英语修辞与写作·5.3　掌握影响读者的三种词语使用手段

5.3　掌握影响读者的三种词语使用手段

5.3A　让事实说话

1）提出一个论点之后，紧接着列出事实，令读者感到信服。例如：

The United States faces a major crisis in health care, and has a worsening social crisis in which over 30 million Americans live below the poverty line, and in which large segments of its population continue to be deprived of adequate opportunities for economic advancement.

（Phil Williams, et al.: International Affairs, 1993）

鉴于十多年前的情况依然存在，现任总统奥巴马提出了医疗改革。

历史和人物传记之类著作中更加重视事实，包括具体时间、地点、人物姓名、身份、年龄等。例如：

Mary [Queen of Scots] had returned to Scotland in 1561, a young widow of nineteen, after an absence of thirteen years in France ...

（D. Harris Willson）

2） 在说明抽象的概念或道理时，也选用一些似乎可以看得见、摸得着的字眼，给读者以实在感。例如：

The principle of verification is supposed to furnish a criterion by which it can be determined whether or not a sentence is literally meaningful.

（Alfred Jules A yer）

句中的verification和criterion具有“实证性”和“可操作性”的意味。下例通过比喻把抽象的概念“实体化”了：

It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note insofar as her citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad check; a check which has come back marked “insufficient funds.” But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation ...

（Martin Luther King, Jr.）

5.3B　贴近读者

1）通过使用I think之类的插入语给读者一个谦逊、严谨的印象，从而使读者更容易接受所写出的道理或事实。例如：

What, then, can we learn from Samual Johnson in general? First, I think, the inestimable value of individuality.

（F. L. Lucas）

Whether this slowing-down of traffic will cause a great or a small loss of national income is, I am told, a point on which expert economists are not agreed.

（Max Beerbohm）

2） 在汉语文章中，我们常发现作者明明一个人，却不用第三人称单数，而说“我们（认为）”，“我们的（看法是）”，英语写作中也有同样情况，似乎不是作者发表看法，而是与读者一起说话，或共同探讨。例如：

No doubt, if one has more than one self （like most of us）, it had better be one's better self that one tries to become.

（F. L. Lucas）

By and large, the report of the National Commission on Educational Excellence has been received favorably by those of us in the teaching profession, even though the blame for a shoddy educational system falls so often on our shoulders. For example, recently we have been hearing a lot about teacher competency and the need for merit pay, as if this would solve our problems.

（Helen C. Vo-Dinh）

5.3C　引导和感染

1）引导是指为了帮助读者跟上作者的思路，使用一些过渡性的词语，如so much for ..., however, even so, on the other hand, for example, in the next chapter, and so on等。这些在组段和谋篇中十分重要，详见19.2C“恰当的过渡”。

2） 使用一些带有感情色彩或含义倾向性的词语去影响读者，因为词语有褒义、贬义或中性含义之分。例如：

She's a dear old soul（褒义） / an old woman（中义） / an old witch（贬义）.

He's a literary artist（褒义） / a writer（中义） / a hack（贬义）.

That's an ancient and glorious tradition（褒义） / an old tradition（中义） / an old-fashioned tradition（贬义）.

下面一段描写，既生动逼真，又带几分刻薄：

Immediately next to me was an aggrieved French couple with a small child who looked around with a rat-like malevolence. He had the same face as his father. They looked like very cheap microscopes.

（Lawrence Durrell）

邵志洪先生在“Slanted Words的语义特征及其语言表达中的Slanting”一文中引用了描写同一个人的两段文字（《外国语》1993.1）：

A. Although his face was bearded and neglected, his eyes were clear, and he looked straight ahead as he walked rapidly down the road. He seemed very tall; perhaps the fact that his coat was too small for him emphasized that impression.

尽管他留着胡子，忽视了容貌的整洁，然而目光炯炯。当他快步沿路而下时，目光正视前方。他似乎很高大，可能是因为他的外套太小的缘故，于是便使这印象更加深刻。

B. He had apparently not shaved for several days, and his face and hands were covered with grime. His shoes were torn, and his coat, which was several sizes too small for him, was spotted with dried clay.

他显然已有几天没刮脸了，脸上和手上满是污垢，鞋儿破了，尺寸比他身材小了好几号的外套上星星点点沾满了泥巴。

上述两段描写中虽然都未使用明显的褒义或贬义词语，但两种截然不同的态度却流露于字里行间：A篇突出优点，如明亮的眼睛，高大的身材，对其短处一笔带过，其中although, neglected等还带有为之辩护的味道；B篇则是不留情面地揭他的短，首先用apparently突出他几天未刮脸，最后又嘲弄他外套小，等等，显然是一概否定。

这两段描写也说明，一个作家要表现自己的好恶，固然可以选用褒义或贬义词语，但如果中性词语使用得当，同样可以达到目的，而且手法更高明、更隐蔽，也更能有效地感染读者，让他们在阅读中不知不觉地接受自己的看法。这岂不是最理想的使用得体和最巧妙的创新？

练习五　（Exercise Five）

I. Preview Questions:

1. Is it still necessary for us to pay attention to grammar and choice of words in speech and writing since “the King's English slips and slides in conversation”?

2. What are the two chief ways to create “neologism”?

3. Is “coinage” similar to or part of “neologism”?

4. Do you think “letting the facts speak” an effective method to convince the readers?

5. Can you cite an example to indicate that the use of parenthesis helps improve the relationship between a writer and his readers?

6. What do you think of the two devices suggested in Section 5.3C which are used to win over the readers?

II. Correct any mistakes in the following sentences:

1. It was a groan-made thing to do and only an archeologist could have thought of it.

2. This signing of the document is illegible.

3. No average man is conscious of the predictableness.

4. Most of us think poor of that movies.

5. Her arguement is that bear （“carry”）, bear （“animal”） and bare （“naked”） are three different words having the same pronunciations.

III. Decide which words are incorrect for the context, and replace them with appropriate ones:

1. Ladies and gentlemen, I regret to inform you that our distinguished speaker cannot appear with us tonight, as a result of his having suddenly gotten sicker than a dog.

2. My buddies and I, dog-tired from a long haul at the foundry, inferred from each other's lamentations that we were all set for a few beers.

3. My Uncle Amos has always been a devoted, honest husband and a true, upright American citizen. That is why he received due notoriety.

4. That is a most glorious and very old-fashioned tradition in my hometown where people still stick to it.

5. At my great expense, I obtained the original manuscript of Professor Brown's widely admired scientific treatise, only to discover, alas, that it was really lousy.

IV. Fill in the blanks in the following chart to see the choice of words, favourable, unfavourable, or neutral:

Favourable Unfavourable Neutral

1. assembly mob ____________

2.____________ hovel house

3. resolute, determined head-strong / obstinate ____________

4. thrifty _____/_____ /_____ / economical

5.____________ devour eat

6. conversation gossip ____________

7. svelte ____________ thin

8. ____________ that old witch that old woman

V. Read the following and try to apply the points to analysing sample passages in the respect of word choice:

One way to pep up your prose and make it livelier is to avoid lifeless words, which consist mainly of what can be referred to as overworked verbs, worn-out nouns, and petrified phrases.

The life of a sentence depends to a great extent on its verbs, the word that directs the action. In the sentence “The professor looked at the student”, the verb is general and lifeless, and therefore should be substituted with some other verbs: stared, suggests a lengthy look, perhaps at some wrongdoing; gazed, a steady look, maybe of admiration or appreciation; glanced, a quick look, probably as a check; and peered, a searching look, probably through glasses or with squinting eyes.

In selecting nouns, we often rely on the same worn-out few, instead of struggling to find the precise one to explain exactly what we mean. Compare the sentences in the two columns:

In many cases, students fail to learn about career opportunities. Many students fail to learn about career opportunities.

The nature of this emergency situation called for drastic action. This emergency called for drastic action.

There has been persistent instability in numbers of staff. The staff has continually varied in numbers.

There exists a considerable lack of knowledge of the disabled. We do not know much about the disabled people.

Once fresh and striking, hackneyed phrases or clichés, have lost all their sparkle. They pop into our mouths when we talk, and in our haste to express ideas, we find them handy. But in writing we have an advantage: the time to search for other words in the first draft or a later one.

Now analyse the language in the following letter from President Abraham Lincoln to General Ulysses S. Grant. Is the language natural, simple, concrete, and concise? How appropriate, sincere, and effective is the letter?

My dear General:

I do not remember that you and I ever met personally. I write this now as a grateful acknowledgment for the almost inestimable service you have done the country. I wish to say a word further. When you first reached the vicinity of Vicksburg, I thought you should do what you finally did — march the troops across the neck, run the batteries with the transports, and thus go below; and I never had any faith, except a general hope that you knew better than I, that the Yazoo Pass expedition and the like could succeed. When you got below and took Port Gibson, Grand Gulf and vicinity, I thought you should go down the river and join General Banks; and when you turned northward, east of the Big Black, I thought it was a mistake. I now wish to make the personal acknowledgment that you were right and I was wrong.

Yours very truly, Abraham Lincoln

参考答案
Ⅱ. 1. groan-making (Not groan-made)

2. signature (Not signing)

3. predicability (Not predicableness)

4. poorly (Not poor), that movie / the movies (Not that movies)

5. argument (Not arguement), pronunciation (Not pronunciations)

Ⅲ. 1. Use “... because he suddenly fell ill” or “... as a result of his having become seriously ill” for “... as a result of his having suddenly gotten sicker than a dog”.

2. Change “lamentations”into“low spirits”.

3. Replace “notoriety”with“fame”or“respect”.

4. Use“long-standing”,“venerable”or“time-honored”for“old-fashioned”,and use “keep up”,“maintain”or“uphold”in stead of“stick to”.

5. Delete “alas” and replace “really lousy” with “not as good as expected”.

Ⅳ. 1. crowd　2. residence　3. strongly-willed　4. cheap / miserly / stingy / hard-fisted　5. feast　6. talk　7. skinny　8. that dear old soul