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双语·返老还童:菲茨杰拉德短篇小说选 伯妮斯剪短发 三

所属教程:译林版·返老还童:菲茨杰拉德短篇小说选

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2022年05月12日

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BERNICE BOBS HER HAIR III

While Marjorie was breakfasting late next day Bernice came into the room with a rather formal good morning, sat down opposite, stared intently over and slightly moistened her lips.

“What's on your mind?” inquired Marjorie, rather puzzled.

Bernice paused before she threw her hand-grenade.

“I heard what you said about me to your mother last night.”

Marjorie was startled, but she showed only a faintly heightened color and her voice was quite even when she spoke.

“Where were you?”

“In the hall. I didn't mean to listen—at first.”

After an involuntary look of contempt Marjorie dropped her eyes and became very interested in balancing a stray corn-flake on her finger.”

“I guess I'd better go back to Eau Claire—if I'm such a nuisance.” Bernice's lower lip was trembling violently and she continued on a wavering note: “I've tried to be nice, and—and I've been first neglected and then insulted. No one ever visited me and got such treatment.”

Marjorie was silent.

“But I'm in the way, I see. I'm a drag on you. Your friends don't like me.” She paused, and then remembered another one of her grievances. “Of course I was furious last week when you tried to hint to me that that dress was unbecoming. Don't you think I know how to dress myself?”

“No,” murmured less than half-aloud.

“What?”

“I didn't hint anything,” said Marjorie succinctly. “I said, as I remember, that it was better to wear a becoming dress three times straight than to alternate it with two frights.”

“Do you think that was a very nice thing to say?”

“I wasn't trying to be nice.” Then after a pause: “When do you want to go?”

Bernice drew in her breath sharply.

“Oh!” It was a little half-cry.

Marjorie looked up in surprise.

“Didn't you say you were going?”

“Yes, but—”

“Oh, you were only bluffing!”

They stared at each other across the breakfast-table for a moment. Misty waves were passing before Bernice's eyes, while Marjorie's face wore that rather hard expression that she used when slightly intoxicated undergraduate's were making love to her.

“So you were bluffing,” she repeated as if it were what she might have expected.

Bernice admitted it by bursting into tears. Marjorie's eyes showed boredom.

“You're my cousin,” sobbed Bernice. “I'm v-v-visiting you. I was to stay a month, and if I go home my mother will know and she'll wah-wonder—”

Marjorie waited until the shower of broken words collapsed into little sniffles.

“I'll give you my month's allowance,” she said coldly, “and you can spend this last week anywhere you want. There's a very nice hotel—”

Bernice's sobs rose to a flute note, and rising of a sudden she fled from the room.

An hour later, while Marjorie was in the library absorbed in composing one of those non-committal marvelously elusive letters that only a young girl can write, Bernice reappeared, very red-eyed, and consciously calm. She cast no glance at Marjorie but took a book at random from the shelf and sat down as if to read. Marjorie seemed absorbed in her letter and continued writing. When the clock showed noon Bernice closed her book with a snap.

“I suppose I'd better get my railroad ticket.”

This was not the beginning of the speech she had rehearsed up-stairs, but as Marjorie was not getting her cues—wasn't urging her to be reasonable; it's an a mistake—it was the best opening she could muster.

“Just wait till I finish this letter,” said Marjorie without looking round. “I want to get it off in the next mail.”

After another minute, during which her pen scratched busily, she turned round and relaxed with an air of“at your service.” Again Bernice had to speak.

“Do you want me to go home?”

“Well,” said Marjorie, considering, “I suppose if you're not having a good time you'd better go. No use being miserable.”

“Don't you think common kindness—”

“Oh, please don't quote ‘Little Women’!” cried Marjorie impatiently. “That's out of style.”

“You think so?”

“Heavens, yes! What modern girl could live like those inane females?”

“They were the models for our mothers.”

Marjorie laughed.

“Yes, they were—not! Besides, our mothers were all very well in their way, but they know very little about their daughters' problems.”

Bernice drew herself up.

“Please don't talk about my mother.”

Marjorie laughed.

“I don't think I mentioned her.”

Bernice felt that she was being led away from her subject.

“Do you think you've treated me very well?”

“I've done my best. You're rather hard material to work with.”

The lids of Bernice's eyes reddened.

“I think you're hard and selfish, and you haven't a feminine quality in you.”

“Oh, my Lord!” cried Marjorie in desperation. “You little nut! Girls like you are responsible for all the tiresome colorless marriages; all those ghastly inefficiencies that pass as feminine qualities. What a blow it must be when a man with imagination marries the beautiful bundle of clothes that he's been building ideals round, and finds that she's just a weak, whining, cowardly mass of affectations!”

Bernice's mouth had slipped half open.

“The womanly woman!” continued Marjorie. “Her whole early life is occupied in whining criticisms of girls like me who really do have a good time.”

Bernice's jaw descended farther as Marjorie's voice rose.

“There's some excuse for an ugly girl whining. If I'd been irretrievably ugly I'd never have forgiven my parents for bringing me into the world. But you're starting life without any handicap—”Marjorie's little fist clinched. “If you expect me to weep with you you'll be disappointed. Go or stay, just as you like.” And picking up her letters she left the room.

Bernice claimed a headache and failed to appear at luncheon. They had a matinée date for the afternoon, but the headache persisting, Marjorie made explanation to a not very downcast boy. But when she returned late in the afternoon she found Bernice with a strangely set face waiting for her in her bedroom.

“I've decided,” began Bernice without preliminaries, “that maybe you're right about things—possibly not. But if you'll tell me why your friends aren't—aren't interested in me I'll see if I can do what you want me to.”

Marjorie was at the mirror shaking down her hair.

“Do you mean it?”

“Yes.”

“Without reservations? Will you do exactly what I say?”

“Well, I—”

“Well nothing! Will you do exactly as I say?”

“If they're sensible things.”

“They're not! You're no case for sensible things.”

“Are you going to make—to recommend—”

“Yes, everything. If I tell you to take boxing-lessons you'll have to do it. Write home and tell your mother you're going to stay another two weeks.”

“If you'll tell me—”

“All right—I'll just give you a few examples now. First you have no ease of manner. Why? Because you're never sure about your personal appearance. When a girl feels that she's perfectly groomed and dressed she can forget that part of her. That's charm. The more parts of yourself you can afford to forget the more charm you have.”

“Don't I look all right?”

“No; for instance you never take care of your eyebrows. They're black and lustrous, but by leaving them straggly they're a blemish. They'd be beautiful if you'd take care of them in one-tenth the time you take doing nothing. You're going to brush them so that they'll grow straight.”

Bernice raised the brows in question.

“Do you mean to say that men notice eyebrows?”

“Yes—subconsciously. And when you go home you ought to have your teeth straightened a little. It's almost imperceptible, still—”

“But I thought,” interrupted Bernice in bewilderment, “that you despised little dainty feminine things like that.”

“I hate dainty minds,” answered Marjorie. “But a girl has to be dainty in person. If she looks like a million dollars she can talk about Russia, ping-pong, or the League of Nations and get away with it.”

“What else?”

“Oh, I'm just beginning! There's your dancing.”

“Don't I dance all right?”

“No, you don't—you lean on a man; yes, you do—ever so slightly. I noticed it when we were dancing together yesterday. And you dance standing up straight instead of bending over a little. Probably some old lady on the side-line once told you that you looked so dignified that way. But except with a very small girl it's much harder on the man, and he's the one that counts.”

“Go on.” Bernice's brain was reeling.

“Well, you've got to learn to be nice to men who are sad birds. You look as if you'd been insulted whenever you're thrown with any except the most popular boys. Why, Bernice, I'm cut in on every few feet—and who does most of it? Why, those very sad birds. No girl can afford to neglect them. They're the big part of any crowd. Young boys too shy to talk are the very best conversational practice. Clumsy boys are the best dancing practice. If you can follow them and yet look graceful you can follow a baby tank across a barb-wire sky-scraper.”

Bernice sighed profoundly, but Marjorie was not through.

“If you go to a dance and really amuse, say, three sad birds that dance with you; if you talk so well to them that they forget they're stuck with you, you've done something. They'll come back next time, and gradually so many sad birds will dance with you that the attractive boys will see there's no danger of being stuck—then they'll dance with you.”

“Yes,” agreed Bernice faintly. “I think I begin to see.”

“And finally,” concluded Marjorie, “poise and charm will just come. You'll wake up some morning knowing you've attained it and men will know it too.”

Bernice rose.

“It's been awfully kind of you—but nobody's ever talked to me like this before, and I feel sort of startled.”

Marjorie made no answer but gazed pensively at her own image in the mirror.

“You're a peach to help me,” continued Bernice.

Still Marjorie did not answer, and Bernice thought she had seemed too grateful.

“I know you don't like sentiment,” she said timidly.

Marjorie turned to her quickly.

“Oh, I wasn't thinking about that. I was considering whether we hadn't better bob your hair.”

Bernice collapsed backward upon the bed.

伯妮斯剪短发 三

第二天,玛娇丽正在吃早餐,伯妮斯进来了,郑重其事地向她问好,在她的对面坐下,下意识地看着她,轻轻地润了润嘴唇。

“你在想什么?”玛娇丽十分疑惑地问。

伯妮斯停顿了片刻,扔出了手榴弹。

“我听到你昨天晚上对你母亲说我的坏话了。”

玛娇丽吃了一惊,神色稍微有点紧张,不过说话的声音依然十分镇静。

“在哪儿听到的?”

“在客厅里。我不是故意的——刚开始的时候不是。”

玛娇丽不禁流露出满脸鄙夷的神色,她垂下眼皮,开始饶有兴味地摆弄手上的玉米片。

“既然我这么让你讨厌——我想我最好还是回奥克莱尔去。”伯妮斯的下嘴唇抖得很厉害,她继续用颤抖的声音说,“我已经尽力表现得很友善,然而——然而,我首先被人忽视,接着又受人侮辱。我们家的客人,绝对不会受到这样的待遇。”

玛娇丽沉默不语。

“可是,我是个绊脚石,我明白。我拖累你了。你的朋友们不喜欢我。”她顿了顿,想起另一桩不开心的事,“当然,上个礼拜,你暗示我穿的裙子不合身,我很生气。难道你不认为我知道怎么穿衣服吗?”

“是的。”玛娇丽小声咕哝着。

“什么?”

“我没暗示什么,”玛娇丽简短地说,“我记得,我只说过,每天的穿着打扮都讲究一些比隔三岔五地讲究一次要好得多。”

“你觉得这样说很友好吗?”

“我没有想友好。”她顿了顿,接着说道,“你什么时候走?”

伯妮斯猛抽一口气。

“哦!”她带着一半哭腔。

玛娇丽吃惊地抬头看了看。

“难道不是你说要走的吗?”

“是的,可是——”

“哦,原来是吓唬人的!”

她们隔着餐桌对望了一会儿。伯妮斯泪眼汪汪,而玛娇丽则一脸决绝,就像过去神魂颠倒的大学生向她表白时她所惯有的表情。

“那么你是在吓唬人啦。”她重复着刚才的话,仿佛这正如她所愿。

伯妮斯涕泗横流地承认了。玛娇丽的眼神里透着无聊。

“你是我表姐,”伯妮斯抽泣着说,“我来看——看——看望你。我打算待一个月,况且,如果我提前回去,我母亲会知道,她会知——知道——”

玛娇丽等待着,直到伯妮斯断断续续的话语转为轻轻的啜泣。

“我会把我这个月的零花钱给你,”她冷冷地说,“随便你到哪里度过这最后一个礼拜。有家很不错的旅馆——”

伯妮斯的抽泣突然变成了风笛般的哭泣,她突然起身冲出房间。

一个小时后,玛娇丽正在书房专心写一封闪烁其词、捉摸不透、只有年轻姑娘才想得出的信,伯妮斯来了,她的眼睛红红的,情绪已经平静下来。她不看玛娇丽,随手从书架上拿本书,坐下来,俨然在看书。玛娇丽似乎沉浸于信中,不停地写着。当时针指向中午时,伯妮斯突然合上书。

“我想我最好去买火车票。”

这个开场白并不是她在楼上排练好的——这是她有勇气说出的最好的开场白,然而玛娇丽没有明白她的用意——没有劝她理智些,也没有说这一切都是误会。

“等等,等我写完这封信,”玛娇丽目不转睛地说,“我想赶快把它寄出去。”

她又唰唰地写了一会儿,然后回过头,松了一口气,带着一种“随你的便”的神情。伯妮斯不得不再次开口。

“你希望我回去吗?”

“呃,”玛娇丽若有所思地说,“希望,如果你过得不开心,那么最好走。没必要在这里受罪。”

“难道你就不想表达一点最起码的善意——”

“哦,请不要用《小妇人》中的腔调跟我讲话!”玛娇丽不耐烦地大声嚷道,“那已经不合时宜了。”

“你这么认为?”

“天哪,是的!现代女性怎么能像那些愚蠢透顶的女人一样生活?”

“我们的母亲们对她们可是怀有敬仰之心的。”

玛娇丽笑起来。

“是的,没错——也未必!另外,我们的母亲们在她们自己的世界里独善其身,但她们几乎不了解女儿们的问题。”

伯妮斯挺直了身子。

“请不要谈论我的母亲。”

玛娇丽笑了。

“我觉得我并没有提到她。”

伯妮斯觉得被人牵着鼻子走而偏离了主题。

“你觉得你对我好吗?”

“我已经尽力了。你是朽木不可雕。”

伯妮斯的眼圈红了。

“我觉得你心肠很硬,很自私,你没有一点女性的温柔。”

“哦,上帝!”玛娇丽绝望地叫道,“你这个蠢货!像你这样的女孩子只配拥有无聊平淡的婚姻;所有那些极其无能的表现都被你当作女性的温柔。一个有想象力的男人和一个身着华丽服饰、给予他无限遐想的女人结了婚,结果发现她只是一个虚弱不堪、哭哭啼啼、怯懦如鼠的矫情的混合体,那一定是一个沉重的打击!”

伯妮斯不知不觉目瞪口呆。

“有女人味儿的女人!”玛娇丽继续说,“她将全部的大好年华都用来谴责像我这样的女孩,殊不知,我们过得开心着呢。”

听着玛娇丽的话,伯妮斯的嘴巴张得更大了。

“丑女孩有理由抱怨。如果我是个无法改变容貌的丑女孩,我一定不会原谅父母把我带到这个世上来。然而你的人生完美无缺——”玛娇丽的小拳头握得紧紧的,“如果你想让我和你一起哭鼻子,你会大失所望。是走是留,悉听尊便。”她拿起信,离开了书房。

伯妮斯假称头疼,没有吃午饭。她们原本和人约好,下午要去看演出,但是伯妮斯的头还在疼,玛娇丽就向一个情绪还不算很低落的男孩做了解释。傍晚回来时,她发现伯妮斯在卧室等她,一脸严肃,让人捉摸不透。

“我决定了,”伯妮斯开门见山地说,“也许,你是对的——也许相反。但是,如果你能告诉我你的朋友们为什么不——不喜欢我的话,我想我会照你的话去做。”

玛娇丽对着镜子把头发抖落下来。

“此话当真?”

“当真。”

“毫无保留?乖乖听话?”

“呃,我——”

“呃什么!完全听我的话吗?”

“如果是合乎情理的事情。”

“不合情理!你不需要合乎情理。”

“你会——建议——”

“是,无所不包。如果我让你去上拳击课,你也必须得去。给家里写信,告诉你母亲,你要再待两个礼拜。”

“如果你告诉我——”

“好——我现在就给你举几个例子。首先,你举止不自然。为什么?因为你对自己的外貌从来都没有自信。如果一个女孩打扮得十分整洁得体,她就会忘记使她不自信的东西。这就是魅力。你越是忘我,就越有魅力。”

“难道我看起来不对吗?”

“是的;比如说,你从来不修眉毛。你的眉毛又黑又亮,然而你却任其乱蓬蓬的,这有损你的美貌。如果你把无所事事的时间拿出十分之一来修修眉毛,它们就会漂亮无比。你要用眉刷把眉毛刷直。”

伯妮斯疑惑地挑起了眉毛。

“你是说男人们会注意到眉毛?”

“是的——下意识地。你回家后,应该矫正一下牙齿。这些几乎是不起眼的细节,然而——”

“但是,我认为,”伯妮斯疑惑不解地插嘴道,“你很看不上女人这些细枝末节的事情。”

“我是不喜欢小心眼,”玛娇丽回答说,“但是女孩必须把自己打扮得精致有品位。如果她看上去优雅高贵,她才配谈论俄国、乒乓球,或者国际联盟,并可以所向披靡。”

“还有什么?”

“哦,这才刚开始!还有你跳舞的姿势。”

“我跳得不好吗?”

“是的,不好——你的身体应该靠近舞伴;是的,应该这样——稍微靠近点。昨天我们一起跳舞时,我注意到了这一点。你跳舞的时候,身子直挺挺的,你应该稍微前倾。或许,那些旁观的老女人会告诉你,你的仪态看起来多么庄重,然而,除非你是黄毛丫头,否则这种姿势对于男人,尤其是至关重要的男人而言就太过僵硬了。”

“继续说下去。”伯妮斯听得一头雾水。

“嗯。你还得慢慢学会对那些不善交际的男生和气点。除了和那些最受欢迎的男孩跳舞外,任何其他人和你跳舞都仿佛是对你的侮辱似的。哎,伯妮斯,我每跳几下,就会有人插进来——这些大都是什么人?哎,是那些不善交际的人。没有哪个女孩可以付得起忽视他们的代价。他们是任何群体中的大多数。过于腼腆而不善言辞的男孩恰恰是练习交谈的最好人选。而笨手笨脚的男孩是练习舞步的最佳人选。如果你肯尊重他们,表现出宽容的姿态,那么你就能在任何情况下应对自如。”

伯妮斯深深地叹了口气,然而玛娇丽还没有说完。

“如果你去参加舞会,想要真正快活起来,比如说,有三个不善交际的男孩子和你跳舞;如果你能和他们谈得非常愉快,他们就不会觉得被你缠住而脱不开身,那么,你就算是小有收获了。下次他们还会回到你身边,渐渐地,有很多不善交际的男人都愿意和你跳舞,那些富有魅力的男孩子就不会担心被你绊住——就会和你跳舞了。”

“没错,”伯妮斯由衷地说,她快要晕倒了,“我想我开始明白了。”

“最后,”玛娇丽总结道,“自信和魅力自然就有了。某天早上,你一觉醒来,发现你拥有了它们,男人们也会发现这一点的。”

伯妮斯站了起来。

“太感谢你了——但是以前,从来都没有人给我讲这些,太不可思议了。”

玛娇丽没有回答,只是神情严肃地注视着镜子里的自己。

“你太好了,这么帮我。”伯妮斯继续说。

玛娇丽依然没有回答,伯妮斯觉得是自己表现得过于激动了。

“我知道你不喜欢多愁善感。”她怯怯地说。

玛娇丽突然转过身来。

“哦,我没有那样想。我在想是不是最好给你剪个短发。”

伯妮斯一下子仰面瘫倒在床上。

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