你说的没错!不回别人消息就是很无礼。下个问题。

OK, it may be a bit more complicated than that. For instance, what if the person you're ignoring is someone you've told 10 times not to contact you? In that case, it's not just justified to ignore them; it might be downright unwise to get back in contact with them at all. On the other hand, what if some car salesperson is texting you 14 times a week about that SUV you test drove, and you're just too lazy to tell him you're not interested in buying anymore? Are you obligated, by etiquette, to give him a response, or can you just pretend he doesn't exist until he goes away?

……好吧，事情可能没那么简单。举个栗子，假如对方是你之前跟他说了10遍别来找你的人呢?在这种情况下，不理他们不仅是没问题的，跟他们再次联系反而更是失策。另外，假如对方是个汽车销售员，一星期给你打了14次电话、想问你要不要买上次试驾，然而你又懒得告诉他不感兴趣。难道你必须得给他回复吗?能不能就假装他不存在，等他自动放弃?

Digital etiquette is a new frontier — a new, boring frontier full of half-baked rules that nobody has agreed on. The Bro Council, which taps into that lucrative market of those who wish to cheerfully self-identify as bros, claims you should always text someone back "if you want to stay friends with the person" . Woman's Day magazine — in my imagination, facing off in a United Nations-style general assembly against Bro Council — seems to think ignoring texts is par for the course and that the real key is for the texter to discontinue texting in the hopes of a response . And to think that gender harmony and equality seemed so near.

数字时代的社交礼仪是一个全新的领域，有许多不成熟甚至不统一的规则。兄弟会(Bro Council)称，“假如你想跟某人保持朋友关系”，就不能不回信息。《妇女之日》杂志(在原作者眼里是兄弟会的对抗者)却似乎认为，不回消息是很正常的，真正关键的是，发消息的人应该停止骚扰。

So who to trust? Some bad news: Etiquette may have some "experts," but there's no actual authority. Of course, etiquette is also based on cultural constructions, meaning that even if Miss Manners were to detail every single texting faux pas or imperative, any rule could easily change with societal shifts.

但是应该相信谁呢?这里有个坏消息：在社交礼仪这种事上可能有些所谓的“专家”，但是却没有真正的权威。社交礼仪是以文化建设为基础的，假如真要把社交礼仪的每一项都写下来，这些规则也会因为社会发展而不断变动。

This leaves us in the unfortunate position of having to decide for ourselves, on a case-by-case basis, whether ignoring a text is fair or foul. And so we kind of end up where we've started: Yup, ignoring texts is rude. But there are lots of reasons to do so that may leave one without fault. So let's set some ground rules to make it easier in the future. You shouldn't ignore a text from a friend or family member. Example: "Hi honey, it's your mom. I love you!" Sure, it's not strictly necessary, but just say "hi" back. Maybe if the text is begging for a response, we should generally assume that a reply is required. For example: "Are you coming over right now with the shovel and rubber gloves or going to swing by later?" Urgency might be another reason that silence might be rude. For instance, if someone texted to ask if you can please come down to the city jail and post bail, you can assume that person would like to know ASAP if you're going to do it.

所以在不回消息究竟是好是坏，我们只能具体问题具体分析。这时候我们又不得不回到开头那句话：没错，不回消息就是很无礼。但是这样做的理由可以有很多，所以我们不一定有错。不过为了做事更加方便，我们还是可以定下一些基本原则。比如，不要不回朋友或家人的短信。比如你妈给你发了条短信“亲爱的，妈妈爱你!”没人规定你必须要回，但你还是可以说一句“嗨!”假如对方在消息中要求你回复，一般来说就应该回复。例如“你是要带着铲子和手套过来还是等过来之后再去买?”另外，如果是紧急事件，不回消息也不礼貌。比如，有人给你发消息，问你能不能去一下市监狱交保释金，这种情况下对方肯定是希望你尽快回复的。

The car salesperson? No obligation. Nobody wants to text with a stranger, after all.

至于汽车销售员?那就没有回复的必要了。毕竟谁都不想跟陌生人有什么交集。