hart and Mr. Sandwood and Mr. T. A. Hedrick. He did not consider it necessary to remark that he had once carried Mr. Hart's bag over this same links, and that he knew every trap and gully with his eyes shut—but he found himself glancing at the four caddies who trailed them, trying to catch a gleam or gesture that would remind him of himself, that would lessen the gap which lay between his present and his past.

It was a curious day, slashed abruptly with fleeting, familiar impressions. One minute he had the sense of being a trespasser—in the next he was impressed by the tremendous superiority he felt toward Mr. T. A. Hedrick, who was a bore and not even a good golfer any more.

Then, because of a ball Mr. Hart lost near the fifteenth green, an enormous thing happened. While they were searching the stiff grasses of the rough there was a clear call of“Fore!” from behind a hill in their rear. And as they all turned abruptly from their search a bright new ball sliced abruptly over the hill and caught Mr. T. A. Hedrick in the abdomen.

“By Gad!” cried Mr. T. A. Hedrick, “they ought to put some of these crazy women off the course. It's getting to be outrageous.”

A head and a voice came up together over the hill:

“Do you mind if we go through?”

“You hit me in the stomach!” declared Mr. Hedrick wildly.

“Did I?” The girl approached the group of men. “I'm sorry. I yelled ‘Fore!’”

Her glance fell casually on each of the men—then scanned the fairway for her ball.

“Did I bounce into the rough?”

It was impossible to determine whether this question was ingenuous or malicious. In a moment, however, she left no doubt, for as her partner came up over the hill she called cheerfully:

“Here I am! I'd have gone on the green except that I hit something.”

As she took her stance for a short mashie shot, Dexter looked at her closely. She wore a blue gingham dress, rimmed at throat and shoulders with a white edging that accentuated her tan. The quality of exaggeration, of thinness, which had made her passionate eyes and down-turning mouth absurd at eleven, was gone now. She was arrestingly beautiful. The color in her cheeks was centered like the color in a picture—it was not a“high”color, but a sort of fluctuating and feverish warmth, so shaded that it seemed at any moment it would recede and disappear. This color and the mobility of her mouth gave a continual impression of flux, of intense life, of passionate vitality—balanced only partially by the sad luxury of her eyes.

She swung her mashie impatiently and without interest, pitching the ball into a sand-pit on the other side of the green. With a quick, insincere smile and a careless“Thank you!” she went on after it.

“That Judy Jones!” remarked Mr. Hedrick on the next tee, as they waited—some moments—for her to play on ahead. “All she needs is to be turned up and spanked for six months and then to be married off to an old-fashioned cavalry captain.”

“My God, she's good-looking!” said Mr. Sandwood, who was just over thirty.

“Good-looking!” cried Mr. Hedrick contemptuously. “She always looks as if she wanted to be kissed! Turning those big cow-eyes on every calf in town!”

It was doubtful if Mr. Hedrick intended a reference to the maternal instinct.

“She'd play pretty good golf if she'd try,” said Mr. Sandwood.

“She has no form,” said Mr. Hedrick solemnly.

“She has a nice figure,” said Mr. Sandwood.

“Better thank the Lord she doesn't drive a swifter ball,” said Mr. Hart, winking at Dexter.

Later in the afternoon the sun went down with a riotous swirl of gold and varying blues and scarlets, and left the dry, rustling night of Western summer. Dexter watched from the veranda of the Golf Club, watched the even overlap of the waters in the little wind, silver molasses under the harvest-moon. Then the moon held a finger to her lips and the lake became a clear pool, pale and quiet. Dexter put on his bathing-suit and swam out to the farthest raft, where he stretched dripping on the wet canvas of the spring-board.

There was a fish jumping and a star shining and the lights around the lake were gleaming. Over on a dark peninsula a piano was playing the songs of last summer and of summers before that—songs from“Chin-Chin”and“The Count of Luxemburg”and“The Chocolate Soldier”—and because the sound of a piano over a stretch of water had always seemed beautiful to Dexter he lay perfectly quiet and listened.

The tune the piano was playing at that moment had been gay and new five years before when Dexter was a sophomore at college. They had played it at a prom once when he could not afford the luxury of proms, and he had stood outside the gymnasium and listened. The sound of the tune precipitated in him a sort of ecstasy and it was with that ecstasy he viewed what happened to him now. It was a mood of intense appreciation, a sense that, for once, he was magnificently attuned to life and that everything about him was radiating a brightness and a glamour he might never know again.

A low, pale oblong detached itself suddenly from the darkness of the Island, spitting forth the reverberated sound of a racing motor-boat. Two white streamers of cleft water rolled themselves out behind it and almost immediately the boat was beside him, drowning out the hot tinkle of the piano in the drone of its spray. Dexter raising himself on his arms was aware of a figure standing at the wheel, of two dark eyes regarding him over the lengthening space of water—then the boat had gone by and was sweeping in an immense and purposeless circle of spray round and round in the middle of the lake. With equal eccentricity one of the circles flattened out and headed back toward the raft.

“Who's that?” she called, shutting off her motor. She was so near now that Dexter could see her bathing-suit, which consisted apparently of pink rompers.

The nose of the boat bumped the raft, and as the latter tilted rakishly he was precipitated toward her. With different degrees of interest they recognized each other.

“Aren't you one of those men we played through this afternoon?” she demanded.

He was.

“Well, do you know how to drive a motor-boat? Because if you do I wish you'd drive this one so I can ride on the surf-board behind. My name is Judy Jones”—she favored him with an absurd smirk—rather, what tried to be a smirk, for, twist her mouth as she might, it was not grotesque, it was merely beautiful—“and I live in a house over there on the Island, and in that house there is a man waiting for me. When he drove up at the door I drove out of the dock because he says I'm his ideal.”

There was a fish jumping and a star shining and the lights around the lake were gleaming. Dexter sat beside Judy Jones and she explained how her boat was driven. Then she was in the water, swimming to the floating surfboard with a sinuous crawl. Watching her was without effort to the eye, watching a branch waving or a sea-gull flying. Her arms, burned to butternut, moved sinuously among the dull platinum ripples, elbow appearing first, casting the forearm back with a cadence of falling water, then reaching out and down, stabbing a path ahead.

They moved out into the lake; turning, Dexter saw that she was kneeling on the low rear of the now uptilted surf-board.

“Go faster,” she called, “fast as it'll go.”

Obediently he jammed the lever forward and the white spray mounted at the bow. When he looked around again the girl was standing up on the rushing board, her arms spread wide, her eyes lifted toward the moon.

“It's awful cold,” she shouted. “What's your name?”

He told her.

“Well, why don't you come to dinner to-morrow night?”

His heart turned over like the fly-wheel of the boat, and, for the second time, her casual whim gave a new direction to his life.

冬天的梦 二

现在,当然,他当初那些冬日梦想的性质已经发生了变化,也和季节没什么关系了。然而,这些梦想给他的心灵带来的震撼以及所激发的他对美和财富的向往却永驻心田。几年后,这些梦想使德克斯特放弃了到州立大学攻读商学课程的机会,就读了东部的一所历史更悠久、更有知名度的学校。他父亲现在生意很红火,本来可以为他支付学费的,然而实际上,他却在上大学期间为囊中羞涩而苦恼,而且上这所学校并不见得有什么好处。不过,千万不要因为这个孩子的冬日梦想一开始就碰巧是一门心思地想当有钱人,就觉得他纯粹就是个势利眼。他并不贪婪,他并没有鱼与熊掌兼而有之的想法,并不是既想要纸醉金迷的物质生活,又想和地位显赫的人们交往——他只想过纸醉金迷的物质生活。他常常渴望最好的东西,却又不知道要来做什么——有时候,他会和一种不可知的神秘力量相碰撞,使他的梦想落空,使他的生活陷入不可自拔的境地。这个故事讲述的就是使他的梦想落空的其中一种神秘的力量,而非概述他的整个人生。

他开始挣钱了,真是不可思议。大学毕业后,他去了那个对黑熊湖青睐有加的富人们聚居的城市。年仅二十三岁的他到那里还不到两年,人们就常常欣慰地说:“瞧,这个小伙子——”他的周围到处都是富家子弟在冒着风险兜售债券,或者是拿着祖宗的家产做风险投资,或者埋头研读二十四卷本的《乔治·华盛顿商业课程》,而德克斯特却凭着一张大学文凭和一张信心十足的嘴巴借了一千块钱,在一家洗衣店入伙当了合伙人。

他加盟的时候,这家洗衣店还很小,但是德克斯特专门钻研了英国人洗涤优质高尔夫羊毛长筒袜不缩水的秘诀,一年之内,他的洗衣店便深得人心,迎合了穿灯笼裤的高尔夫爱好者们的需求。男人们一定要将“喜乐蒂”长筒袜和毛衣送到他的洗衣店,就像当年他们一定要找那个能帮他们找到高尔夫球的球童一样。不久,他又开始为这些男人们的太太们洗涤贴身内衣——并在这个城里的不同地方开了五家分店。还不到二十七岁,他就拥有了当地最大的洗衣连锁店。就在那时,他卖掉了自己在洗衣店的份额,去了纽约。不过,我们所关心的,是他刚刚飞黄腾达的那段日子。

他二十三岁的时候,哈特先生——是喜欢说“瞧,这个小伙子”的那群白发老先生中的一个——给了他一张雪莉岛高尔夫俱乐部的周末贵宾卡。于是,有一天,他在贵宾出席名单上签上了自己的名字。那天下午,哈特先生、桑德伍德先生、T. A.赫德里克先生和他进行了高尔夫球四人对抗赛。他觉得没有必要告诉大家,就在这同一个高尔夫球场上,他曾经为哈特先生拎过球袋;也没有必要告诉大家,他闭着眼睛就知道每一个障碍、每一道沟槽的位置——有四个球童跟在他们身后,他看着他们,力图从他们的音容笑貌和一举一动捕捉到自己当年的影子,以缩短横亘在他的过去与现在之间的鸿沟。

那天真是奇怪,熟悉的往事总是突如其来,又稍纵即逝。这一刻他还感觉自己是个偶然的闯入者——下一刻,面对T. A.赫德里克先生,他又有一种高高在上的优越感,因为赫德里克先生这个人不仅讨厌,而且连高尔夫球都永远打不好。

接着,因为哈特先生在第十五果岭附近丢了一个球,牵出了一件大事。正当他们在深草区的粗草地上找球的时候,一个清亮的声音从后面的山丘上传来:“闪开!”当所有人停止找球,猛然转过身来的时候,一只颜色鲜艳的右击球突然越过山丘打在T.A.赫德里克先生的小肚子上。

“天哪!”T. A.赫德里克先生叫道,“应该把这些疯女人从球场上赶出去。越来越不像话了。”

山丘上露出一个人头,同时传来一个声音:

“我们要从这里过去,介意吗?”

“你打到我的肚子了!”赫德里克先生歇斯底里地嚷道。

“是吗?”姑娘走到这群男人身旁,“抱歉,我叫你们‘闪开’了!”

她的眼神漫不经心地对着每个男人看了一眼——然后便扫视着球道去寻找她丢的那只球了。

“我的球是不是蹦到粗草(1)区里了?”

难以判断她是真的有疑问还是含沙射影,另有所指。不过,片刻之后,她就将答案揭晓了,因为她的搭档也爬上山丘了,她兴高采烈地大声叫道:

“找到了!如果不是有东西挡住,我的球就上了那道果岭了。”

她摆好姿势,准备用五号铁头球杆打短球的时候,德克斯特正在细细地打量她。她穿着一条蓝底方格纹棉布裙,领口和双肩处都镶着白边,更加突出了她那被晒黑了的肤色。她在十一岁时的故作姿态,单薄的身体,秋波盈盈的眼睛以及向下弯成两道弧线的嘴唇组合在一起的那种极不协调的感觉消失不见了,现在的她看起来楚楚动人。她双颊上的两点颜色就像丹青妙手的神来之笔——这颜色不是“红润”,它会流淌,会释放暖意,而且时明时暗,时隐时现,仿佛随时都会消退、消失一般。这奇妙的颜色和笑意盈盈的嘴巴无不让人觉得,她时而气韵流转,时而生机勃发,时而激情四射,而且种种感觉连续循环,不断变化——她顾盼生辉的眼睛中透着忧伤,只有这一点才将她给人的感觉减弱了几分。

她不耐烦地挥起五号铁头球杆,毫无兴致地将球击进对面果岭上的一个沙坑里。接着,脸上立刻露出了那种虚假的微笑,漫不经心地说了声“谢谢!”,便追了过去。

“那个朱迪·琼斯!”隔壁发球区的赫德里克先生说,他们等待着——等了一会儿——让她先打,“她就是欠揍,要是有人照着她的屁股,揍她个半年,再把她嫁给一个过气的骑兵队长当老婆,就万事大吉了。”

“天哪,她漂亮极了!”刚刚三十岁出头的桑德伍德先生说。

“漂亮极了!”赫德里克先生轻蔑地说,“她总是一副急着让人亲嘴的样子!转着母牛似的大眼珠子盯着城里的每一头小牛犊!”

要是以为赫德里克先生指的是母性的本能,这可值得怀疑。

“如果她好好打,她的高尔夫会打得很出色的。”桑德伍德先生说。

“她没那体形。”赫德里克先生一本正经地说。

“她的身材很好。”桑德伍德先生说。

“我们应该庆幸,她的球打得还不够快。”哈特先生朝德克斯特眨了一下眼说。

将近黄昏的时候,太阳落山了,洒下一片金色的余晖,放射出变幻不定的蓝色和紫色光线,将西部的天空交给了清爽多风的夏夜。德克斯特站在高尔夫俱乐部的露台上眺望,看着湖面被微风吹起的层层涟漪,在满月下面犹如银色的糖浆。然后,月亮似乎默默地做出暗示,让天地万物归于平静,于是,湖水变成一个清澈的游泳池,月色迷离,一片静谧。德克斯特穿上泳衣,朝最远处的充气码头游去,他浑身滴着水,伸展四肢,躺在跳板湿漉漉的帆布上。

一条鱼儿跳出水面,一颗星星在闪耀,湖的周围灯火通明。暗夜中的一个半岛上,一架钢琴在弹奏去年夏天以及前几年夏天流行的乐曲——从《请——请》《卢森堡公爵》到《巧克力士兵(无愁丘八)》——对德克斯特来说,在一望无际的湖面上,飘荡着悦耳动听的钢琴曲,这场景似乎总是妙不可言的,因此他一动不动地躺在那里,侧耳倾听。

这会儿,钢琴正在演奏一首快乐的曲子,这是五年前的一首新曲子。那时,德克斯特还在读大学二年级。有一次,他们在毕业舞会上演奏这首曲子,但是那时他没钱参加豪华的舞会,只能站在体育馆外面倾听。一听到这首曲子,他就会感到一阵猝然的狂喜,他带着这份狂喜,来看待他目前的际遇。他真是感到心满意足,他觉得天遂人愿,日子过得一帆风顺,周围的一切都让人觉得明媚和灿烂,这种感觉恐怕这辈子也就这么一次了。

一个灰蒙蒙的长方形物体突然沿着地面离开了黑漆漆的岛屿,发出赛艇才有的那种轰鸣声,在它身后划开两条浪花翻滚的白色水带。眨眼间,一艘汽艇便出现在他的身旁了,哗哗的水浪声淹没了钢琴激越而清脆的音乐声。德克斯特用胳膊支起身体,看到一个人站在机轮旁,两只黑溜溜的眼睛正隔着水面注视着他,两人渐行渐远——接着,汽艇呼啸而去,在湖心处漫无目的地绕起大圈子来,绕了一圈又一圈,所到之处水浪席卷而起。同样奇怪的是,汽艇的速度慢了下来,缓缓地转了一圈后,又驶回了充气码头。

“谁在那儿呢?”她关掉马达,大声问道。现在她离德克斯特非常近,近得他都能看清她穿的泳衣了,显然她穿的是粉红色的连体泳衣。

汽艇鼻子撞了一下充气码头,充气码头突然颠簸了一下,使他失去平衡,猛地朝她滚过来。他们互相认出了对方,然而他们心思却各不相同。

“今天下午打高尔夫球的那几个人当中就有你吧?”她问道。

他做了肯定回答。

“哦,你会开汽艇吗?因为要是你会的话,我希望你来开,这样的话,我就可以在后面用冲浪板冲浪了。我叫朱迪·琼斯——”她赏了他一个怪怪的傻笑——更确切地说,她有意做出傻笑的样子,比如说,她尽量把嘴歪到一边,可是这并不让人感到奇怪,反而可爱极了——“我住在岛那边的一幢房子里,有个男人在房子里等我。看到他把车开到门口,我就开着汽艇离开码头了,因为他说我是他的目标(2)。”

一条鱼儿跳出水面,一颗星星在闪耀,湖的周围灯火通明。德克斯特坐在朱迪身旁,她教他怎么开她的汽艇。然后,她跳进水里,用美人鱼一样的泳姿向漂在水上的冲浪板游去。看着她游泳,对眼睛来说是一种休息,就像看树枝在摇曳,海鸥在飞翔。她的胳膊晒得像灰胡桃果一样,在乳白色的涟漪间优雅地摆动,胳膊肘先露出来,接着小胳膊向后一摆,弹奏出抑扬顿挫的落水声,然后再向前一划,落入水中,在前面划出一条水痕。

他们行到湖的深处;德克斯特回头一看,只见她跪在翘起的冲浪板上,身子悬在冲浪板低下去的那头。

“开快点,”她喊道,“能开多快就开多快。”

他顺从地将操作杆往前猛地一推,船头便立刻腾起雪白的浪花。当他再次回头看的时候,这个姑娘已经站在冲浪板上,乘风破浪,双臂舒展,抬头看着月亮。

“快冻死了,”她大喊,“你叫什么名字?”

他告诉了她。

“哦,明天过来吃晚餐吧?”

他的心脏就像汽艇的飞轮一样跳得飞快,而她这随随便便的心血来潮再次为他的人生指出了一个全新的方向。

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